HOW LOVELY.
oh, how lovely it is to be like everybody else
to pretend, to be fake
to be untruthful.
look at how lovely it is
to start the **** that
everyone is in to hearing
all the crap that isnt meant to be
known or heard.
oh, sure its fun to start
lying, backstabbing
oh sure, its fun alright.
yeah thats right
being like everybody else.
fake,censored, scripted, superficial.
oh, how lovely it is
to be like everybody else.
how lovely.
YOU HAD ME AT HELLO
as i abscond from this
fake world that im in
i think of you while i wander around.
i missing you so much
even though i just walked by you.
oh, i know if we werent meant to be
how come we werent together in the past?
so lets flee
into a different world.
you gave me butterflies
whenever you smiled.
you had me at hello.
2007-05-02 15:18:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I REALLY like your poem, "How Lovely"- I was smiling with recognition as I read it, because I too write poetry, and know a lot of people who write it too, and mine is very, very similar to yours. I love TRUTHFUL, ANGRY poetry. VERY good. I may copy this down just to read it again. You know, it reminds me, when people at shops or whatever ask you how you are, and they expect you to say, "Fine!" but *I* always say, "I'm actually kind of depressed/pissed off/sad/ etc/" and the person always gets VERY uncomfortable. Why can't people speak the truth about their feelings? Great poem. YOU HAD ME AT HELLO- I liked this one too, but not as much as the first. My favorite lines from this poem are, "You gave me butterflies whenever you smiled. You had me at hello." perfect! You've got IT! Good luck.
2007-05-02 15:27:20 · answer #1 · answered by PURR GIRL TORI 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the style and rhythm of your poems. And I like those aspects A LOT.
What I don't like is the choice of wording. It's probably true to your age, but I find slang and incorrect english to be distracting in poetry, and for me it makes it a lot less powerful. If you keep up your writing, I imagine you will be able to write some impressive stuff as your writing skills improve. Good luck =)
2007-05-02 16:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by Lineya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're so gifted. i comprehend i've got stated that previously. this may well be a deep significant poem, it relatively is a diverse type than you employ now whether it is so stable to me. Drown my soul in wash of sorrow. build my doubts and leave me hallow. you comprehend i'm keen on you. I desire i ought to open up the way you do.
2016-10-04 07:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by faim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like them, the first one deffinetally describes the generallity of the population as today goes, im just glad i am not like that. and the second one hits home for me fairly well cause i feel that way about someone often
yur pretty good if those are original, props 2 u
2007-05-02 15:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You're such a great writer! You're even better than Britney Spears!
2007-05-02 15:21:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like the title.
You sound like a very unique and young person.
Keep on writing!
2007-05-02 15:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by leesa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe there is a word when you copy Jerry Maguires movie statements...
Can't think of it right now...
Poem is ok. Pretty powerful kinda stuff. :-)
2007-05-02 15:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by axix9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
number 1: get help
number 2: nice job
2007-05-02 15:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it very good
2007-05-02 15:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by marsh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good. A little cynical maybe but good.
2007-05-02 15:27:12 · answer #10 · answered by penelopejanepitstop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋