I'm a stay at home mom?

Question

I'm a stay at home mom and my relationship isn't working out he don't understand how hard it is to be at home all the time and trying to have sex what can I do cause my sex drive is not there anymore.

Answer 1

Honey? Is that you?

I don't know. I'm in his position. I don't understand. I'll tell you how I feel when I get repeatedly rejected.

I feel sexually frustrated.
I feel unattractive, because my own spouse doensn't want me, and feel like nobody would.
I feel unloved because my spouse isn't able to make a few minutes to do something that actually feels fantastic even though its incredibly important to me.

I started working out a few months ago, and I don't feel nearly as unattractive now. I get checked out by decent looking women. So I feel a bit better. Unfortunately, I'm also not in the 'depressed nobody wants me' stage either. I'm _acutely_ aware that if I dumped my wife, I could have a fufilling sexual relationship elsewhere.

I do not understand. I know she is tired from caring for the children. That would explain why we have somewhat less sex then I'd like. But what we are having points to her actively avoiding a pleasureable activity with me. Its hard not to take that personally, and feel pretty resentful.

Before someone else jumps in, I work full time, wife is stay at home, she does most of the cooking during the week, weekend is split, and I clean the house.

I would love to hear more from your side, to help ME understand my wife. I hope that maybe I helped you understand that for your husband, its partially about sex, but intertwined with that is feeling intimate and close to you and feeling loved and wanted and accepted.

Answer 2

I know some men just don't understand that a blankly blank thing when it come to taking care of a child. I have an ideal that it may open his one track mind (thinking of he needs only). But there some rules that must not be broken. Rule 1) You can't help him during this period that is the main rule that his must not break.
Rule 2) you can only give him only 3 advise per day.
Rule 3) You only can step in when you feel its necessary.

The experiment is to ask him to stay home with the child for two days straight taking care of the child around the clock, while you kick back and relax. He see after the child needs feeding, change diapers, washing clothes, cook and clean the house. While you're out at the mall or over a girlfriend house chatting. The night of his first full day of doing the things that you do, between 11pm and 4 am ask him for sex. On the second day repeat what you did on the first day, later on that evening the two of you sit down together and ask him to share his experience for the last two days. then ask him does he feel now. I hope this will help him to understand how you feel after the end of the day taken care of the child all day, clean, cook and having sex when he want it.

good luck

I

Answer 3

You just aren't happy , and I don't think you're in love with this guy anymore. I wish I knew if you're married and how old your kids are. I think you need marriage counseling if you want to stay with him. Otherwise, it might be time for at least a legal separation, if not a divorce. And remember, you are entitled to child support. This was a hard question to answer, because you left out so many important things; like if you're married, if he has a good job, is a good guy or a jerk I hope I was of some help. I wish you all the luck in the world . I do know that you can't spend the rest of your like as it is now.

Answer 4

I know well where you are coming from........................
There are several different ways to try and combat what I call housewife fatigue.
Get a sitter and go away, even if it is just to a local motel, getting out of the house will do wonders. Men who leave the house and go to work don't really understand. Ask him how he feels at the end of his shift, relieved right? Well then ask him to imagine never leaving his place of work.

IF you cannot afford to go to a motel or hotel, try getting a sitter and giving yourself a beauty session and having a "date". Dinner and a movie, maybe a drink afterwords......... it will do alot too.

The next thing you need to do is develop some type of interest or hobby. Maybe get yourself a part time job, even if it is only 10 hours a week, you will be amazed at how this can make you feel.
Either that or pick one night a week to go to a friend's or the library or something like that alone, without the kiddies.......

You are experiencing burnout, there is only so much Dora, Franklin and Blues Clues one person can handle before starting to feel like a blob of nothing.

Answer 5

You could always come up with some ideas to live things up a bit. You could maybe go to Victoria Secrets, and get you some sexy wear....that always helps. I know what you are going through. I had a spell of it for a minute. After watching Dora all day, you don't really feel like getting busy. I started working out, and feeling more sexy about myself. Put the kid to bed early, and put on some music,and get back to the way things were before the kids. Just know if you are not giving it at home that there are always some wild girls out there willing to give it for you. You can do this, unless you are totally not into him. If it is him, then I suggest sex therapy. Good luck girl.

Answer 6

I am a stay at home mother of 4 so I know how you feel. Its not easy staying at home all the time with the kids because we deserve some personal time for ourselves. As for your sex drive...if your man is constantly hounding you over the house, kids, sex, etc. that can make you not even want to have sex. I know most of the time at the end of the day I am so tired I just want to rest and unwind. Try finding some time just for you because you deserve it. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

you recognize, I favor I had someone like you sticking up for me. some days i am going to slack fairly reason I actually have worked so not undemanding the different days I even ought to furnish myself that ruin. I actually have a three 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old and a couple of three hundred and sixty 5 days old with yet another on the way so i'm getting exhausted surely. My husband complains that i favor to be cleansing at the same time as the little ones nap fairly of snoozing with them. yet you recognize what. the homestead isn't suitable, yet dishes are performed, I actually have a plan for dinner, the laundry is performed, ect. My homestead is sparkling and cleand and that i have self belief that even although i recognize he is going to a not undemanding job for 10 hrs an afternoon I actually have a not undemanding job right here to. Yeah i'm getting extra breaks to sit on the computing gadget for awhile. yet I keep my butt transferring on different stuff countless the day. I favor my 16 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old brother develop into as smart as you. He wont %. his own laundry off the floor and both one among my mom and father nonetheless paintings. you'd be a stunning husband and father sometime! do purely not rush it! take excitement on your unmarried life for slightly after extreme college or a minimum of do not marry for awhile. i don't sense sorry about it yet some days i needed I had let myself social gathering slightly earlier I settled down. tell your mom a lot of human beings available are rooting for her! And thanks to bypass to you for assisting her out. Your dad might want to do it now and again too. ( I even ought to admit that my husband will be a huge help on Sunday's if he's not fishing.)

Answer 8

it sounds like you already had a conversation with him about that... well i guess you and him are at this time at different stages of the relationship... i am wondering how long have you 2 been married and how old is the baby? did you give birth recently? that might be one of the reasons why your sex drive is so low... maybe you are taking some bc pills that will lower your sex drive or some other kind of hormones that are affecting you that way... just tell your husband that you need support from him at this time and ask him to be patient with you... best luck to you.

Answer 9

It's not that your sex drive is not there. You and your husband overly exhausted mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically and need to re-evaluate the reason you two want to be bond in this life journey together.

You and your husband have to first reach self accountibity and equalibrum have the intimacy and bond that seem to have decreased because of each of you taking each other's roles for granted and not being grateful to have one another.

Stress is causing everyone to be unfullfilled on all levels. Open communicate, respect and trust in a family unit is one of many elements to have your home transformed into a haven were one feels value, respected, and love inspite of everyday life.

Let me suggest that after your kids are put to bed. Take a hot steaming bath for 30 minutes relaxing to music (instrumental only) and don't think about anything just relax your mind, emotions, spirit and body. Once you've finish ask your husband to do the same after he's come home from work. Try this small experiment for 7 days. It works if you're both truly are commitment.

After you've both have finished go to your living room area. Sit down and give each other a hug and small kiss and a huge and smile at each other. First realize that you're both are gift to one another and not just taking each other for granted. During this process try not to bring up past mistakes or arguements,etc.

This exercise is to bond to each telling one another of the blessings that you have in your lives and expressing thankfullness and love. Begin to share intimacy with your rminds, heart, emotions, and spirit. When all of these elements are bonded and joined as one the desire to fullfill each other needs on a physcial level will be "the sky is the limit." The term "sex" is a physical short lived -- quicky but intimacy that includes all the senses-- minds, hearts, emotions, spirits and bodys creates longivity and bonding on all levels as one. This is the true level of committment. How can one be truly committment in only one of these areas and really love.

Everyday living is just that... taken care of the kids and planning for their future and both of your retirement,cooking, washing clothes, going to work, fixing the car, gardening, going to the grocey store, watching movies, etc... These will always remain. Living is truly experience the journey of life together in away that make everything worth it.

A family means togetherness and everyone has to participate in a loving caring way. Of course we have bad and hurtful days but it's how we response to these days.

The bible says: "Husbands love your wife like you love yourself and Wives love your husband like you love yourself...submit yourselves unto each other" Sometimes you can only give 40% and the other will pickup the 60% it's vice a versa. Don't point the finger at each other this is the life you want as family...there's sacifices, patience, endureness, selflessness, caring, uplifting, inspiring, holding hands and whatever else you want to include. Passion comes from both of you giving wanting and desiring to see the other happines, goals and fantasy fullfilled this is the true climax.

Don't look at your lives as an obligation because if you do you're already are doomed. God Bless

Answer 10

I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM AND IT ALONE IS A
JOB IN IT'S SELF. U HAVE TO COOK, CLEAN,
WASH, RUN ERRANDS, PAY BILLS, IRON, PICK
UP THE KIDS FROM SCHOOL, AND SO MANY
OTHER THINGS. IT NEVER ENDS. AND THEN
TO TOP IT OFF U NEED TO HAVE SEX WHEN
U DON'T FEEL LIKE IT JUST ADDS TO THE LIST
OF THINGS TO DO..... WHEN DOES IT STOP?
U JUST NEED TO FIND TIME FOR THE BOTH
OF U . IT WILL WORK IT SELF OUT........... GOOD
LUCK AND HAVE SOME PATIENCE AND
UNDERSTANDING,,,,,,,,,, THAT IS PART OF
BEING MARRIED.......................