My husband and I got into a fight, I said some pretty nasty things.....?

Question

But nothing as nasty as when he told me he hated me, my feelings are really hurt, but he doesnt care.

for the record all i was bitching and complaining about was the fact that he is irresoponsible with money. He has horrible credit which has kept us from getting a house now i found out he took money from our savings to gamble. He thinks this is ok

Answer 1

Well, you seem to have differing values about money, goals, truthfulness and maturity.

Maybe you should consider finding someone with your own values that you will be happier with. Life is short, you get one shot.

Answer 2

I would apologize for the words, but not for being upset. I would also go get an account in just your name and stash the cash. That way there won't be any unauthorized spending. You probably contribute to that savings too, so I think its fair for you to do that. I have found with irresponsible men, don't let them have direct access to the account with the bill and savings money, unless you want a constant headache. Let him have "x" amount per paycheck for gambling, red bulls, etc. Then take the rest to pay bills and provide a future for all of you. Good luck, and I've been there with this same issue.

Answer 3

This isn't the first fight the two of you have had. What are your fights about? Most end up about money or sex and those are never the real problems. Either get some professional help or get out of the marriage. It won't get better by itself.

Answer 4

Sounds like the two of you need to learn how to "fight fair", a concept that used to be taught in counseling. There are certain rules - the biggest of which is NEVER EVER SAY ANYTHING IN ANGER THAT YOU WILL REGRET LATER. You probably said some things that hurt him as deeply. Do not leave all of this laying on the table - get it settled now.

Answer 5

That's pretty tough, and it's verbal abuse.
He wanted to hurt you as badly as possible.
Better nip it in the bud now, or you'll end up like me, so numb to such nasty words that it doesn't even make me flinch anymore, no matter what he says, and desensitivity to things of this nature is BAD in a way. Let him know that hurt, and he can't say that anymore...and mean it!

Answer 6

ultimatums never work, don't try that; sounds like you have big issues....would be interesting to know how long you have been married.....perhaps you didn't see the giant wart BEFORE you got married...

If you two are talking to each other like that, you might as well go file for divorce, it is not normally my first choice, but neither of you has respect for the other; and you've chosen the worse weapon of all......words. They can't be taken back, they can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

Answer 7

I told my husband I hated him just last weekend. He was being a big stinker.
Our fight the other night he said worse things than I hate you, to me. . . =/ Maybe your husband considered what you said to be worse than what he said...

Answer 8

Gambling will put you in the poor house. You'll need to ultimadum him on that ****. And if someone tells you they don't love because of that, then he's an addict

Answer 9

I would apolygize for the things that you said, so you have a clear mind...Other than that, the two of you have some talking and hard questions to deal with....

Answer 10

Yall are married get it together.. Maybe its what you said to him that really hurt him that made him say that.. He wouldnt have married you if he really "hated" you..