My Son's Poem- Thoughts?

Question

My 14 yr old son wrote the following poem for school ( he had to write several) and, being a writer since I was 12, was very impressed with his work. He never wrote poetry before, and admitted that he spent a grand total of about 3 minutes on all of them, but I thought they were great...What do U think?

Living life on the Edge

I live my life on the edge,
Since the age of one, my mother says
The first time I jumped into a pool,
But I couldn’t swim, I’m such a fool
When I got a bit older, I climbed on the roof,
Thought I could fly, really smooth move
I didn’t get hurt on that lucky day
But that never stopped me from trying again
A little bit older, playing football with friends
Said, hey guys watch this, yeah I got hurt again
Thought I could flip like Ozzie Smith,
Almost stuck it, but busted my lip
Later on in the future I probably will
Do stupid things from the top of a hill
Sled with my friends, but not use the sled
That’s my life, living out on the edge.

Hambone6- As I said, he's only 14 and has never written anything before.....
Dedoklon- Thank you for the kind words....I think he feels comfortable writing,.hopefully he'll continue!!

Answer 1

impressive!

Answer 2

i like it.. it shows spontaneity and he is fully aware of his own personality and interests.
It is more of a rhyme than an abstract poem.. but this is a good way to start!
He spans the past and the future.. moving from retrospect to what he'd probably do next..
he ends off with the present statement - thats my life, living out on the edge..
he is proud of this and it is repeated like a personal motto!!
good job!

Answer 3

You sure it is a poem? It sounds like he took less then 3 minutes on it.

Answer 4

its good but it needs more flow to it