i had to buy my own engagment ring and pay for the wedding and i feel i can do better but i love him to much... i deserve more i grew up in a house hold of being able to shop in nice stores and now im shopping at walmart cant get my hair done or nails and i dont know what to do? any help
2007-05-02 12:15:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go home to mommy and daddy. Next time don't marry beneath yourself.
2007-05-02 12:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he mistreating you or are you just used to having the finer things in life? If he is abusive I would tell you to get out of your relationship, but if it is just a matter of not being able to shop in the fancy stores you used to shop in I would have to say come on now. You need to take a step back and think about your finances. If you bought your engagement ring because you wanted a really expensive one he couldn't afford then shame on you, if you paid for a wedding that was over the top shame on you. Life is about more then getting your nails and hair done. I used to take really good care of myself, and every week I would pamper myself with getting manicures and pedicures, and then I had children, and I realized everything isn't about me, now I can't even buy anything for myself unless I absolutly need it, because I don't feel I am justified in doing so. My children and their father are my world, and their needs and wants are more important then mine. That is called selflessness. If you married a man for love then you need to love him even if you don't have a lot of money, if you married him for money then you need to get used to the idea of there being no love in your relationship. I understand that love does not make the world go around, but nails and hair and clothes are not considered necessities. These are definitely not grounds for a divorce. I am not judging you, I just think you need to take a step back for a minute and ask yourself what is more important, your love for this man, or the need for materialistic things.
2007-05-02 12:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew how he "was" when you married him. Take a look back and think why you married him. It sounds like you should have been out looking for the rich guy to enjoy the finer things. I'm one to tell you that the finer things are not what makes you happy. If you want to change the finances, get up, get a degree so that you can get the job that will supply the money for the finer things. I think that your being judgmental towards your husband because he isn't providing material things. Don't divorce over money. Hey girl nothing is wrong with Wal-Mart. They have everything. Why does it matter where you shop?
2007-05-02 12:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kev & Mandi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you thing you deserve anything?
People earn a living.
Your parents earned a living to give to their family, but from what you wrote I don't think they taught you much about character. My children who are 9 and 12 know more about character than you.
If you want a divorce go to a lawyer. I'm sure your mommy and daddy will be willing to pay for it.
However, if you want to grow up realize that there are only two needs in this world and they are food and shelter. Everything else is a "want".
If you chase after all your wants you will always be poor.
2007-05-02 12:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well don't see why you married him because any girl in the world would not pay for her engagemant ring much less for her wedding. SO if you love him your there to stay but the best thing for you to do is get a way as fast asyou can. Because if he isn't working, and your supporting him well he shoudl get off his butt and work. But since you love him oh well. What you need is a man who will spoil you and love, and respect you but you won't find none of that with him. So drop him liek a hot potatoe and move on.
2007-05-02 12:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel mistreated just because you are not getting the material things your parents gave you? If so, you have to ask yourself, if you married for love or money. Are you working too?
If not, get a job, so you can have some extra spending money.
I mean no disrespect to you, but to divorce him because of this seems pretty shallow to me. If I didn't have a DIME tommorrow, but I had somebody by me, supporting me, and loving me, I'd be happy, because there are some things money can never buy.
2007-05-02 12:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have thought about that before getting married. I know if I had to pay for the wedding by myself it would have never happened. If you are used to nicer things then maybe you should find someone who can better suit you.
2007-05-02 12:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUH if YOU bought your own engagement ring and paid for the wedding what makes you think this guy really WANTED to marry you? Sounds like you were a bit pushy in getting married to this guy and he only went along with it because you were paying. You put yourself in the place you are in YOU will have to get yourself out.
2007-05-02 12:24:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't "have" to do anything. You chose to do those things. And nobody cares what you think you deserve. You just generally get what you deserve in the end.
2007-05-02 12:20:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must have known that he wouldn't be able to keep up your lifestyle before you married him. you are not being mistreated.being unable to afford the things you were accustomed to prior to you marrying your husband does not constitute mistreatment. being verbally or physically abused does. count your lucky stars this is not the case!!
2007-05-02 12:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by leapyrangels 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋