i have a serious issue., i need to fix it, because its ruin my freaking life?

Question

COMPARING MY SELF WITH OHERS!! ALWAYS LOOK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER THAN ME!. i try hard to be on their level. sometimes i do it.sometimes i even get better than them. but sometimes i faild. when i fail that hurts a lot
but i realized that set a comptition with everybody i cant be the best. theres always someone whos better than me!!!!!!
ITS TURNING MY LIFE TO HELL!!! .. what is my issue here?
is it that i dont love myself(whatever that means) or im insecure? i dont think im insecure tho

nah,i just sometimes feel less than everybody if im not the richest,the cutes etc... in the group!!!

Answer 1

.....There's a big difference between trying to be better than other people and trying to be the best self you can be. Comparing yourself with others is the wrong path...it's a mistake, it's why you have issues.

I encourage you to rechannel your energy into being the best you that you can be, regardless of anyone else you know. There will always be people with more knowledge, skills, experience, intelligence, motivation, etc. So what? Do you play golf? Do you compare yourself to Tiger Woods? See how silly that is?

You have gone down the wrong path...turn back!!

Answer 2

If you really love your girlfriend then you should already know the answer...you should stay with the one you love no matter what. Yes it will be tuff, but nothing ever is easy if we truly want it. Even though the older sister may seem like a better choice, you can't help who you love. And if you go out with the older sister then you have no chance what so ever getting back with the younger one if things don't work out. Her mother sounds really screwed up by the way, no offense, but she does. If you two really Love eachother you will find a solution and/ or things will work out on thier own, it will just take some time. Why not try going out in a group with a bunch of friends and just have it be a big group date? Her mom wouldn't know the difference from just friends hanging out or a group date. Thats what I was doing when I wasn't allowed to date. Good Luck!!

Answer 3

You probably have a low self-confidence. It's hard to say what will fix your problem because I have no clue what would work for you. But, it may help to take some time and think about why you want to be like someone else. You may just have a problem with envy. You were created to be how you are, not how another is. If you severely need help with this problem, you could contact a counselor or therapist.

Answer 4

You have to let go of what other people do, and look at your own accomplishments, and do not try to compete with them. Make up a list of goals that you want in your life, and focus only on you. You are the most important thing in your life right now, so be happy with yourself, conquer your fears of failing, because you are not failing, and rise above the thoughts of have I failed. If you are doing the best you can do, what else can you want. You are you, and I am I , we are totally different, so you just have to recondition yourself, that you are doing a good job, and forget what someone else is doing. FOCUS on you, and you only.

Answer 5

Remember there is always a better person that yourself. I am glad you have that humility to accept it, and it is good. What is negative about it is that you tend to overgeneralized this. Of course you are also better than others. It is just maybe in those times which matters to you, they came prepared and give their all. While you are still battling with your confidence and perform fairly not best.
Keep it as a challenge, double your effort, put your heart into it and start feeding yourself with positive thoughts like I am better and i could perform well than others.

Answer 6

you're right. it's going to ruin your life but you're wrong when you say you're not insecure. why do you feel the need to be the best all the time? there's nothing wrong with a little competition in life nor, is there anything wrong with wanting to win sometimes but, when it becomes a constant competition with yourself or you take perfectionism to far, it can drive you nuts along with those around you. without losing, how can you appreciate winning? you need to learn that you are good at what you do even if it isn't the best.

Answer 7

You have no problem. I am in the military and I see this everywhere I look. There is absolutely no problem in trying to be the best at everything you do. It may seem like it is ruining your life, but it only feels that way when you don't feel like you have reached the top. How do you feel when you exceed everyone else? Pretty damn good huh? Keep trying... if the world was full of people like you, we wouldn't be having some of the problems we are today.

Answer 8

the best thing for you to do is to go for counselling. this is not already what we can say as a healthy assesment of the self.

and admit it or not, insecure is your issue. you have already developed an obssesion to become the best. but hey, wake up! out of the billion and billions of people around the world, there will and there will always be somebody better than you.

Answer 9

The fact that you believe that there are people out there who are better than you means you also feel there are people who aren't as good as you. Get over yourself. No one is better than you, and no one is worse than you. We are all just people, struggling to make it through. We all have problems, we all need love, we all need help. People don't exist in "levels" of who is better and who is worse. We all exist on the same level. Rather than continually promoting yourself, and creating competitions inside your head, focus your attention on helping others.

Answer 10

You are having an identity crisis. You also have an outer locus of control. That means you look for approval from others to validate yourself. Stop trying to compare yourself with others. It will just make you feel worse. Look inside, not out to find out who you are. Once you realize there is no "ideal" you will accept who you are and so will others. Just relax and try to find what makes you special. I guarantee it's there.