I have known this girl since middle school. We used to be really good friends, but kinda drifted apart when we each got married and had kids. We do still talk occasionally. She is married (has been since 96) and has 2 kids. My mom was eating at a restaurant @ 1 am and saw her husband there. He did speak to my mom and then sat @ his table. Then the waitress from the bar upstairs came down and sat next to him, rubbed his back. When she did this, he turned around to see if my mom saw him, which she didn't, but my mom's friend did. I don't know if this was a "Hi how are you?" rub in the back or what. But, my question is....should I call my friend and let her know? My may not talk to her very often, but I still care about her as my friend and don't want to see her get hurt. What should I do?
2007-05-02 11:07:41 · 17 answers · asked by Candy B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, don't call your friend and conclude things. first, you're not the one who saw him, second, you don't really know why the waitress did that. sure you love your friend and i understand, however, sometimes it's better if we don't get ourselves involved especially in marital things like that. you don't have a proof and by concluding things which you aren't sure of may break a wonderful marriage.
soon, if the guy is really cheating on her, she will find out. if she didn't, then maybe it's good for her. sometimes, we are in a situation where we want to step-in and help the ones we love. however, there are boundaries as to how much we can step-in. sadly, you cannot do anything right now but pray that what your mom saw was merely just nothing.
2007-05-02 11:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by pinkdot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh c'mon, you're considering stirring a bunch of sh1t because of something a mother's brother's cousin twice removed happened to catch a glimpse of? Back off! There was nothing in this situation to suggest "cheating". Small gestures of affection are often shared between friends - yes, even if friends are of the opposite sex. Stirring up trouble on such slim evidence would be disrespectful to your friend, and will make you look ridiculous. Chill.
2007-05-02 18:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be making anawfully large assumption to tell her he was cheating on her. You know what happens when we assume stuff right? You end up making an
"a$s" of "u" and "me".
You would do best to statyout of it, and hope that the situation was innocent. Keep in touch with her, and remain her friend. If he was/is cheating on her, she will need a good friend, but until then I suggest you keep your distance.
Think of the ramifications if you tell her what you saw, and it was innocent, but she decided to divorce him. Think of how you would be looked upon. If this does come to fruition, though, don't you dare say that you knew about this, because you really didn't have any concrete evidence......
2007-05-02 18:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stay out of it. If he is cheating, she'll eventually find out. She probably won't believe you if you say anything to her anyway. Just be there for her.
However, if she asks you a very direct question, be honest. However, in this case, YOU didn't see him with this waitress, your mother's friend did. And just because she rubbed his back doesn't mean they're having an affair. So, if she asks you if you've seen him with anyone, you can honestly say "no."
Good luck.
2007-05-02 18:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard questiong. As a good friend you might want to say something about it. You know just say that my mon saw you husband at resturaunt. She said she saw a girl come up and rub his back. Just say I thought it was nothing but just needed to tell you, b/c you are my friend. If you dont tell her and some how you get put in it she might get mad at you.
2007-05-02 18:19:25 · answer #5 · answered by Chris F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't say anything to your girlfriend. If you really feel you need to be involved talk directly to her husband. If you still get the vibe that he is cheating then give him 72 hours to tell his wife before you mention something to him. It could be a close and platonic friend. It could be his cousin. It could be his part time massage therapist. Don't jump to conclusions.
2007-05-02 18:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call her and mention that your mom spotted him so you thought you'd call to say hi. This way, you're mentioning the restaurant and if it seems odd to her that her husband was there, she'll ask more questions. You can then claim you know nothing, which you don't, and she can take it up with him if she thinks she needs to.
2007-05-02 18:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do is to mind your own business.
If it's really something to worry about it will manifest itself in another way in which you won't be the barer of bad news. Often time the messenger gets shot too!
2007-05-02 18:23:39 · answer #8 · answered by dan_phillips25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a situation VERY similiar to this and I know that if you say something and he isn't cheating you will be the bad guy, and if he is then it will actually be you who hurts her by bringing it to her attention, not him. Trust me, if she enjoys her life with him, leave it alone and let her enjoy it.
2007-05-02 18:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by VW Girl :o) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to keep it to yourself and do not let your friend know. She can most likely find out for herself if he is cheating on her. Afterall, since they are seen out in public then someone else will most likely let your friend know.
2007-05-02 18:16:55 · answer #10 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋