I had found a adult cd (XXX) that my husband has been hiding from me for quite awhile and recently I found that he got another one. I know it's normal and I'm not really mad but a bit upset he is hiding it from me.
It's also a bit damiging to my own ego considering I am now pregnant and don't excatly have a great deal of self esteam on my own body image.
Should I talk to him about it or should I just forget about it and be understanding that he is a human and has his own needs?
If I should talk to him about it how do I bring it up?
2007-05-02 09:32:44 · 20 answers · asked by flygrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is just letting off some sexual steam, no big deal, with you being pregnant hes not turned off just worried about the baby...there is nothing to be upset about and dont embarass him by telling him u know
2007-05-02 09:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by debbie v 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that there are women that feel the same way you do about their men watching these videos, but honestly if it were me I would sit down next to him on couch or bed and put the cd in so we could watch it together. : ) But since that doesn't sound like something your interested in doing, I would just let it go. I pesonally wouldn't get offended about it because it is just a video and as long as it isn't underage people in the video then it is normal and really no big deal. If you feel you must ask him about it then just simply wait till your alone and tell him that you came across these cds when you were cleaning and just wanted to make sure that your relationship was secure because it made you feel a little insecure. But truthfully, don't worry. Its not a big deal and if you were a super model he would still watch these video's every now and then. Its fun and healthy to keep sex life interesting.
2007-05-02 09:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by misbotta 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is somewhat "normal" whatever that is lol. But also let him know that had he have not hidden it from you it wouldn't have hurt as much as it did when you found it. Honesty is the key to every relationship and I hope he doesn't kinda blow the trust issue on some porn. Had he have just approached you and said he bought some porn, or even said that he wanted to get some ideas or something to that effect you wouldn't have your guard up now and I am sure you are looking for more. I just think it is rotten that they almost insult your intelligence like you aren't gonna find it in your own home lol. I am a very trustworthy person, I know my boyfriend watches porn, but that doesn't bother me because he is with me, not one of those women so that really says something for me. Take care and good luck. By the way I am pregnant as well :D
2007-05-02 09:45:32 · answer #3 · answered by angeleyes818 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have, desires, want things, like to feel gratification, and above all like to feel important. ( please email, I would love to know if your are not in NEED of any of these.) Your husband no doubt has priorities , and may even feel , considering your pregnancy left out . His self esteem may need , some deposits" from you." When I was in 25-30 bracket, if I looked at a PLAYBOY mag I was a sex maniac , now in 55-60 I'm a dirty old man, its a no win , but still have the wants desires and needs etc. If people are showing you all the interest now you are preganant ,is it possible he feels left out.? Have you thought to suggest to him to buy some CD's, to watch TOGETHER, he may say, I already have some , give the opportunity to save face . He will defend himself, if you say you found them , the other way,he might just admit what he is doing. Best of luck with your BABY!!.
2007-05-02 12:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by deedubya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ignore it. For many years, women ignored their husbands stash of XXX movies. I didn't and I've been married for over 20+ years. Infact, I went out and bought my husband a whole set (10ea) for Valentines Day 2007.
I'm not the least concerned about what's done on those videos because I make sure he's fine in every way.
2007-05-02 09:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that you are upset b/c he hid it, but I had a similar problem b4 where my spouse became addicted to them b/c while I was pregnant. We couldnt have sex due to some risk of premature labor. So we went from 2 or 3 times a day to nothing at all for almost a year. I think you should talk to him and if you are ok w/it then say hey its ok but just dont hide them like he is hiding them from a child.
2007-05-02 09:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by daprty1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him, bring it up so that you can control it but support him. Say it is ok, just don't hide it. Watch some with him, even if you don't like it much. If not it will go futher underground and you will never know what is going on. Keep it up front and open.
2007-05-02 09:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, bring it up. Let him know that you found it. Let him know that you're not too upset about it, but let him know that you are a little insecure right now. Listen.
If he knows you're not overly freaked it will make him feel better. If you wouldn't be turned off by it, you may consider watching them with him. It will definitely lead to some extracurricular activity.
2007-05-02 09:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its just an innocent thing, so dont worry about it. I would casually bring it up that you found them, and then discuss how it makes you feel with him. Dont hold it in though, that is unhealthy for you and your baby. Just to let you know too, pregnant is beautiful. I am so envious when I see pregnant women because they are absolutely radient and thats how you should feel. :)
2007-05-02 09:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Irish Cat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might want to mention that you've always been curious to watch one with him and see if he breaks it out.
Otherwise, if it bothers you talk to him. Just tell him you found it and you're not condemning him but your curious as to why he feels he needs it.
If it doesn't bother you, then leave it be. It's probably no big deal.
2007-05-02 09:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by nailgal2005 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋