My husband, who is 36 yrs old, lost his mom to cancer last September. A few months after that his older sister stopped talking to him, his dad and their younger sister. A month ago, my husband lost his job. The good news is, he is going back to work with a company he worked at a few years ago - but he has been depressed and I know he is thinking more and more about his lack of family right now. Is there anything I can do to help him? I feel so bad for him and I want him to get happy again soon.
2007-05-02 08:11:42 · 11 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are not going to be able to replace his mom, but you are going to have to be (mom & wife) for awhile. Comfort, care, and a lot of hugs. Don't worry about the rest of his family, they'll come around, it just takes time and a whole lotta love.
2007-05-02 08:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by larry m♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is 41, and he lost his step-dad of 25 years in Feb. He doesn't talk about it, but I know it hurts him. I posed the same question you asked to my father, who lost his dad last July. My father told me to just be there for him. Don't push, don't try to make him talk about it. Grief is not something very many people handle very well, and men are especially prone to hide their feelings. The helpless feeling and pain are two things almost every man tries hard to avoid their entire lives. To admit that they are in pain can sometimes make them feel less manly. Let him know you are hurting for him.
My husband let me know that the fact that I needed him was what got him through the first couple of months. He really needs to be needed. Being strong for me and our kids gave him a reason not to break down and let the pain overtake him. You are the one person in the world who knows your husband best. Just ask him, "Honey, how is the best way I can help you right now?" Listen to what he says. Everyone grieves differently. Pray for him. My heart goes out to you all. God Bless.
2007-05-02 15:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by 6angelsmama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is give him all the love and support that he needs and more. Tell him about the positive sides of not having them in the case of my mom who was suffering it would have been selfish of me to want her here when she would be in so much pain and now that she is gone i know she is not hurting anymore and i think of all the good times. As for the sister just pray for her.
2007-05-02 15:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by Fern S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there with him. There may not be much you can do to help, but comfort and affection always help. Listen if he wants to talk, but don't push him to talk; just ask how he's feeling. He'll talk to you when he's ready. If you feel you must do something, maybe call the older sister and just talk with her like normal. See if she wants to talk with you as an outsider. Good luck.
2007-05-02 15:18:31 · answer #4 · answered by John R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not call anyone up and try to patch things for him. Just be supportive, an caring shoulder, and try to understand sometimes he's just going to be down.
If HE decides to reach out, then encourage it but do not try to make that decision for him. Keep him active and just be a good partner.
2007-05-02 15:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for him and bring your family in as well to make him feel like he belongs to something big.
2007-05-02 20:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time. may be the new job may help out a lot. just be at his side when he needs you
2007-05-02 15:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he has just the family he needs: you
just be there. physically in the same room. that is all you can do. but that is alot
2007-05-02 15:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by killa' fo' real 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for him, always tell or show him how happy you are to have hom in ur life!
good luck
2007-05-02 15:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Zolyshka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is show him how much you care about him and that you are there for him.
2007-05-02 15:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by Ultimate Guitar Hero! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋