My husband said is going to leave me if I dont find a job before the end of the month. I have been looking so hard for a job past two months. Why is he acting so much on this and he also does not give me any affection that much anymore. I just dont know what to think about all this..
2007-05-02 06:56:34 · 17 answers · asked by katelynn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is probably swamped with bills. help him out. find ANY job until you find a full time. state jobs are always hiring
2007-05-02 07:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny F 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don’t know your full situation but I find that a lame excuse to leave someone. Ask him to help you.. get him to look over your resume… Have you been home for awhile because of kids?
Some of these answers are pretty lame too and really haven’t thought it out before answering…..Some areas don’t have hundreds of jobs sitting there waiting for you. A lot of these lower paying jobs are just not worth it either, the cost to get there and back gets eaten quickly. That is no way to save to help pay the dam bills.. good lord… Finding a half decedent job is hard dam it.. Even if your resume is up to snuff… people who can see it as competition.. I know I moved from the city to a small town.. One look at my resume and they saw themselves out of a job. Way too over qualified and my trade isn’t here …
He is upset because he is feeling the strain of the bills pilling up and not being able to have a bit of spending money. Money is a route of all evil at times. Most men don’t act this way unless they are for the first time in there lives being the responsible one. After all this is a marriage not a blasted fling where he needs to support you to get action.
If you have too take a lower type of job until the right one does come your way.. just so there isn’t so much stress being put on you and him. Then he still complains after your working.. Then there is a much larger issue at hand.
2007-05-02 07:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is just not interested in being married to you anymore and he's looking for an excuse to end the marriage. Not to sound cold-hearted or anything, but sometimes people who are unhappy in their relationship will pick something to blame it on, so that they can end the relationship.
He knows that you have been looking, right? I would straight out ask him if this is about you finding a job or is there more to his unhappiness. The fact that he's no longer affectionate is a troubling sign too.
As tough as it would be to hear, wouldn't you rather know the truth? And you're not a charity case. Why be with someone who doesn't seem to be truly committed to you?
Good luck...and hang in there. If you can feel sad, then you can feel happy!
2007-05-02 07:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by noworries562 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
check for some government jobs. i understand needing some help, but that is really not cool. still, if he's threatening to leave you, you need to get a job anyway because jeez. what are you gonna do when he's gone? lady, go to the mall or SOMETHING. just apply everywhere. once you already have a job (even if it's retail) it will be much easier for you to find another job somewhere else. and if you have energy, be a server. if you're charming you can make some decent cash until you can find a real job. help out with the bills, but save up some emergency money too. make a nice resume.
2007-05-02 07:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by Manda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to be more specific. Like why do you need to work? Is his income not enough to live on? Can you trim back your expenses somewhere? Do you have kids? What kind of job does he have? Are you swamped with bills?
I, for one, do not believe that you need to have two incomes in a household, so long as the husband has a good paying job, and you learn how to budget your expenses, and not feel like you have to have the "best" or keep up with the "Jones". See if you can find out why he really wants you to work? I know a lot of men want their wives to work so they don't have to.
As for his lack of affection, burning anger will drive you apart. Before you start burning back, find out what's really going on below the surface.
2007-05-02 07:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by sharbsmith 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He probably was looking to marry someone who would help out equally and enjoy the luxuries of life. With you not working he may not be able to keep up with the lifestyles that he imagined and has seen it as somewhat of a burden... Even if you can only pay light and gas or telephone or whatever, it's ONE less bill that he would have to worry about... It is stressful even when you have 2 working people imagine just one supporting 2!
2007-05-02 07:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by Please help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is the lack of affection a result of unemployment? if he's already having doubts about the marriage, not working could be an excuse to get out. however, if he's been asking you to help him with expenses for a while and you haven't responded, maybe its too little too late. if you really need a job, get a job at the supermarket mopping the floor if you have to
2007-05-02 07:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't you think working would be better for your own self-esteem not just your marriage? Being dependent on someone who obviously needs your help with contributing to your life together is not his fault. It is not the old days anymore. Relationships works equally from man and woman. Maybe it's time you put your part in.
2007-05-02 07:20:23 · answer #8 · answered by Daniyells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its wrong to threaten to leave a marriage, but how long have you been unemployed? He's probably at his wits end! You can get a job right now if you want--any mall or reastaurant is hiring--that will at least hold you until you can find something more suitable.
2007-05-02 07:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is frustrated and fed up. I think you should put an ad out online that you are looking for a job. I think on the computer it would be alot easier than going out and picking up applications. Just don't give up. Good luck.
2007-05-02 07:12:20 · answer #10 · answered by friendlygrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on how he feels how many hours does he work ? When was the last time you worked? Do you have kids? He may feel you are doing nothing and he has to work and everything else? Go to your Dept. of Labor.and have them help you find a job.Good Luck if you need someone to talk to you can e-mail me. Peace
2007-05-02 07:03:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋