divorced woman who has two children? I'm 38, he's 36. He's never been married and does not have children. He knows about my situation. I really like him but am being cautious. I don't want to ask him where the relationship is heading because it's only been a few weeks. When is a good time to talk about it or should I just be patient and see what happens?
2007-05-02 06:47:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are 38 and he is 36, hence both adults. If the relationship develops more seriously then you both need to be realistic about what that will entail.
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2007-05-02 06:52:17 · answer #1 · answered by fitzovich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you said guys- but this caught my eye. Why do you have to get answers to where the relationhip is going already? You said it was only a few weeks that you have been seeing him. Just relax and take it slow. You have not only yourself to be considered -but your children also. You need time to see how they all get along together. You need to be sure that he is the kind of man that you would want to be near your children all of the time. You may not like the way he interacts with your children or treats them. You have every right to be cautious because it is a package deal - you and your children. Take it from someone who has been there- alot of times you will find yourself defending your children if he makes even the smallest comment. It can sometimes become a mess. GO SLOW!!!!! You all have to work on this together.
2007-05-02 14:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah, slow down girl! A few weeks? Give it a few months! Get to know each other. Allow yourself the pleasure of getting close to him. Get into his head in casual conversation as you go along. Find out his likes, dislikes, politics, everything. Share the same about yourself. Once you think you know him well, then move to that next step. Cautious is good, but take it as it comes. A good friend once told me everything happens for a reason. I believe it. Get in that "car" and take it for a ride. It just might take you somewhere good if you just allow it.
2007-05-02 20:20:37 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him on a day out with the kids and see how he deals with them. Two weeks is kind of a little early to be thinking serious relationship. Let the relationship grow first, I know you might feel like you're getting old but you don't want to rush into things.
2007-05-02 13:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by aj_squaredaway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is a good time to make your intentions known.
If you are looking to get married, you need to be upfront about it.
The longer this goes on without clarity the longer you and the kids will have to get atttached only to be disappointed later.
Tell him what you want and expect and if he's the right one he will accept the kids and you two will be able to plan for a future together.
And if not, it better to cut your loses early than deal with the pain later.
2007-05-02 13:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where's your head? You said yourself, it's only been a few weeks!! Why are you even THINKING of where it's going??? Your children need you to take your time in getting involved with men! They've already been through a divorce and they don't need to be dragged through every realtionship you have! You need to slow way down!!!
2007-05-02 13:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait and see how things go between the 2 of you first. I am in a similar situation and my boyfriend is the one who has the kids and we seen how him and i were first and then after a few wekes introduced me to the kids to see how I would interact with them. My point is get to know him first and see how he feels. Have an open converstion with him.Good luck
2007-05-02 13:59:28 · answer #7 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him set the tempo- at least early on. If you spring it on him too quickly, you will scare him off. If you've been dating for a few months and you still don't know, then you should bring it up. But, for the first few months, just let it ride and try to enjoy it for what it is without putting too much into it.
2007-05-02 13:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by wizbangs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient girlfriend. He may not be all that for you after a few months go by or visa versa. Just wait and see and let things happen naturally.
2007-05-02 13:51:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give it a month or two, but then you really need to be upfront with him. You don't want your children getting attached to someone who has no intention of being around in their lives -- you really do have to think of their own mental well-being before your own, or his. So before he starts spending a lot of time with them, make sure they're not going to get hurt.
2007-05-02 13:53:32 · answer #10 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋