she found this man on line. and now she wount talk to me about anything and i am stuck with all the bills and she didnt work before and i cant stand this anymore she was talking to the man on line from 8am to2pm m to fri when i was at work
2007-05-02 06:45:17 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She needs to go and live with him, let him pay her bills. to hell with that.
2007-05-02 06:49:10 · answer #1 · answered by Sethco 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Obviously this guy is fulfilling a need that you're not taking care of. Being a woman, I'd have to say that you haven't been taking care of something she needs...probably emotional encouragement.
Also being a woman, I'd have to say that you not doing anything about it just invites her to not respect you as a man, and has her husband.
First, take a stand. Tell her that she is emotionally cheating on you with this man and you'll not stand for it any more. Tell her to break it off with him, or you'll do it for her.
Second, get rid of the phone (s). If they guy wants to talk to her so badly, he should have to be making the phone calls! (not that I think it's appropriate at all).
Third, get rid of the computer, or get a tracking program to make sure she isn't still chatting with the guy on-line.
Fourth, set up a counseling session for the two of you, and make a plan to keep going to counseling, whether she wants to or not.
Fifth, start supporting her emotionally again. Be romantic, spend more time with her.
If all else fails, threaten divorce. I would never talk to another man for more than five MINUTES on the phone! If I did, I'd have to worry that there was something wrong with the picture. Obviously, that's what you believe, too.
Get some help, because it doesn't sound like things are going to get better over night.
2007-05-02 07:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by sharbsmith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK Dude, I've looked at the questions that you have been asking - if this is the same woman you have been with for 10 years, you have kids, she has left you but returned - I'd say she really wants out of this marriage and you are living in a fantasy world. She needs to get a grip on reality too, but since she won't go to counseling maybe it is time to move on. She doesn't work and will need to jump right in with another guy to support her - she found that in the 3000 min phone guy - now she can move on. Expect a call from her attorney for support - so protect yourself by seeing one first.
2007-05-02 07:00:25 · answer #3 · answered by justwondering 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask myself what led up to this? I do not think out of the blue she just started talking to this guy. Did she get the attention from you or did you go to work come home ignore her and go to bed? Is it that she has no girl friends, job, or hobbies and has to much time on her hands? I think you need to work on your marriage as this sounds like you had problems before the phone bills.
2007-05-02 06:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Can you imagine how many minutes she has been on this man! You know that they are doing it....Big Time!
Leave the cheating liar!
Talk to her nicely and confront her. She has a lot of other issues that are letting her think it's ok to cheat. If she gets mad and defensive take all your evidence (Keep Track) and see a divorce lawyer. By the way, get the phone turned off on the way to the Lawyer!
2007-05-02 06:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by db14 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the internet, get rid of the cell phone get rid of your home phone. Easy enough. If she wants to run up phone bills then let her get a job and pay for them. STand up for yourself. You have a cell phone for emergency . You can give her a cell phone with limited minutes.
I will give her a choice it was him or me. Tell her to get out and move on with your life . She is cheating on you and once a cheater always a cheater. I wasted my life with a man for 37 years and he cheated so many times . I know of 4 and I am now told there were many many more that I did not know about. You deserve better.
2007-05-02 06:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her why she's talking to him so much. Ask her if there is something he provides (conversationally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.) that you don't. Ask her if she would like to work with you so that you can build a relationship whereby you fulfill more of each others needs. If she is unwilling, ask her why not, and ask her how she views your relationship in the context of this new person.
DO NOT stress about the cost, do not bring it into the discussion. The money is irrelevant--you can always get more of that. You need to find out whether you and your wife can and want to continue and improve your relationship. A money discussion will only distract from the deeper issues.
2007-05-02 06:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by Qwyrx 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you're the one working, sounds like you have all the power. Cut off the phone. If she complains, threatens, and throws a fit, tell her to get a job and get her own phone. If she is bold enough to take you up on your offer, she'll be too busy working for that phone to have time to talk to anyone. End of story.
2007-05-02 06:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by J Dubble 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
turn off the phone and get yourself a cell phone so only you can use it. don't give her the number so when you guys get a divorce she won't bother you. if you do decide to get a divorce keep a record of those phone calls and use that in court. if she rather talk to this guy and not you then you really don't need her.
2007-05-02 07:01:07 · answer #9 · answered by friendlygrr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is talking to him because there is a problem in your relationship. The problem could be she feels somewhat neglected by you, or she feels like you take her for granted. Treat her like you did in the first few months of your relationship, and I bet she stops talking to the dude. I'm not saying she is right for what she's doing, SHE'S WRONG, but something drove her to this point, and it was probably YOU (no offense intended, just been through this myself). Good luck to you.
2007-05-02 06:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by iPokeBoyzWithStickz 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's involved in an emotional on line affair.
Your marriage is in deep trouble.
You need to cut off her phone and passcode the computer until you can get to the bottom of all of this
2007-05-02 06:51:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋