my mother is afraid that i will be mad at her for devorcing her husband...my stepdad...i am not...how do i show her this withouth being straight with her? I relly want her to know that i support her very mch and will love her no matter what
2007-05-02 05:41:54 · 7 answers · asked by grrrr. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also...she says that she thinks i wont have a great life beause of the lack of money we will have trying to afford a place to life...my sweet 16 is coming p...how do i deal with that?
2007-05-02 06:02:36 · update #1
It sounds like you can be straight with her and not be confrontational about it. "I know you aren't happy in this marriage and if you want to leave him, I'l support you"....this way she knows you're serious and can see you aren't going to judge her etc....you don't have to use that wording, but something along those lines =)
2007-05-02 05:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything here sounds good so far, but we all know that actions speak louder than words.
So, SHOW her what you mean-
logic says that if you've stood by her while she stayed in an unhappy marriage- which, hello, our younger generations value knowing better!- then obviously you'll stand by her when she improves her life.
OK, that's still putting a lot of spin on it-
but people believe what they've experienced much more than what you say.
And if she's experienced your love no matter what in the past, then she'll actually believe you when you say it this time!
Now, the other issue that comes to my mind is- are there finances involved?
Is she afraid that if she gets divorced, she might end up burdening you later, and that it might change how you feel?
You two seem to not "be straight" with each other (well, I know all about that in my English-American background...), so I wonder what concerns she's not expressing.
You might want to just come out and address that issue, and tell ehr that no matter what arrangements you have to make, or arguments you might have, she is better off with her daughter than with some man.
Good luck!
2007-05-02 12:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you not want to be 'straight' with her?
Anyway, write her a note tellinig her exactly what you told us: "I relly want her to know that i support her very mch and will love her no matter what ."
2007-05-02 12:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try taking her to lunch one day. And while you two are out, let her know how you feel. Divorce is hard. She will need all the support she can get from you. Been there, done that. Just be straight with her, beating around the bush really doesn't help at all. I hope things work out for you and your mom.
2007-05-02 12:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by FR33FALL79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write her a heartfelt letter, and leave it for her before you go somewhere. Just tell her that you realize sometimes things happen, and things don't work out for people, and that you love her and will be there for her no matter what, and want her to do whatever she has to do for her.
2007-05-02 12:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just what you said here: 'cept remove 'will'
"i support her very mch and WILL love her no matter what"
2007-05-02 12:47:08 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you love her and support her, whatever her decision is.
2007-05-02 12:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by hellolacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋