I am separated from my husband and it is breaking my heart right now that we are having so much trouble trying to get things working again.....he is the love of my life - and I his - yet we're on the verge of a divorce. I guess the saying, "sometimes love just ain't enough" is the truth....and you know what? The truth does hurt. Any advice?
2007-05-02 05:20:51 · 17 answers · asked by Virgo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We're just not seeing eye-to-eye on some of our issues and he ends up getting frustrated and then the whole conversation becomes this type of thing: "So you're saying you want a divorce?! "No, I'm saying we need to work out our issues, but I don't see how we're going to if we don't work together on this (it's almost like I must solve everything)." And it bounces back and forth to being together and being apart.....and both of us being miserable without each other.... I'm sure you all want to know the nitty-gritty---I wouldn't know where to begin here...but it boils down to him being off work and I'm supporting the family right now--he's depressed & hates this...but I have the college degrees....but he's feeling inadequate about all of this and then inadvertantly takes it all out on me....I can deal with this to an extent because I know he's just in a down mode....I know we love each other, but life is getting us down....I want to make it work & he says he does...but I'm not so sure.
2007-05-02 05:40:37 · update #1
Sometimes a lot lately in fact. We just have to keep trying and hope that in the end things work out.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-02 05:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by BLADE 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
With any relationship it takes a lot of work and you both have to be on the same page and willing to change. Although you may not agree on all issues, there has to be some kind of understanding and compromise (agree to disagree). Some changes need to be made now and some can be worked on later.
If you have both, given it an honest try and you just can't move past it, then it is reasonable to end the relationship and find a more compatible person. Although your heart is breaking, time has a way of healing a broken heart. There is no use staying in a relationship when your heart and your brain aren't together on it. Listen to your brain, it's the only thing that will tell you the honest truth.
2007-05-02 05:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So, you see where the problem is - that he's feeling inadequate in his life. Are you working together to help him be happy & fulfilled again? He doesn't have to rely on an employer to do this for him - the feeling of being in control of his own life can come from within himself. So, he doesn't have a job, can't find one & it wouldn't be smart to move somewhere where he could find a job right now --- what *else* can he be doing, then, to feel like he's doing something worthwhile with his time? Volunteer work? College or studying for a new career? Fixing up the house?
If he's feeling depressed, he might want to see a counselor who can help him.
If you love each other, you'll try to understand each other's point of view, respect each other as individuals & work together towards happiness for both of you.
2007-05-02 05:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of that's a good question and that i've got blended thoughts approximately it. whether Ive in no way been in this actual project i think of I certainly have a narrative thats comparable. i replaced into courting a woman for an prolonged time fairly good courting i think of. whether over the years as we've been given further and extra accustom to one yet another the preliminary "spark" replaced into long gone. We have been nonetheless a brilliant couple and all yet no longer as romantic and all that as we was. Or it fairly is until I left for college course. After being far flung from her for a on an identical time as i found out how plenty i ignored her and gained an appreciation for the little issues i assume I took with none attention. as quickly as I have been given abode it replaced into like day one back and he or she observed it in a brilliant way. factor is whether or no longer the sensation won't be right this moment glaring there probable nonetheless there and the drawing close doom of the divorce probable reminded the two one among you. whether on an identical time do you need to call it off with time human beings can tend to fall back into their previous selves and you will finally end up being interior an identical place you at the instant are. additionally particularly some those "feeling" would desire to in basic terms be brought about via the phobia of coming up a brilliant existence changing determination like this and a loss of understanding what else is obtainable. So its a judgment call however in my opinion I certainly tend to assert that dealing with with the divorce could be suited as thats a process action you probable didnt take gently so i'm assuming you have some distinctly good motives for it.
2017-01-09 07:53:46 · answer #4 · answered by laseter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any type of break up is hard, but when you marry the man that you believe you're suppose to build a future with and it comes to an end it's the hardest thing to deal with. I think that you should try to be strong and don't listen to those on the outside looking in giving you advice that you can't really use. Try to suggest going to counseling and work through some problems, but it must be something you both are fully willing to open up to get back the love that got lost along the way.
2007-05-02 05:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by beatyful 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is sheer nonsense! You don't need a divorce, you need a councelor....you two have the biggy going for you..so get over the bull crap and get on with life. You are both being childish as hell. There is nothing romantic about lost true love...NOTHING! I don't care what movies you are watching, you are playing out a Lifetime chic flick in your head, and it is a grade B movie, at that. Get your butts in gear and get over the petty stuff..that is what it is ... petty daily routine crap that can be settled with compromise. Everyone should have your problems. Where in the world are you two's heads?
2007-05-02 05:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm separated right now too and on the verge of a divorce, so i know completely what you are feeling and it is very painful
i was mislead for years into thinking that my husband "loved" me, but the relationship was abusive and toxic. i would assess the relationship based on the true definition of love = love is patient, love is kind...etc....
try to objectively look at the relationship to determine if it is truly love, on both sides, or is it just an emotional dependency?
did the relationship build you up? or tear you down?
is he your best friend?
do you feel safe, secure, comfortable, and happy around him
are you free to be yourself around him?
just a few things to think about
good luck
2007-05-02 05:35:46 · answer #7 · answered by philly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I love you means not having to say your sorry. One of you just is not in love anymore and I know it hurts but it takes two to tango and one of you has left the dance floor. Look deep into your heart and ask yourself if you truly love him and have him do the same. Stay friends and maybe your time apart will make you long for each other.
2007-05-02 05:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean and I agree Love is not enough. I am going through something similar. You might want to try couseling. It helps so much to talk when someone else is there as a sounding board!I hope you can find a way! Good Luck!
2007-05-02 05:29:12 · answer #9 · answered by irish_pixie23 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope. I dont think divorce is the answer. People give up too easily. Hang on to those you love. Work it out. Take a vacation.
2007-05-02 05:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by Kari R 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋