I need an outsider presective on my relationship. Here it is in a nut shell....ready?! I have been with my bf on off for about three years after my divorce. We meet while I was pregnant, and lived together for almost 2 yrs, then when my daughter was born and around 6 mo, we had issues seperated, and I started dating my daughters father. ( I have two kids prior marriage) and my youngest from ex. So me and her dad start dating for around 9 mo and we break up, due to his temper, and drug use. Then a while down the road I start seeing my bf again he moves in with me. tells me he loves my kids, and they need him and we can just be friends, because after my ex and I broke up there was physical violance. So now I am with my bf and all we do is fight. He is constantly accusing me of sleeping with someone else, or telling me I am crazy if I want to leave him. He tries to tell me I am not normal because I wont give him what he wants...which is sex everyday, even tho I take care of three kids..
2007-05-02 04:58:38 · 18 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and I recently found out I was prego with him and he is telling me when we fight get an abortion I dont want to have a kid with you. then in the next breath when I try to leave he does NOT apolgize but tells me its my fault for getting him so mad, and he didnt mean it. He constantly tells me there is something wrong with me. Can you work through something like this in a relationship, or is it time to call it quits. He tells me becaucse I am prego i should try to work out with him. Should I? I am tired of fighting but I dont want to make a mistake leaving him. When times are good there GOOD, but when there BAD oh god duck and cover.
2007-05-02 05:01:32 · update #1
he tells me he loves me and know one will eveve me love me lkike him , thats why he stays cause he hopes I ll get normal.
2007-05-02 05:02:37 · update #2
n my bf is not absuing drugs, an he in reality wants a baby girl. He lost his first born the mom didnt tell him and he found out when she was 4 yrs old, he has a 11 yr old son who lives with the mom , and he has always wanted a girl.
2007-05-02 05:19:56 · update #3
I am 23 he is 39
2007-05-02 05:20:32 · update #4
you are with a guy who is trying to control you, it will get worse as time goes by...there is nothing you will be able to do well enough. He has serious image and security issues that are beyond your help. If you were wise, and if you value your child's safety, I suggest running to the nearest exit. This one is not for you. If you stay with him, you will be wasting serious time you will never have back. Please do not think he is going to change, he is not. He will never trust you, he will always invent reasons, places, times...when you have stepped out on him. It could well be that he is playing around and therefore does not trust you...that is often the case. Regardless, you have no future with this person (I avoid the term, 'man' intentionally) Surely you can do better in life than this...hell, being alone is better than this, and the happiest people I know are alone. Good luck
2007-05-02 05:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM NOW. Call the cops and tell them the situation. You don't have to press charges, but you may need that police report later. This is to protect yourself in the furture.
He is using you and abusing you. You do not deserve this crap. He is the one who isn't normal. If you fear he will be violent with yor child after it is born, then deny him visitation rights, that is where the police report comes in handy.
You may want to stay away from men for a while. It sounds like you are just hooking up with whoever, whenever. And I am not being judgmental. Take some time for yourself. Rediscover who you are. And if you get with another guy in the future, use birthcontrol.
2007-05-02 05:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Lex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Crikeys, the mess we get ourselves into in the name of security (love). Take leave of this relationship hun n seek some outside help from friend, parent or welfare officer, womans help organisation, what ever u can find. This so called relationship can only end in disaster, or worse. For your sake n the sake of your kids seek some professional help immediately. I think u are confusing luv n security n mistakingly seeking the company of this man as being both, in reality he is neither. The future is a long time n u will in the future find a real man
2007-05-03 07:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by supertadpole999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, sweetheart I don,t understand what,s so hard about your decision, to get out of this relationship, because I can not see anywhere that this young man really loves you or your children. If you have girls, they will think that that is how women should be treated, if you have boys, they will think that that is how you treat girls and that,s not cool. And you can not care too much about yourself, think about it, why would you want to be with anybody that would call you crazy, which maybe you are if you stay with his butt. Who,s more important in your life your children or this nut? I just cannot understand why women think that they need a man in their life,no matter how he,s treating them, if you don,t respect yourself no one will. Ask yourself, if one of your close Friends had this problem what would you tell her from your heart. And if he,s always accusing you of fooling around that,s what he,s doing i,ll bet anything on that, anytime anybody does that, their cheating.If you don,t get out of this relationship for yourself do it for your children. The only man that i would stay with that would treat me like that would be Donald Trump, but a broke azz man I don,t think so,for what, just to say you have a man. And what,s up with all this living with men around your children,STOP that please. All it seems to me that all you are to him is a piece of azz, is that all you want to be is a piece of azz?
2007-05-02 05:58:47 · answer #4 · answered by msann601 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes relationships can be fixed BUT before that can be done, both parties must want to fix it and as well, you must examine yourself to see how you contribute to the relationships demise. That isn't always easy for people. To take an honest look at yourself. To see your faults and admit them. Embracing them helps you to fix them, to change. It is a lot of work to change behaviours that have been a part of your personality for a long time.
So, think about that, then speak with your partner about it, then take it from there to a relationship counsellor. Good luck.
2007-05-02 05:07:00 · answer #5 · answered by C P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you have a lot on your plate and my first suggestion would be to make sure you take care of yourself and your children, you didnt say if your bf is a heavy drinker or why he is always fighting with you. I think you need to do some soulsearching and figure out what it is you need to live a happy life by youself and without drama, you owe it to you and the kids.
Remember you can do bad all by yourself!
2007-05-02 05:07:58 · answer #6 · answered by Doctor feel good 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a loser -and you are one too, for believing all the crap he's been telling you.
I would say go to counseling or get therapy, but I know you wouldn't even consider it.... Shame...
People like you shouldn't be allowed to have children at all.
Those children are the only innocent ones in this drama.
I feel so sorry for them! They will be taught that this kind of life is OK and when they are older they will repeat this same sick pattern. No wonder the world is so full of problems!
2007-05-02 05:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is manipulating you. It takes two to argue and yet, he constantly blames you for every little thing.
If you really want this relationship to work, you'll both need to talk this through...have a third person to act as mediator though.
This much mental abuse and fighting is not good for anyone, especially your children.
2007-05-02 05:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whhooaaa....... you dont need an outside an opinion.... you need to be packing this guy's things and kicking him the hell out of your house. you do not need to be subjecting yourself, nor your kids, to this kind of person. pack all his crap and put it outside or have it delivered to his work and call the local police station and get a criminal trespass notice against him. it wont allow him on or near your property, and if he breaks it, he goes to jail.
this may seem a little drastic, but when it comes to a guy like that you may have to be. guys like this get worse over time, and the yelling most always turns into physical violence.
2007-05-02 05:07:01 · answer #9 · answered by Stevie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of your guys are manipulators and abusers, you seem to dwell in the land of abuse. Why don't you try living in the greener pastures of self respect and freedom. It may be hard to get there at first, but both you and your children will be happier and safer. You grew up in a household of abuse and continue to dwell there with your partners. Talk to formerly abused women who now have non-abusive partners and learn from them how to live in a non-abusive environment.
2007-05-02 05:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by whats.the.deal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋