I have three kids and my husband and I obviously don't feel the way we used to, I miss the old us sooo much we had so much in common, and we never fought, we still love eachother but not the same way. Now we fight everyday literally which is odd considering we both hate to argue. I don't get it we are still so young I am 20 he is 24 what happened, how can two people change so much over the course of 3 years, Help........ I don't want my marraige to fall apart.
2007-05-02 04:27:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get away for the weekend. Change the routine, do things different in bed. Try something new. Both of you are way to young to feel this way. But most of all talk to him and let him know how you feel.
2007-05-02 04:34:03 · answer #1 · answered by alwayintosomething 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happens to all marriages. You were both way to young to get married and have 3 kids this fast. He might be thinking hes wasted his life, or he messed up. Ask him if he wants the marriage to work, then plan to do some of the things you both use to enjoy doing. If you can find a babysitter try to plan a weekend get away. Most 20-24 year olds dont have a lot of money so you might need to put some thought into it. You need to try and remember what you both did 4 years ago that didnt need any or much money. Even if you need a tent its still a little get away.
2007-05-02 04:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by letthepartybeginnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change a lot in their early 20s even without children and marriage, so OF COURSE things seem different now. The best move would have been to wait to get married and have kids until you both had grown and developed as mature individuals, but it's too late now so let's see how you can change the situation you're in.
You guys are fighting and arguing because you're allowing yourselves to fight and argue. It takes two to fight - if he says something snarky and you say something sweet back (not in a sarcastic way), then the fight dissolves instead of boiling over. You both need to focus on the fact that you NEED to provide a positive home environment for your children. Even if it means you have to fake it in front of them. That is the most mature thing you can do right now.
2007-05-02 04:43:25 · answer #3 · answered by Christina T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 kids in 3 yrs? wow.it's no wonder you're both on edge. you're both very young and obviously didn't get to know one another as well as you could have before the kids came. you need to make the time to get to know one another.again. it's tough with three little ones running around but it can happen. you need a life outside of parenthood. find something you used to do together and just do it. or, take a chance and try something new. you can't really go back to who you were as you aren't the same anymore. don't make a big deal out of it, just arrange for a sitter and go.
2007-05-02 05:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and make time for yourselves - get rid off kids for an evening - get a babysitter if possible - if not put them to bed and make a special meal for both of you - get a bottle of wine - it does not have to be expensive - put some time into your husband and tell him the same - I know it is difficult with young children - but sometimes you can give them more time and forget about the person you married - and he will be there long after the kids have grown and gone hopefully.
2007-05-02 04:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by Redhead 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol, you guys are still growing up and still trying to figure out who you are and the fact that you have a successful family is a huge part of that.
The reason you're fighting is likely what I call "short circuits", dumb little things that get people way angrier than they should be but for whatever reason it short circuited itself into a full on blow-up.
Make sure there is time for the two of you, at least once a week that is *not* family oriented. And also try to make sure there are at least a couple nights out of the month that are just for you, however you define that.
2007-05-02 04:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by arjo_reich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband went Thur that too what you do is have someone to watch the kids one night or after they are in bed try looking at a x rated movie a massage for him and then he can give you one try taking a shower or bath together get some toys from a sex store and try them and if all that fail which it shouldn't act like an outside woman act like you're not married and just dating this should really help also dress up real sexy i hope you find some of this helpful p.s you can also have him to try pills if he has a problem with sex and you can try creams good luck
2007-05-02 04:38:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both are way to young for all this but things happen. try getting rid of the kids for a weekend and go away , somewhre you both like. try having a baby sitter come once a week and go to dinner or the movies
2007-05-02 04:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're young but you have 3 kids which puts loads of stress onto a relationship especially when you are so young and still want to go out and be with your friends. i would try and make some time for just you guys. get a sitter and go out and have fun and relieve a little stress!
2007-05-02 04:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by JM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, three kids and only 20! Congratulations.
Apparently, there are other issues to be considered here. What are you disagreeing about? Finances? Freedom?
Y'all are both so young. Have you tried 'role playing'? Kama Sutra? Date night? Adult videos?
Good luck!
2007-05-02 04:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by RozPot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋