he finally was divorced in December. His divorce was very messy and ugly. We broke up last month because of trust issues and lack of communication due to the struggles of his divorce. I now I have heard that they are getting back together...He told me that he didnt love her and she was the last woman he wanted to be with. So, why is he getting back with her? Was I just a fun for the moment relationship? I am so confused...They do have children and so maybe that is a factor.
2007-05-02 03:58:34 · 19 answers · asked by sara d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
because you know the old saying.... it's cheaper to keep her
2007-05-02 04:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by #1 Monkey Minion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a male that went through the same thing i also had a female friend that i was involved with during my divorce. It didn't work either. it was fun but there was just something about her i didn't like. you have to remember that he considered himself as a single person. I might have not worked either way ifhe was married or divorced. I don't think you can blame this on being married. Now he may be going back due to the kids sake. I would even though i can't stand my ex nor the person she is. I would do it for my kids, cause i've seen how much they hurt and i wish that on no one. Don't beat yourself up over it. It was a relationship which means it was a gamble.
2007-05-02 04:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are ALWAYS a factor and this is why I repeatedly tell anyone NEVER to get involved with a person who is seperated,wait until AFTER they are completely and totally divorced and have time to heal emotionally.It is easy for someone to get into a "rebound relationship' when seperated.They feel lost, rejected,hurt etc.If the other spouse has a change of heart usually they will try to work things out.Learn from this and dont repeat the mistake again.
2007-05-02 04:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wasn't "emotionally" free when he got involved with you to begin with as he wasn't divorced and hadn't dealt with all the garbage that comes with a failed marriage.
You've learned something from this experience and that is great. Don't date those who are married (whether they are living together or not) and don't date those who just got out of a long term relationship as they need time to process things and heal. By seeing you, he just put off dealing with his feelings and his issues. Because he did this, he still hasn't dealt with it and is going back to the wife to try again. If they don't figure out what each of them did wrong and make some changes, within a few months they will be back where they were and have the same result - break up.
You're going to be okay - just learn from your experience and move on.
2007-05-02 04:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what he told you really can't be trusted, since he's no longer with you. Sounds like he told you what you wanted to hear, or what he thought he had to say, in order to keep you in bed.....sorry, but that's the truth of it.
As far as getting back with her goes.....yes, it might be for the kids, but lets face it....men are simple creatures, and she might have figured out the secret to keeping them happy. If she did, her new attitude about their relationship and the pull of the kids would be enough to make him go back.
The secret to men is easy......if they're not horny, make them a sandwich.....if you're taking good care of your husband, any woman could show up on the front step totally naked and he wouldn't do much more than bat an eye......
You need to find a man without the entanglements of a prior relationship. This is hard to find in this society of divorce. I remarried after my divorce to a man who also had one marriage under his belt. If I'd have known then what I know now, I would've made it a stedfast rule to steer clear of men that had been married before. NO ONE should be a 2nd wife....lol. Trust me.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-02 04:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What difference does it make if you're broken up?
He's getting back with her probably because they found a way to get along, work through their disagreements, and a marriage history, time spent with a person, a shared family, and children mean an awful lot more than any dating relationship ever could.
It was nice that you kept him company, though, while he was hurting. Now go find somebody who'll appreciate the time you're willing put into a relationship and your companionship.
There are men out there far more deserving of what you have to offer and are dying to meet you. Go find one of them.
2007-05-02 04:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by biiiiaaach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know how many people having children get divorce and don't come back together ,love is something you can't hide ;he still love her wife deeply thats why he says that he won't be back with her even if she was the last woman,they have a kid its true but above all they have build strong feeling for each other that's the factor.sorry for you i know that you have been given him the best of you,but you have been with the wrong person.fortunuately you have learn something from it.leave married man alone ,you don't have to search whom you could be he will surely find you someday.
2007-05-02 04:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very hard!!!!!! Let it go and do not be there for him when and if his relationship fails again! What about you? I know it hurts to have lost the possibility of having found the right man, but WHAT ABOUT YOU?! Where are you going, what are you doing, who are you meeting, what do you want to do this Friday night? Answer these questions and get yourself on a path to a wonderful future. Good men are out there & the great ones come out of the woodwork when they see a confident and capable woman. They will go out of their way to catch up to her and grab on. As for your ex - wish him all the happiness in the world if for no other reason then for his children.
2007-05-02 04:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I am sorry to tell you that dating a guy in the throws of divorce is a really bad idea. He was confused and upset and used you as his "rebound" sex partner. He wouldn't be getting back with his wife if he didn't still love her. Move on.
2007-05-02 04:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were the girl picked to help him through his divorce. I'm sure that you were an excellent support system for him and listened every time he had something to say about all of it.
Unfortunately, it sounds like he wasn't done with his wife.
2007-05-02 04:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we learn the hard way, NEVER get in a realtionship with someone who is still married.
I would say that he either actually does still love her or is going back for the kids. Either way cut your losses and move on.
Good Luck
2007-05-02 04:03:23 · answer #11 · answered by lynn1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋