Is it selfish for someone to have kids who really cant afford them?

Question

I have a brother who had 6 kids and they seemed to struggle through everything...
So that being said ...Do people think about the environment that the kids might be growing up in before choosing to have children?

Answer 1

whew i'm just glad it don't have any to worry about.....six that's the damn brady bunch,

so it runs in the family, the sex thing,,,,,,,umm

Answer 2

The funny thing is that, for straight couples, it takes nothing but a fifth of tequila, a man, a woman, and a fold-down rear seat to produce a child that they'll be responsible for raising for at least 9 months + 18 years. Thought and planning never enter the equation.

Yet those that oppose gay adoption seem oblivious to the fact that for a gay couple to choose adoption or surrogacy involves a significant financial commitment, financial planning, parenting classes, interviews and visits by social workers, and the provision of a suitable home in which to raise a child. They have to really want to raise a child, and have years to back out of it if they get cold feet. Common sense tells you that, while a kid can thrive in an unhealthy environment, his odds are considerably better being raised in a stable loving environment by parents that been together for years than by a coupla high school sweethearts forced into a shotgun wedding, who spend the child's early years just getting to know each other, bickering about finances, and struggling to keep their head above water. Or, with parents that split up a couple years later, where the father is absent, abusive homes, living in an unsafe house... etc., etc.

Answer 3

Waiting until you can afford it, to have kids, is kind of like waiting for us to be able to build a bridge to go to the moon... Not going to happen... Most people, no matter how much money they make per year, can't REALLY afford kids...
I have 5 children, and we're trying for # 6... Hubby makes good money, and we're both in school... We struggle now and then, BUT, who doesn't?? And our children are very well taken care of, clothed well, fed well, we live in a nice place, have more than adequate transportation, and we get no form whatsoever of government assistance... Our kids are happy, and well-taken care of.
But, depending on circumstances, I think it IS selfish to have children you can't afford... If you struggle on a weekly basis, just for basic needs or bills, then there's a problem, if you can't live without government assistance, again, there's a problem.
I definitely thought about the environment my children would be growing up in before I had children, but, unfortunately, not everyone does. And not everyone cares enough, to have the sense NOT to have kids if they can't afford them... And yes, that is selfish.

Answer 4

When planning a family you should have some financial security. I don't understand why people have so many kids and can't afford to. There's lots of ways to prevent this from happening. When and if you can afford to have a child is the best time to do so. Too many children growing up in poverty and it's not fair. I do understand that you may never be ready or have the right financial security, but you should wait until you can provide something for the child..

Answer 5

No - I think it's selfish for people to have one or two kids and then have a nanny or babysitter care for them all the time. Struggling is not a sign of bad parenthood, and many successful, happy adults today grew up in homes where their family struggled. Think about this, just because you are financially stable and making good money, does it really mean it will always be that way? Who's to say you won't lose your job, the stock market will take a down turn, the housing market will bust, and all of your supposed wealth is gone. Should people just never have kids because financial stability is really never 100% assured? Having children is about love and love has nothing to do with money.

BTW- My husband and I are expecting our 6th child and while we don't have all the fantastic "things" in the world, we care for and provide well for our children. We do it on one income by choice. Our children are happy, healthy and well adjusted.

Answer 6

I would have to say yes. It is alright to have kids like the one lady said because you can never really afford them anyway. But if you have 2 kids and can't afford them, you should realize you can't handle more. Welfare isn't around to help people that want to abuse it, but that really need it. 2 or 3 kids is understandable, but when you get 4 or more, when you are already struggling, im tired of having to use my tax dollars to pay for that, when it could go to other things.

Answer 7

If loving families really couldn't afford an extra child, they would give them up for adoption instead of keeping them and not being able to provide their basic needs. Parents who are poor sometimes have lots of kids but make many sacrifices for their well-being. Even though they don't have much they do all they can to help each child and that's what makes them fit parents.

Answer 8

I bet if you were to ask your brother, he would say it is the best years of his life... Who are you to critisize??? I agree 6 kids is a little obsessive for me, but clean your own home before you try to clean someone elses...
I know I had two children and had a hard time making ends meet, but those were the best years of my life and I'd struggle all over again for my family.
Best advise? Stay out of someone elses house and fix your own problems that exist in your own life. I'm sure there are many...

Answer 9

i have always wanted kids, and i'm going 2 start soon. i have told my family, and they tell me that i don't have the money to support a child. i'm going 2 get a job soon and start saving up enough money 2 get an apartment, and hopefully i will be pregnant by then. even if i got pregnant sooner, it wouldn't matter 2 me. i luv kids so much, and my family just doesn't see that. they are telling me that i will be making a mistake, but mistake or not, i really want a baby. i will do anything in my power to luv my child unconditionally, and provide anything that it needs. and my family will help me, becuz even though they say i am making a mistake, they will help me through anything, especially my mom, becuz it would be her first grandchild. i'm her oldest child. so even if they couldn't afford it right now, children are a blessing from God, and when they are given to u it is not a mistake. ur brother and his wife just need to get better paying jobs or something. either way it goes, their kids will luv them no matter wat. i luv my family a whole lot, and i didn't have everything i wanted growing up.

and by the way, i want 6 kids 2.

Answer 10

I believe that if you have a child un planed and your financially not up to par its not selfish you just half to deal with it the best way possible and take responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen again till your ready. on the other hand it you have 6 children and you have no money it is very irresponsible and not fare to the children

Answer 11

These people are not selfish, they are just irresponsible. They don't bother to use birth control, which is available free at family planning centers if people can't afford it.

All they think about is their own satisfaction and to h*ll with the consequences. The welfare or somebody will pick up the slack.

Perhaps maybe it is selfish as well, but in most cases they don't really want the children, they are just a product of being irresponsible.