Is there anything wrong with marrying my cousin?

Question

I have been divorced for one year. My cousin has also. We come from a close family and we grew up close. Since our divorces we have spent a lot of time together, just as company nothing more. But as time goes by I feel a very deep love for her. I can't tell what kind it really is I just know I can't stand to be away from her. We have never been intimate and I don't know how she would react to it. I do think our family would be very upset, but I can live without them.

We both can no longer have children so that is not part of the problem. Is it worse than being gay? Is it the same?

To add furhter. We have done everything else together. Dinner, Movies, cuddleing on the couch, vacationing together. When people see us they assume we are a couple.

Thee has been many times we have woke up the next mornig after we have fallen asleep together on the couch. We hold each other often but never anything sexual nothing more than a kiss on the cheek.

Does it really matter since we are not having children?

Answer 1

In most of the Western world, while incest generally describes forbidden sexual relations within the family, the applicable definitions of family vary. Within the United States, marriage between first cousins is illegal in some states, but not in others, and sociologists have classified marriage laws in the United States into two categories: one in which the definitions of incest are taken from the Bible, which frowns upon marriage within one's lineage but less so on one's blood relatives; and one that frowns more on marriage between blood relatives (such as cousins), but less on that within one's lineage.

Twenty-four states prohibit marriages between first cousins, and another seven permit them only under special circumstances. Utah, for example, permits first cousins to marry only if both spouses are over age 65, or at least 55 with evidence of sterility; North Carolina permits first cousins to marry unless they are "double first cousins" (cousins through more than one line); Maine permits first cousins to marry only upon presentation of a certificate of genetic counseling. The other states with some, but not absolute, limits on first-cousin marriage are Arizona, Illinois, Indiana, and Wisconsin.

First-cousin marriage without restriction is permitted in nineteen states—Alabama, Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, and Virginia—and the District of Columbia.

First-cousin marriage is illegal in Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas (such marriages may not be performed after 1 September 2005, although previous marriages are still recognized), Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming, although the United States Constitution has been interpreted as requiring these states to give "full faith and credit" to such marriages performed in other states. Yet, in the absence of a United States Supreme Court ruling, the scope of the Full Faith and Credit Clause is not clear in this context, especially as it would have implications on whether states were required to recognize marriages commenced in Massachusetts between same-sex couples. There are conflicts and courts have interpreted the clause differently. Some states, such as Wisconsin, have marriage abroad laws that make marriages by their residents in jurisdictions in order to circumvent their state's marriage restrictions null and void, and marriages contracted in that state to avoid restrictions in another jurisdiction likewise void.

Answer 2

I'm from a state that doesn't look down on that sort of thing but there are two things you need to look at. Are you related by blood or are you cousins by marriage? And don't throw away your family over and infatuation with her. Regardless of what you feel for her she is family also. You really need to talk with her and her feelings as well. She may think your crazy or she may be feeling the same way. My mom and dad found out after 18 yrs of marriage that they were 5th cousins and it didn't change the way they feel about each other. You need to know that in most states 2nd cousins or more it's not considered taboo. Blood 1st cousins in many states are restricted and are not allowed to be married, but in several states that's OK. They only thing that's considered incest is brother/sister, mother/son, father/daughter, grandparents with their children or grandchildren, uncles/nieces or nephews, etc... But the country doesn't really view cousins as incest. Weird, huh. Now your family may have a problem seeing it that way, but the country doesn't.

Answer 3

Depending on which cousin it is.....the answer could be YES or NO......if you were able to have children.....but since you said that neither one of you can have children, I really don't believe that there would be anything wrong with it. It is NOT a sister or mother.....so I do NOT believe that incest would be an issue.
If you think that you are in "LOVE" with her.....not just family love or the way you love a really good friend, then I feel as if you should talk to her about it. See how she feels. Tell her that you don't want to frighten her, but that is how you feel and go from there.
Sometimes when you spend a LOT of time with someone who cares and listens to you, you can feel as if you are in LOVE with them....as if there is NO ONE else that you would rather be with.......but it is just a "LOVE" of being listened to and feeling wanted and needed.
I wish you luck........and hope that things work out the way you want them to
The last suggestion I have is that you pray to HEAVENLY FATHER about it. HE will let you know if it is wrong......LISTEN to HIM!!!
GOD BLESS

Answer 4

In some states it's legal, but you aren't even sure she feels the same way. It would seem to me that you needed a crutch to get you through your divorce and so did she. You are in a very vulnerable state right now. You say you could live without your family, but is she willing to do that? It would seem your relationship is a little one sided. She may look at you as her best friend, but she may not want to take this to the next level. I think it would be wiser to keep her as a close friend, than as a wife.

Answer 5

The prohibited degree of kinship in marriage refers to a degree of consanguinity (relatedness) below which sexual interrelationships are regarded as incestuous. Inbreeding is a taboo across nearly all cultures worldwide, but the line at which a relationship is considered incestuous varies. The prohibited degree of kinship may exist between siblings, half-siblings, first cousins, third cousins, etc. Jewish and christian traditions condemn or strongly discourage marriage between first cousins while Islam permits. Some US states permit in civil ceremonies, most European countries also do so.

Answer 6

First of all...being gay isn't bad...sleeping with your cousin is disgusting. Sure...you love her...GREAT!! I love my dog...deeply, but you don't see me breakin out the peanut butter now do ya?? There's just some things that shouldn't be done...your cousin is one of them.

Answer 7

Sweetheart, it's incest. If you really think you love her, then talk to her about it. She may, or may not feel the same way you do.

Answer 8

that is a bad question. who in the hell wants to be with a cousin? that is just wrong plane and simple!

Answer 9

well mate ,if you can do it and put up with the **** that will follow then go for it good luck

Answer 10

.. yes, that is ridiculous. there is no reason to marry your cousin. thats gross and you - instead of investing in a marriage.. you should invest in freakin therapy!!