Physical abuse...how much would you take?

Question

I am doing a report for my college psychology class. I need to know from men and women what your views on physical abuse in relationships are. What do you consider abuse? Having a heated argument and pushing one another…..or pushing one another then wrestling around? What about the women pushing the man and the man pushing her back? Or the man puts his hands around the women’s throat? Is this physical abuse and would you stay in a relationship like this…even if it just happened once or twice? Now what about actually hitting…say punching each other in the arm and wrestling then choking then it escalates to punching each other in the face. What is your definition of physical abuse and how much of it would you take before you left?
Thanks for your help.

Answer 1

Well, my father physically abused my mother, and his children.
My mother had been to the hospital too get stiches from the front of her head all the way to the back right down the middle.

Another time, he knocked alot of her teeth loose.

When her mother (my grandmother) tried to stop him once, he held a giant kitchen knife to her throat and told her to mind her business. ( my grandmother had a really bad heart too)

He would beat me and my brother endlessly for really small things, that most kids wouldn't even get yelled at about.

With that said, I left home at a very early age, and of course had terrible relationships. But with that type of abuse in my past, when my boyfriend would just push me, or grab me, I wouldn't think much of it, because it was nothing in comparison to what my father had put all of us through, and I would not have called it abuse. But letting that be done, allowed for it to get worse, punching and all that was soon to follow. And I of course being the product of an extremely violent chldhood, I fought too. I hit, and all of that too.

Im older now, and happily married, and my husband and I talk.

Hitting and punching should not be allowed in a relationship, because I think it will only escalate to more dangerous situations. If when it first happens, and you don';t put your foot down and leave, or put your foot down and get counceling you can be sure that it will continue to happen.

And that refers to men and women, they can both be abusive.

That is not saying that a man should strike a woman if she hits him, because the difference in the amount of power exerted can often be way off balance....a woman may punch a guy in the face and to him can feel like an insect bite, but he can punch her in the face with his strength, and it can be the equivavlent of blunt force trauma. I do think a man should walk away if a woman hits him. And I also think that, they should get help or split because some relationships just arent healthy.

Answer 2

I believe physical abuse is any type of 'physical' abuse you don't want. I believe that harmless contact is OK like in a argument but if the intention to cause the other person harm is there then it is abuse.

I would like to say I would leave if it did happen but I cannot say how I would react because I have never been in the situation myself.

However as a professional I would advise the person to leave straight away. As it can 'snowball' into something worse.

Answer 3

I don't think gender matters. No amount is tolerable to me. I would suggest that anyone should leave a relationship at the first indication of any physical abuse (and possibly the first sign of verbal abuse). If people reach adulthood without learning that it's not okay to abuse other people (because they didn't learn it from their parents or whoever), they need to learn it sooner or later, from the others they interact with.

Answer 4

Don't take any. That is the best rule of thumb. Once people know that They can get away with it once They will just escalate and eventually You will be under the thumb with no way out. Zero tolerance means just that.