My husband has lied to me on many occassions he drinks with his mates and denies it also he will make excuses that he is working late and will infact go out with his mates, how do i deal with this situation?
2007-05-01 23:07:48 · 13 answers · asked by syk786 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why does he feel like he has to lie? Do you allow him to have some time with his friends?
Either way, you don't have to put up with that! Marriages need honesty to survive. Let him know that you know he's lying, and ask him why he feels like he has to do that.
A good conversation might solve the whole thing. If not, the next time he does it, leave for a few days and see if that knocks some sense into him!
2007-05-01 23:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by daynasu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that' really mature to tell you to sleep with his best friend! Anyway, I think if I were in that situation I would just let him know that he can't continue doing this. It must be the fact that a younger girl is showing him some interest and he is acting upon it. Is 17 not illegal, anyhow? Ask him if you and your children not more important to him that this girl? I wouldn't continue to put up with it though. This is the second time. Maybe you could find someone to stay with for a little while so that he can see what it is like without you and the kids. Then maybe he will wise up. I know that is easier said than done. If you and the kids leave and he doesn't seem to care then I guess you should just stay away from him. You and your kids don' t deserve that. If it comes down to that then make him pay child support. And if you can't afford to leave, then get some assistance from the government. I know it sucks, but you got to do what more important for those children. Good luck and I hope this helps somehow.
2016-05-18 21:25:23 · answer #2 · answered by erlene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - that is a tough one, and there are so many variables that we are not aware of. For instance, if you have kids I would have a totally different answer. But for the sake of answering this I am going with the information provided only.
I would call him from work and tell him that I had to work late, and then go see a movie with friends. Smelling like popcorn, go home and say it was a tough day at work.
Then the next night I would call him and say that I had to work late or do some errands, and then go to the place that he and his mates hang out at the most. I would make eye contact but not physical contact. Save that fun for home - don't make a scene, but have a good time.
When it comes out at home, ask him how he felt when you lied to him - and then let him know you don't mind if he spends time with his friends, it is the lying that makes you suspicious of his behaviors while he is out, just as it would make him suspicious of your behavior as well.
Then build a date night and a buddy night calendar so you both have time out with friends and each other. Hopefully, you can combine both on occasion so that everyone is comfortable.
Good luck!
2007-05-01 23:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you honestly, I always find that if it is getting to a point where I feel like my husband isn't really appreciating me anymore, and not trying to make things work, I go out without him. When he comes home and finds that you aren't there and doesn't know where you are, you may find that he will see what it feels like on the recieving end and he may appreciate you a bit more.
2007-05-01 23:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mum_of_2.5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has his home become a place of discord over his drinking. He's willing to lie about something that should only be an issue if he's out of control. Lying to women to avoid a fight is about what a woman should expect if she wants to fight. He's tired of fighting, and he wants to drink. What do you want.? No drinking and complete obedience. Good luck.
2007-05-01 23:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him go out for a drink with his mates if he wants, whats the problem. My brothers wife is the same, she goes mad anytime my bro comes out with me for a drink. She starts making accusations that we are out chasing girls and stuff. As long as he doesnt go out too often you should let him
2007-05-01 23:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by Sean D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn up at the places he drinks at, caught red handed he can't deny it, or get someone to follow him and take pictures, if confronted with proof what else can he do? then dump him.
2007-05-02 01:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refer him for counselling, if not make him commit to a religion. If he not willing to change then just give up. Dont waste ur time and youth on such a jerk.
2007-05-02 00:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by le_snowangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he obviously feels that you will be unhappy if he said he was going to......suggest a couple of nights when you have no problems with him going out but you want him in the rest of the time. he gets his time then and has no reason to lie to you. probably both be happier
2007-05-01 23:12:03 · answer #9 · answered by colesey72 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the same to him...show him how it feels and at the same time...have a little fun for yourself. When he ask where you were make it an obvious lie.
2007-05-01 23:11:30 · answer #10 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋