Why do women complain about when you open doors, pulling her chair out, when in the begining it was cool?

Question

need help

Answer 1

Well first of all, there is a history that most people don't understand in this day and age. Remember way back when women wore dresses with huge, rounded skirts? The kind they wore the wire slips under? Well, of course you don't actually remember, but surely you've seen "Gone With The Wind" or something from that era? Anyway, the skirts were too big for women to reach the doorknob, so they needed someone to do it for them, whether it was a nice man or a servant. The richer the woman, the bigger the skirt.

So to answer your question, all of these "cool" things were done out of necessity, like the way most traditions started. Why do we carry them on? Some people just don't want to change.

Do a little history research, and I'm sure you'll find the answers to your other "chivalry" questions.

Answer 2

Yes, I know...I met some of these sort of women too.

My suspicion is that they have a wrong idea about emancipation and are not self-confident enough to just take a compliment.

They might think the need to demonstrate their independence at any second.

Coincidentally or not, I found all of these women to be difficult personalities.

In my opinion, all these gentlemanly gestures are compliments and nothing else, I also open the door or help into the coat when I can do it for an elderly person or my boss, no matter what gender.

Answer 3

This is hard to explain. We are in a time of change, where men don't know at all what women want anymore.

Before, there was a thing called "Chivalry" where the man would open doors, pay for everything, pull out chairs, and it was just a simple motion of things that a man would do for a women out of respect.

However, in the last decade or so, women have wanted to be TRUE equals at everything, which is great, I love that fact, and stand for it 100%. In treating women as equals, men have stopped doing those things for women, stopped pulling out chairs, stopped opening doors, and going butch when paying for things.

Women also complain to me "Where has Chivalry gone?" and when a man like myself decides to open doors, and things of the like, the very women who asked me where Chivalry has gone, complains that I'm not letting her be an independent person, or treating her as an equal.

Things are in a weird transition in the dating scene, which is why I believe most people don't do traditional dates anymore. Things have moved on, men don't know how to treat women in that scene anymore, and most women don't know what they want in the traditional dating scene anymore. Things are evolving.

Answer 4

I had just that happen when the women's movement was getting into full steam in the early 1970s. I was walking into a building in Manhattan and opened the door for a woman who told me, rudely, "I can open the door myself."

She walked about 15 steps and had to go down three steps and I simply asked her if she could make it by herself or if she needed a kick in the butt.

When I went to the office where I had appointment, I found my appointment was with her and that diatribe continued for an hour, but I sold her what I was selling and left.

Answer 5

I don't think I would complain, I personally find it very nice and it makes me happy. If a girl doesn't like it she should say so at the outset, otherwise it isnt your fault you can't read her mind. Having said this, perhaps on the first few dates a lady who is a feminist wouldn't want to express her strong views and sound like a "rant" but once she knows you better she feels more comfy telling you her views. I think the best thing to do, if a girl acts as if she doesn't like it, is to simply ask her stance on gender politics. Most women will tell you straight out - no problem. Good luck.

Answer 6

Because some women have forgotten how it is to be taken care of... most of them care about being independent from men and all that... They do not want to show that they are weak... that is very respectable, but it depends on the woman... If the woman here is an independent kind of person... there is no need to be a gentleman... but if she is a LADY!!! She will know that this helps boost men and allows her to be taken care of, which men like to do... It depends, man!!! don't worry... not all women are ladies, but all ladies are women... ;-)

Answer 7

;-D Ok.' Try this!!,. & after you try them ask said person if they'd rather you continue doing those small/simple/thoughtful/helpful things !?! Or not !?!.,. Go in the door first,sit down first,order your OWN whatever FIRST !!.,.lol & if your at a table eating in a public place.` LOL BURP really loud!! & then say in a raised tone "OH,'Boy It's better it came out of that end LOL & then ask if they want you to change back into your old self LOL that's if you can catch them as they are running away from which`ever place h`a'h`a'H`a'`~!!!R`'r.r'r`,->

Answer 8

I would have thought in this day of distinct rudness that a little care would have been appreciated .
If your gestures are met with didain find a lady of suitable sensibilities as your own .
You canoot improve the crudity of the world just rise to a society anbove it

Answer 9

Lamar,
Save Yourself a lot of time and effort and just ask Them why They have changed Their attitude towards Your manners. Not much point asking strangers who were not there, is it?

Answer 10

They think you're patronizing them.

Back off a bit. It's only good manners if she likes it.