why? hes the one who wanted this child, he cheated on me about 6 months ago and now lives with his gf shes 12 yrs older that me and 10 yrs older than him trust me shes no prize fat,old and ugly i dont understand why he chooses her over me and our kids we also have a 2 yr old litle girl. i just found out yesterday by his mom that he has no intention on showing up for my delivery this thurs. which hurts me because its not our sons fault we didnt work our issues out. and i also feel upset about the fact that he was there for our daughter. all the way he WAS a good father now he sees her maybe about 1 a month for like 20 min. thats a choice he makes because if it were up to me he would see her more she loves and misses him very much, i can tell he misses her too, he cries when he leaves. i just dont understand why he listens to his gf? she doesnt want him to see our daughter he dosent and now he wont even come to the hospital i dont know what to think or how to feel? any1 experience this?
2007-05-01 18:35:17 · 17 answers · asked by nahdya21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i got him for child support and ever since then is when he stopped coming around..he also changed his number.
2007-05-01 18:53:33 · update #1
You have to accept that it's over. He has someone new and doesn't want to be with you anymore. You can't make him want to be with your kids, unfortunately. He is so wrong for putting his new gf first. He'll pay in the long run. You are going to have to be strong for yourself and for your kids. They need you. You're their only parent now. Many women raise kids on their own. You can do it too. Make sure you make him pay child support. That's something completely different. He is still financially responsible for them. Divorce him as soon as possible.
2007-05-01 18:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a lowlife loser to me. try to be strong during all of this i know that its hard because i went through the same exact thing. The only person in that delivery room was my mother. It isnt easy being a single mom but if i can do it trust me anyone can! just make sure that u have friends and family to help during the difficult times. after get on a schedule and ur life is in order. then go out and do something nice for urself. i would recommend a babsitter so u can find someone too and when he wakes up and realizes what he has done and wants u back, then u can tell him to kiss ur ***. the best revenge is to live well take care of urself and ur kids. Good luck to u hun!
2007-05-01 19:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by boo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do about him or his family.
But, you know there is a whole new world of difference you can do for your children and yourself. I know it does not feel that way now, but, it does get easier and will make you stronger.
A broken heart while your having a baby is just unbearable sometimes I know. But, somewhere out there is the right man, father, and husband for your family. Until you can all be together, keep faith in just that.
You are better off with out him. So are your children.
They don't need a father when they have a loving mother looking over them. Stay strong!!!
2007-05-01 22:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be Strong.... for yourself, and especially for your children.
If he is worth anything as a father, then he will come to realize that what he has done is not right. HE will Want to be a part of his childrens lives, even if he chooses not to continue with the marriage.
I know how hard it is to make plans to raise a child with someone, then they make other plans.
Just know that although you will go through difficult times and struggle raising these children, you have been blessed. It is him that will be missing out on all of the wonderful rewards that you get to enjoy.
Your children are still very young. It will be easy enough to bring someone else into their lives, someone decent, who will be happy to be the "Daddy" that he has chosen not to be.
Good Luck! you will be in my prayers!
2007-05-01 20:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by Mikez Bad Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had a friend whose ex was treating her this way , waht would you tell her ? Probably to move on. If you could just take a step back away from the situation you'd see it more clearly. If he can't be there for his children then why do you want him? You need to think about them first and what is best for them.Actions speak louder than words. If he wanted to be there with you and his daughter he would be. He has made his choice. Your kids deserve better than a half hearted attempt at being a father. In the end it may hurt them more than you might think. Don't encourage your dtr's depenance on him. He will only disappoint her. Think about it. In your heart you know its true. Good luck to you. Be smart and be strong
2007-05-01 18:52:11 · answer #5 · answered by debrita9 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll make it real for you sweetie......
I don't answer many of these, but you are SOOOOO in the dark....Read and learn, hon.... yours is typical of women who have children too soon in a marriage.(which then crumbles..)
Here's what happened.
You went from being the babe, the huss, the sexy lady, to mother and housewife. He went from being the man, the dude, the sex machine to father and provider. Neither of you was ready for this.("Let's have a baaaaabbbbyyyyyy", isn't what either of you thought it would be, was it????)
You each brought these children into the world with no thought of how parenthood would change your relationship forever---- FOREVER ... and it did, didn't it???
He went away with another lady because he again wants to feel like the man, the stud, the sex machine, and the lady he is with is again the babe the huss the sexy lady. It ain't ever the years, hon, it's the mileage, and having 2 kids has aged you big time -- no offense, just truth. (
(10 years is nothing, hon. Women now are beautiful well into their 60's if they take care of themselves by watching their weight, exercise, good make -up, a tad of plastic surgery if/when necessary...so don't expect an edge over her with just age.)
What you didn't do was each of you prepare for parenthood, and hon, he doesn't wish to be reminded of it,( not now, and maybe for years...) even if he has not yet admitted it to himself. You remind him of responsibility, of fatherhood, of the loss of his masculine edge, and she brings that back. So, that, hon, is why it is unlikely he will be there....
It will be many years before he is comfortable with having those children, which neither of you planned for, but you are stuck with. He is certainly responsible for supporting them, but the greatest part of the burden is on you.
Do yourself a favor..... go back to school, get some education, so you can support them in a better fashion. (Your inability to use English well, suggests you didn't study much in hs, and have no college or training as yet...) and don't try to trap another guy by getting preggers.... it won't work for very long... they will all leave within 5 years after the kid is here, usually sooner.
So, hopefully this will let you know what is in his head, and why he will likely not be there...
How should you feel? Hopefully, now a bit more educated. Get back on the pill, and get back in school.
You asked....
(And interesting---- the lady's response above mine just proves the point... She tried to trap a second guy, and now she is preggers again, and he is outa there....
(As I said, your story is typical of women who get pregnant outside of a strong, loving marriage. As a little aside, men generally don't wish to raise other men's children, so quality guys aren't going to be in her future nor yours, unless you get out and get schooling, hon.... The guys with the good brains, and good education, seek the same in a wife. If you wish to be one, go back to school.)
2007-05-01 21:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, you already answered your own question it's his choice, sadly we cant make our ex's be good father, good people anymore now after a divorce than before, It's his choice will he regret this yes he probably will, but you cant make him and in your condition all you can do is take care of you and the children. Do you need him there? I would say no! Have someone important to you be there ( your mom and friend or a sister) and forget him focus on what you need to do and what you are gonna do and either he will step up or he will not. either way its his choice and his regrets, not yours.
2007-05-01 19:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by Laine 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You no pride can be a motha for ya, his ego has been hurt and that why hes running to her. She strokes his ego in a way that you are not. He is confused and doesnt know which way to turn. Tell him you love him and forgive him for his foolishness and to please be there for the birth of his child. Think for a moment because I know for a fact that a pregnant women can be a real pain in the you know what. SO get him on the phone and try to work it out, but be honest and real wit it. Good Luck!!!
2007-05-01 18:50:13 · answer #8 · answered by Doctor feel good 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A father (?) who does not want to see his child is no father!
Some people in life have ethics and when they procreate their humanity compels them to take care and love their progeny. That is a human trait, some animals and insects don't behave like humans, and some humans behave like animals and insects, rejecting their own siblings. In the end it is probably better that a child gets separated from such an abnormal human being . What good could someone who abandons his children bring to the positive growth of a child? He must hate himself, to reject his own flesh and blood is like hating his own arms, legs, or head. You don't need a CRAZY like that in your life or your child's, there are plenty of human beings in this planet who will be glad to take care and love you and your child, believe me!
2007-05-01 19:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by willgvaa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I knew a guy that was married to a real hottie, he watched her give birth to his son. Thier sex life came to an end, about six month's later she asked him what was up, he said that after watching the birth he just couldn't think of her sexually anymore because it was so gross. Men should never watch birthing.
The older chick probably appreciates him more, and is probably hotter in the sack. I would gladly trade my 21 year old girlfriend to get back my last girlfriend, she was 53 and did anything to satisfy me in the sack, you young chicks think everything is gross.
2007-05-01 18:43:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋