Why do so many people have a problem with your baby sleeping in the same bed as you?

Question

A lot of poeple I've talked to say never to start that because you'll have a hard time with trasitioning them back to sleeping by themselves. My baby has been sleeping in the same bed as us since he was born and he's 9 months now. Almost everyone I've talked to said they did the same thing and there was no problem getting them to sleep by themselves. Who is against it, and why? Who is for it, and why?

Answer 1

Generally people are against it for 2 reasons. The first one being that they feel "it will become a horrible habit." Honestly if you like co-sleeping and it works for your family then who cares what others think? I co-sleep with my almost 8 month old and love it. We both get a lot of sleep, and the bond is amazing.
The second reason that people shun the idea is for safety reasons. You could roll over your baby and smother it, or it could fall out of bed. Those 2 scenarios are easily avoided with a little common sense. Don't co-sleep if you are under the influence of any alcohol or drugs, or if you smoke. Always use a bed rail, co-sleeper or put your mattress on the floor. Children are only small for a short time, cherish it. A child that is securely attached to their parents are more independant then a detached child.

Answer 2

I don't have any children, but I'm pregnant with my first, and I also have lots of experience with babies, due to all of the children in my family. Alot of people are afraid they'll injure or suffocate their baby if the baby is in the bed with them, and that's understandable. But babies need the comfort of one of the few things they know so that they won't be afraid at night, sleeping alone. That thing is their mother. So it's pretty much 50/50 on whether the child should sleep with you or not. Yes the transition from mom and dad's bed to t heir own bed may be difficult for them, but the child sleeping with you at night may be the only way for the baby to get some sleep, and you. Whenever my child is born, I'm afraid of both problems arising, so I'm doing the in between thing, and I'm going to have a bassinet beside the bed, that way the baby can feel close still, but not too close to be harmed. Either a bassinet, or a crib beside the bed in arm's reach is the best idea I would say.

Answer 3

Usually the child gets fussy when he/she's in their room alone after being in the parents bed for so long. Babies are very much habit-oriented, and if something is different they tend to fuss. When mommy and daddy aren't there to calm them, they can get scared because all of a sudden they may feel alone or insecure.

Also, a lot of people have mentioned this, there is the high risk of smothering your baby.

I actually intend to compromise, personally. I intend to have nap time in his crib in his bedroom most of the time, and have the occasional nap in my bed with him. I don't move around much in my sleep, and I'd only ever allow myself to do so when my husband is home so he can check in every so often just for safety's sake. However, since my husband flops around a lot (and I've woken up with his elbow in my face numerous times) it would be unwise for us to have the baby in bed with both of us. So for the first 2-4 weeks (maybe more, maybe less) we will have a bassinet set up next to our bed for him to sleep in at night.

Answer 4

Throughout history and in the majority of the world today, the family bed is the rule, not the exception. I will never understand why people have to take such a immovable stance on any parenting issue. Parenting is the ultimate lesson in never say never. Just because something doesn't work for your family, it doesn't mean it won't work for someone else's family. And just because something didn't work with one of your children, doesn't mean the same thing will apply to all of your children. All 3 of my children have coslept. The older 2 (almost 3 and 5 yrs old) moved out at 2 with no problems. My youngest just turned one and we will probably keep him in there for another year. My kids are normal, healthy, independent children. Co-sleeping alone does not make a dependent child. Statistically, neglected children are much more needy. I don't think co-sleeping children are neglected just by co-sleeping.
My rule of parenting: DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND ALLOW OTHERS TO DO THE SAME WITHOUT JUDGMENT.

Answer 5

There are many people for it, and many against it.. My son slept with me for many months.. He's 10 months old now, and I'm trying to transition him to his brand new crib and he has his momments where he doesnt want to sleep in his crib.. There are nights where he's perfectly fine.. Would I do it again if I have another child, probably not after the first few months... I am starting the transition at a very bad time, where he's going through the attachment phase.. I wish you luck..

Answer 6

i know it's nice to have ur baby with you, but through my own experience, my daughter would not sleep in her bed through the night till she was 5 yrs old.. needless to say i was very sleep deprived.. when a baby is so young, you know there are greater risks of you smothering your child than child havin sids.. it is a very hard thing to break out of.. those that say they had no problems are very lucky.. right now my son is 3 and a half and few months ago i got him out of crib and into his own single bed, he realizes that now he can get up and wonder through the house . . come into my room and sleep and this is already becoming a habit, of course it's always nice havin ur child with you, but ohh.. ya need proper sleep, space as well.. so does the child..

Answer 7

Well there have been a lot of cases of parents rolling on top of their babies and smothering them. Also it is harder to get them to sleep in their own bed later. But I have still always done it, as long as you are a light sleeper and are very careful then it should be safe. Also know that it is gonna be hard to get them in their own bed later, the longer they are in your bed the harder.

Answer 8

There is the obvious concern of suffocating your child, we used a sleep positioner to reduce that. You can also get a co-sleeper to avoid that.
Another concern is your marriage, with a child in your bed/room all the time, it can stress a relationship in more ways than just the obvious.
Depending on the child it can be very difficult to get them into their own room/crib/bed.

Answer 9

I did it with my first and he never slept in his crib, bed, for many years until I had to start laying down with him to get him for fall asleep then I could leave his room. With my daughter at the pediatricians advice bed time was bed time and if she needed comfort I gave it to her in her room and layed her back down in her crib and she never had a problem and is more independent and not so clingy. It also will interfer in your relationship and private time with your husband, mate down the road when you never have alone time, or jealousy issues arise.
I hope you can work things out tough since you've already have your child accustomed to it.

Answer 10

Do not believe the suffocation myth. We can not do this as you are attuned to the baby's needs and the slightest wimper you hear, even from another bedroom.

The biggest issue is the lack of sleep you and your partner will get.

You also have to remember that if you are going to have a regular sex life again after childbirth you will not be able to do this with a child in your bed.

If you learn to wrap your newborn so they can not escape their wrap then it will provide a solid base for the child sleeping through the night in their own bed.

Do not do it, if you want to sleep with your child (it is beautiful) have an afternoon nap with them.