do you like these freestyles?

Question

i got 20's on my whip chicks on my d i ck
n i g g a's get frostbitten by my icy chains yeah n i g g a i make it rain so u should bring a swimsuit but i be leavin paint stains when i switch da lanes ***** b tryin to stay on my chain ***** i fly high i have dez boys askin when he gona land
what should i add im 12 and would like to know what would make it better

Answer 1

pretty good for 12. listen to other freestyles to get an idea of what to say. check out "black democrat" freestyle by The Game on xxlmag.com. you should find it under Bangers.

Answer 2

it's str8. not better than me but it's aight. i know u wrote it though.