changing my moms mind?

Question

im like so upset rite now i cant stop crying and stuff. i was about to leave for this pep squad meeting for the hs im going to nx yr. but when my mom picks me up from d-hall she said i cant go. she said since my best friends are doing it she dosnt want me to be in it cause she hates them. she said i need new friends she hates mine. well i love my friends i have known them forever and im not going to stop being friends wit them. she said i also cant do cheerleading cause she believes i dont really want to do that, ya well i really do and thats mainly wh im so upset rite now. she thinks i dont want to do this but she cant see me crying for hrs that i really want to do this. is like anyway to change my moms mind cause i seriously wanna do it but shes not wanting me to. and its not just the meeting she dosnt want me to go to she dosnt want me to be in cheerleading or pep squad at all, she wants to change my classes to ROTC which is so gay i wouldnt do that in my life.

i havent been to d-hall or iss in like 1 wk thats pretty good for me. and yes d-hall is detention and iss is in skool suspension. but im really not that bad, im good like all the time sometimes i just get in a little trouble.

ROTC is this millitary thing during skool its stupid. its like mini millitary skool.

and its too late now the thing ended like 4 hrs ago. i guess im not doing it, i will just hate her forever. and i always do backflips and stuff infront of her lol i got written up for doing a flip in the hall. so she knos i like it shes just making up excuses to not make me happy and not let me do wat i want to do.

and my mom said the other reason she dosnt want me doing it is cause she thinks " cheerleaders are always troublemakers i dont want u wit them u will just get worse always hanging out wit ur friends." and i kno for a fact that most of them are good not bad.

Answer 1

It is very disappointing to look forward to doing something and then not be able to do it.I can understand your mother's concern with your friends.Most parents want to meet their children's friends.Can you take a minute and honestly say that their behaviour or language is appropriate.Maybe your friends are acting disrespectfully to your mom.As a parent I would rather you bring your friends home than sneak around behind my back ( not that you are doing that).I think you must take some responsibility for your mom's attitude ( detentions, lack of respect for the teachers,etc).Did you ever find out if your mom saw your Q&A site?That is a potential problem right there. I really believe that you and your mom need to talk with other and more importantly to listen to each other.Right now you are both just butting heads and growing further apart.Your mom, regardless of her methods, wants only the best for you.EmaWeeE tell your mom you will try harder at school and try to tone down your attitude.Ask your mom if she will give your friends another chance.Talk to your friends and let them know you want them to be respectful around your parents.If they are truly your friends they will respect your wishes.Just a question have your teachers or principal ever suspected you may have learning problems( ADD, etc.)?Well I hope you can talk to your mom and maybe you can reach a compromise.Take care.

Answer 2

Em, it sounds like a big problem....but why make it one?? There are so many other things you'd be good at....does the school have a gymnastics team?? Or other sports? Or what about cooking?? Or fashion design?? Or starting a Yahoo Answers club!!

Anyway, your mom has something against your friends, and if I were you, I'd be taking this moment to evaluate the people with whom you socialize. Are they troublemakers? Do they do bad stuff? Does your mom think that they are the root of your behavior problems??

If I were you, I'd explain, "mom, I want to cheerlead. I've been in gymnastics for a million years and this will be a great chance to showcase and improve my skills. Tonight is an informational meeting and I want to see if it's something I'd enjoy. If I do choose to try out and I get in, we can bring the topic back up. I'm going into high school, and I think groups like cheerleading will keep me from going into a bad crowd."

And also, let me just warn you: your mom is scared of you going down the wrong side, doing drugs, going at an extremely fast pace, making major, irreversible mistakes. Don't abuse her trust, scope out the good and bad kids early, don't get a bad rep, DON'T HANG OUT IN THE DRUGGIE ZONES!! YOU WON'T REGRET THIS, TRUST ME.

As a friend, Em, I just want to tell you that your mom has a reasoning behind this, and you have to prove yourself to get what you want. I hope that this all works out for you.

Good luck. Victoria

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Answer 3

Wow. No offense, sweetie, but this is not THAT big of a problem...it may seem like it to you because you are so young, but when you look back at it, you will probably laugh at yourself for getting so worked up about it. There will be much more difficult things you will have to deal with later in life.
And I know you don't want to hear this, but if your mom really doesn't like your friends, she probably has a reason.
We teenagers never give our parents enough credit...I am 17 and when I look back and see some of the stuff I've done, I go "Wow I should have listened to my parents". As a matter of fact, I had a friend that my mother did not like and didn't want me to hang out with, and I never listened to her, but then, this "friend" of mine showed her true colors, and is really quite evil. So, listen to your mother, take her word for some things. She is much older, and much wiser than you, and much more so than you give her credit for.

If you really do want to do cheerleading, and not ROTC, though, sit and have a MATURE conversation with your mother. That means no whining, no begging, no crying. Act like an adult and she is more likely to treat you like one...which means she will take you more seriously and maybe consider letting you make this call for yourself.

But, by your description, I can tell that you are very upset, so just take time to calm down...if you act childish about this small problem, you will never get your mother to let you handle bigger ones.

Answer 4

I think... you should watch A Hard Day's Night and Help! and all the adorable videos on Youtube, then listen to your favorite album. But, being serious- you should talk to someone else. Maybe an aunt or teacher or someone that can a) Talk to your mom or b) set up some kind of appointment. Still, AHDN can't hurt!

Answer 5

Um, excuse you? What do you think is so bad about ROTC? I'm doing ROTC next year AND colorgaurd. I have no answer for you. If she wa salready picking you up from D-Hall then you shouldn't be able to do what you want. I've seen from your other totally childish questions that you are a BRAT. You don't need anything right now except a good grounding.

Answer 6

You probably shouldn't ask her to do these things when she is picking you up from D-hall. She's probably mad at you for the reason you are in D-hall. If she wants you in ROTC, she probably thinks you are headed for trouble and wants to fix it. If you want to change her mind, you should spend less time in D-hall and more time on you school work. Once she sees you are willing to be responsible, she will probably let you do the things you want to do.

Answer 7

Emawee, this is EXTREMELY DISTURBING. How can your mom not see you want to do cheerleading. She is confusing what she wants vs. what you want. You should let her see you practice cheering to see how much you love it. Cheerleading is for good, popular kids. I wish we could do it together because my tryouts are this Thursday. Tell her lots of girls are in the squad and not just the few she does not like. Now my daddy was talking about sending me to military school a few months ago, but he decided on being more a strict daddy and sending me to charm school instead. Who would ever want to go to ROTC? Tell her you won't get in trouble so much or you will try to do better at school. Tell her to get you some help for your depression and ADHD. She needs to do her job. Thank you and good day,

Answer 8

UGH!!! Your mom stinks!!! All u can do is pray. I know you're not religious whatsoever. But now, it's the only thing to do. I know your gonna curse me out or something. But it's the only thing to do!!! I'm just like u. Only a Christian. Well, if u don't like writing, too bad. The way I see it, if you write a letter to your mom, and give it to her, then she can't yell at u. Say...

Hey mom, listen. You've been not such a good mom all my life. I want to move back with my dad. Why don't u like my friends? And it seems like you always put your boyfriend before me. I'm not a bad kid at all!!! I'm really a good kid. And I do love cheerleading. Even if my friends hated it. I'm not one to follow the crowd. I love cheerleading. Maybe you can spend some more time with me. That way, you would see well, me. And how I'm once again, NOT A BAD KID!!! I don't want to go to ROTC. It's just not me. I want you to know that I love you mom. And I wish you would just trust me like a normal loving mother. Alright, that's it.
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You can revise it anyway u want to get your point accross. Alright, I hope I helped!!! : )

Answer 9

is d-hall detention? hello you can't convince her this is good for you if you are getting in trouble!!! come to a compromise, she wants what's best for you so make momma happy

Answer 10

I applaude u Lori

i couldn't have said it better =)