My ex-husband has had anger issues and won't get help. He always portrays himself as the victim. The girl and I have been trying to get away from him for years. He has been abusive. He has not supplied them with enough money for all the things they need.
2007-05-01 11:54:51 · 13 answers · asked by bianca s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You'd need to put them through some kind of court procedure as to why they shouldn't have to see their dad. You could ask that he attend anger management classes....that you fear for your daughters. They have a right to say which parent they want to be with, but it gets real sticky when you don't follow divorce decrees as far as visitation. Ask an attorney online for free what your options might be.
2007-05-01 11:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean to say girls, or is one a boy? It isn't easy to have a relationship with an adult person that portrays the victim. It's even harder when it's someone that is suppose to be an example of strength. It appears that you are away from him. Instead of giving him the advantage to claim this tag he wants to wear, his children are old enough to say honestly to him the reasons for their reluctance. was the abuse towards all of you, or was it to you? I ask this because then your children have an actual right not to see him. They are the victims. This is not an equation that you fit into any more. This is between father and children, grown but his... perhaps hearing first hand from the lips of babes he will try to make the attempt for a healthy relationship with them. they are too old to worry about his opinion of whether they are hurting his feelings. they laws are pretty spelled out when it comes to family separations. But remember that in the end what ever they decide has to be of their own volition, and not the old pent up memories of a bad time that Mom harbors..
No one deserves to be abandoned based on another personal experience. It has to be on their good or bad merits that they share with Dad... Good Luck Kids...
2007-05-01 12:52:33 · answer #2 · answered by sweetdreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your children are old enough to speak for themselves, I wouldn't make them see them if that is not what they want. Contact the court and let them know of his abusive behavior, take pictures, obtain witnesses and make a police report and file a restraining order. By all means keep the kids away if they are in danger.
2007-05-01 12:06:00 · answer #3 · answered by Centered 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think so. What are you going to do? Hold a gun to their heads and tell them to go see Daddy? They're becoming adults now and they should be able to make their own decisions about such things. It your ex wants to maintain a relationship with them, he will have to change his behavior. Maybe if the kids refuse to see him that will be the catalyst for him to take an objective look at himself and change? It could be a good thing for them to refuse to see him. Perhaps in long run it could strengthen their relationship with their father.
2007-05-01 12:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ronin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!! I would say that the kids are old enough to decide if it is better for them not to spend time with their father. Why put them through anything that they don't feel comfortable with? That could cause issues with how they are towards you if you make them do what they don't want.....at least where this topic is concerned. :)
2007-05-01 12:32:04 · answer #5 · answered by ariel_okinawa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not unless the court says so! The children are NOT allowed to make that decision. If they do not want to continue their visitation, do it legally through the courts or risk being charged with parental interference.
2007-05-01 11:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 15 & 17 your kids are old enough to say if they want a relationship with him or not..
2007-05-01 12:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This isn't about money right, this is about anger. Make sure that you remember that when you talk to your kids about their decision. Make sure that you stick to that line of thinking when you stand by the kid's decision. They are old enough to know what they feel comfortable with.
2007-05-01 12:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by Marisa M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i was in the same situation when i was 15. legally, kids arent supposed to be able to choose until theyre 18. but its the worst thing to drag them to their fathers house because they will only become more miserable and theyll brew a greater dislike of him. just let them have their time to get themselves together. i saw my father for dinner about three times a month. and as i got older, i saw him more. if he has hurt them, itll take time for them to get over it.
2007-05-01 12:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by blondestar134 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fine by me...these are NOT children by any means....they are old enough to know what they want to do, and who they want to see. If he had been any kind of father, they would want to see him...or...have you poisoned them against him? If so, you are a bad girl! I have no answers, except that why make them do something they will not enjoy.
2007-05-01 11:59:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋