2007-05-01 11:52:06 · 40 answers · asked by tammy d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
A true friend or lover will be able to accept you for yourself. That being said, being in a relationship does require change from both people and sacrifices. You both need to think of yourselves not only as individuals but also as a couple, loving each other for your differences as well as similarities and compromising and sacrificing for the benefit of your partner and your relationship. My husband and I have been married for 19 years and do still try to "change" each other - and we are constantly changing ourselves to try to make our relationship better, so it can hopefully last forever, but it does take some work.
If you truly think you have changed all you want to right now for your relationship and think that your boyfriend is still too demanding about change, you may want to re-think your relationship, as even those relationships that begin with couples thinking they wouldn't change anything about the other person take work to maintain, since we are all constantly changing as we get older. You wouldn't want to start a relationship and find yourselves growing apart more and more each year.
2007-05-01 12:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by mmct21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say overprotective, I say controling. When someone early in a relationship says that you should change to be more like what they want (especially if you don't want to), then that is a red flag awaving in your face. Take some time out and ask yourself - why does he want to be with me if I have to change to suit him?
This kind of guy wants to change the way you dress, then doesn't like your friends, or your family, then doesn't want you going out without him, then ends up making all the decisions about your life, and woe betide if you should disagree. He ends up isolating you, so he's in control of you life.
You have three choices -
Step back and say "I'm my own woman, love me as I am or go"
Change for him and wonder if you are ever going to be good enough - because he will keep upping the stakes.
Or just wait and see what comes of this.
I know what I would choose, but its up to you.
2007-05-01 12:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship NOW.
Anyone who wants you to be "a certain way" that is not who you really are isn't in love with the real YOU; he is trying to make you into what he wants.
Boyfriends who are "over protective" often turn out to be husbands who are abusive -- men who don't let you talk with your family or get together with your girl friends.
Break up with him and start seeing other people. He needs to mature, and you deserve someone who appreciates you for who you ARE.
2007-05-01 11:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by cardtapper 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When people use words like over protective I get iffy. Why is he overprotective, have you been hurt before. Is he maybe jealous? Now that sounds a little better. Wants you to act a certain way? Like he wants you to only move when he says or he just wants you to act like a lady? Now I'll draw my own conclusion......If you love your boyfriend and am uncomfortable with the way he treats you, you need to address this with him, If he gets loud and argumentive you need to nip this in the bud. Get out before your struggling to get away 10 years from now. Men like this want their woman to conform to his likings if it's not harming you then go with the flow if you feel like a prisoner.....LET GO!
2007-05-01 11:58:26 · answer #4 · answered by cutie_pie28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you do? You dump him quickly. Being with an overprotective guy will only cause you a lot of heartache & pain in the future. That pain can also be physical in nature. He'll tell you what to wear, how to wear your hair & makeup, who your friends can be, etc. He will have such a mental hold on you, you won't know what end is up. Trust me, I was in your shoes once. I woke up before it was too late & cut all ties with him. Don't ever let someone try to change you into someone you aren't!!!!!!!! Talk to your mom about this b/f & tell her how it is between you & him. She needs to know, if she doesn't already.
2007-05-01 12:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him. Sounds like he wants to tell you what to do. He is just your boyfriend, not your Daddy. I've been married 20 years and my husband has never told me what to do. If you don't want to be a certain way for him then no reason for you to stay with him.
2007-05-01 11:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. If he's possessive and can't accept you as is, he's not a very good boyfriend. He may even start to hurt you sometime down the line, as overprotectiveness and a need to control are some of the first signs of an abusive guy.
2007-05-01 11:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Inquiringmind 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he may be young... Is he under 20? It is quite common for young males to be over-protective or controlling. The way to fix it is to tell him that you can't take it, and that if he doesn't stop, that you will break up with him. If he still doesn't stop, then break up with him, because it is unfair to you. After enough girls break up with him for acting this way, he will let it go.
2007-05-01 11:58:41 · answer #8 · answered by Nick D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He either accepts you as you are or he doesn't. If he chooses not to accept you as is, it's time to get a new boyfriend. Men with strong control issues often turn out to be abusers. That not a situation you want to be in.
2007-05-01 11:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by yet_another_realist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a sign of an abusive relationship. If you havent talked to him about it, you should.
If he dosnt change, warn him, and then leave the relationship.
You cant change who you are to make a partner happy, they should except you, and who you are and learn to live with it. Other wise, you shouldnt be together.
I recomend just talking about it. and if it dosnt work, possibly leaving the relationship.
Do what makes you happy, and what you think is right.
2007-05-01 11:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋