My gf is 5 months pregnant and she dumped me and I love her very much. I want to be married and have a family. She is 24 and so am I and we have been together 2.5 years. I have no doubt her overprotective mom is filling her head. But I cant sleep, havent eaten in 4 days and lost 18lbs, I shake, cry, irritable, hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, no energy and just feel like crap. The doc today diagnosed me with depression, anxiety, and insomnia. I cry and pray every night to get through this and we be ok. I leave her a little email note wishing her a good day and that I love her and she does read them because I have checked. I care about her and want to be together as a family more than anything in the world. I am just going to give her time and pray for the best and try to get better myself. I may try to call her in a week or two. I want her to know I will be there for her and that I am not leaving this child.
2007-05-01 11:36:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think and I am not sure but I believe she still loves me but she is caught between a rock and a hard place. She has hormones raging, a mom telling her I wont be there but nice towards me, me telling her I want to be there and her absolutley not sure who to believe.
I made a huge mistake of saying lets wait for marriage. I told her if she wants marriage than that is fine and we can proceed but I think she is filled with a lot of worry and anger right now. Angry at what? I dont know.
2007-05-01 11:43:26 · update #1
Well earlier this year my dad had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery and she broke up with me once and I think that was hormones and then I learned she miscarried but a couple of months later we got back together and she found out she miscarried only 1 of the twins she had. I was happy as can be about becoming a father again and was till getting over the miscarriage. So I have had a lot happen to me this year.
2007-05-01 11:46:34 · update #2
her hormones are crazy right now wait until a few months after the baby is born then re-visit the issue.
in the mean time don't do anything you might regret.
2007-05-01 11:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by control 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm kinda in the same boat. I'm 2 mos pregnant and dumped my boyfriend, thats because he has legal issues and many other problems. Do you work? Have your own place or shared a home? Maybe she's just freaking out right now and needs time to adjust to the new baby coming into her life. Don't push to hard or you might drive her away. Tell her you miss her and your here for her when she needs you. I know how you feel but, don't get to clingy. Most of all don't start a war between you her, and her mother. She will feel like she has to pick a side. You don't want that. E-mail her a few times a week but, back off too. Go on working and doing what you do. Calm down, remember either way you have to be there for the baby. If or when she comes to you you have to be strong.Good luck
2007-05-01 11:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 25 and 5 months pregnant and I have to say, I give you props for actually wanting to be there for the child. You are a really amazing person. So many guys these days up and leave the Mother to care for the baby all on her own. It's really sad. My advice to you would be, try counseling for a while and after you get your thoughts together, try to have small visits with your gf. Nothing to overwhelming for her. Sit down and talk about how you feel, how much you love her, ect. Remember to give her compliments too, us pregnant girls love that. We also really adore affection too and if you're excited about the pregnancy, that's even better because a lot of guys these days aren't. Something that would really surprise her would be, read up on how her pregnancy is doing. Go to the local library and pick up some books and try to understand what changes she's going through mentally and physically. It will make her very happy that you're trying to understand where she's coming from. I'm sorry about the ordeal with her Mother, it must be putting a big strain on things. Try to talk to your gf when the Mother isn't around. I know that having parents around during serious discussions when it comes to relationships can be a hassle because they always want to interfere sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. I hope everything goes well with you. Godbless and take care sweetheart.
2007-05-01 11:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by Miley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is all very nice. My question to you is what did you do to your pregnant girlfriend to make her break up with you?
I have broken up with my boyfriend since I've found out I was pregnant and I'll tell you why:
He was acting and doing immature and dangerous things.
He was being incredibly irresponsible.
Having him around was of no benefit to me, only thing it was doing was giving me stress.
I have gotten back with him as he has been trying to change for the better.
I can tell you from my experience and my experience alone because I don't know your story or why she is upset, but being alone and pregnant was not my lifes dream, but I would have kept it that way rather than to have to deal with his B.S.
You have to look inside yourself and see what you might be doing that possibly pushed her away.
Are you acting irresponsible?
Are you helping her?
Are you making her feel more crappy about herself than maybe she already feels?
Are you going to help support the baby?
Are you playing games with her?
Are you being supportive?
Are you doing things to make her feel left out?
Are you being too overprotective?
You really need to find out what the root of the problem is if you intend to fix it, but there are two possibilities:
1.Too much damage has been done and she is not willing to try again. In that case respect her and move on.
2. You are going to have to put forth a huge effort to find out what the problem actually is and fix it. It takes work.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-01 11:48:15 · answer #4 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to get yourself together first without your gf. I think that your condition - depression, anxiety etc - is what has put a strain on the r'ship in the first place. Its not your fault, its not anybody's fault, but it sounds like your gf is unable to cope with it anymore.
If you were able to get help - maybe speak to a doctor about therapy (i am not a fan of medicating for depression but i guess it could be necessary in certain cases) you will be in much better shape to care for and look after your wife and baby.
And yes continue to pray to God for assistance and He will come thru for you, but please focus on yourself right now. Good luck bro.
2007-05-01 11:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by Chimera's Song 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just wait and see. Girls have their mood swings too. Especially pregnant women. If her mother is filling her head with things, prove to the GF that you do want to stay and take care of the baby. Buy baby clothes, a crib, stock up on diapers and do what ever else comes to your mind. Don't forget to take some personal time and try to talk to the GF alone if possible. I'd be glad to have a man that would stay and take care of his child. So I give you my deepest respects and a standing ovation. Hang in there and don't give up!!! Don't propose unless she wants you to, (talk to her about it first) because this could make her feel overwhelmed and she could push you away even further.
2007-05-01 11:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by sheelf18 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being pregnant is a highly emotional time for a woman. She is feeling very vulnerable and confused, not to mention the fact that she often can't control her own emotions. I can't tell you how many times I swore I was going to leave my husband during my pregnancies. She just needs to know that you love her and are there for her. This is your child too, and if you continue to support her and care for her she will realize that having her baby's father around is the best thing. You should probably also prepare to propose. When she comes around it will help her feel more secure in your future together.
2007-05-01 11:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by e_imommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK first of all you need to eat in order to make clear decisions. Then you need to learn your legal rights and present them to her about custody. That may change her mind. I think your best bet is to talk about how an unborn child already has a problem if parents arent going to be together and doesnt she want her child to have an intact family? But as I say, first you need to get back in the shape to do this wisely. I am so so sorry for you. I hope your Doctor gave you something for sleep. So Sleep, Eat and then move forward with a plan after learning legal options, ok?
2007-05-01 11:42:44 · answer #8 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bless you, you must be in a really awful state like anybody was. I left my partner when I was three months pregnant and I still put it down to hormones and depression at the time. Its weird how our bodies make us feel when we are pregnant. Keep offering support and be there for the baby when it arrives! Don't be too pushy but let your present be known! Good luck!
2007-05-01 11:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by Gem Lou 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good for you, you have already been to see the doc. Seek out other help from a professional, a member of the clergy or an old trusted friend. Most young friends are not equipped to help you or advise you, but a parent or grandparent is wise and someone you can trust.Your last few sentences are really good advise to follow. Just stick with it!!
2007-05-01 11:43:13 · answer #10 · answered by L S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, you just concentrate on getting stronger yourself. It's very overwhelming for you at the moment. Do what the doctors tell you, and soon...you'll be able to put things back into perspective. Take care of yourself so you can take care of the baby when it comes! Good luck!
2007-05-01 11:39:14 · answer #11 · answered by quoth_the_Rav3n 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋