My wife and I were married for 9 years, together for 11. She was diagnosed with a mental illness almost a year ago. Ever since then it was "poor me" from her. Things got really rocky and she moved out and filed for divorce. After 7 months we had great communication and our 2 kids were doing fine. Now the kids are really struggling and she says she is "in love" with someone else. She met him a month ago. She says he doesnt know. Is that possible? How do I get her to see that I am Mr. Right? The day before she met him she said she loved and missed me and wanted to come home. I am desperate here!
2007-05-01 11:34:42 · 9 answers · asked by dstork40 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should have been more supportive whilst your wife was ill and now she has someone new, you're having difficulty dealing with it. I'm certainly not blaming you, just telling you how I see it from what you've said.
If things don't work out with this guy, who knows you may get another opportunity and this time, be aware that she's not well - she has a diagnosed mental illness and needs all the help she can get. Good Luck!!
2007-05-01 11:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i was in a similar situation, my hubby recently left me and moved on real quick with someone else. It felt real good to hear that he wanted me back and he also admitted he made a mistake. But I would never take him back. Sounds like you love your wife and she still loves you but the issues yall had seems pretty serious maybe she feels that the other person understands her. Not saying you don't but just look at things through her perspective. Always put the shoe on the other foot . I found that out the hard way because thats what happened to me i was taking my marriage for granted. But if you want your wife back IM all for it . but one thing is dont be too pushy women dont want that first off just start by talking and listening to her be her friend. good luck
2007-05-01 11:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by TEXXBRATT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what your wife's mental illness is but it sounds like she is having problems with impulse control. If she is bipolar that is common and is fixable. Did you support her emotionally when she found out that she has this condition? Does she take medication? Is she seeing a therapist? Sit your wife down and tell her that you know that things are rough right now and that you do love her and still would like to make this marriage work. If she is still adamant about not coming home then there is nothing you can do but take care of your self and your kids and hope that she is taking care of her self. Even if she chooses not to come be with you still try to at least keep a civil relationship for your kids.
2007-05-01 11:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has an infatuation with another person, not "LOVE." Let her know how you feel, that you want her to come home. Ask her NOT to throw away an 11 year relationship over what is probably an infatuation! You cannot truly love someone after only one month because you don't truly KNOW them yet. It takes alot longer than one month to know someone. Let her know how you feel, point out her infatuation to her, ask her to come home and if/when she does, get some family and marriage counseling. It sounds like she is very confused about what she really wants and needs the mental help.
2007-05-01 11:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you said "poor me" there it is, just hearing that tells a lot
about what you did to make her want to move out.Do you men realize how much of the "poor me" you use on use.What
happens when you get sick do you not lay in bed acting like your dieing how about the dentist and the needle he gives you
do you not want to be put to sleep just to have a tooth pulled.
I think you no where I'm going with this.She just wanted to see
how much she meant to you,see if you would take care of her
if need be.Instead of coming to her rescue you saw weakness.I think I have busted your balls enough you get the meaning.You need to tell her you didn't understand what she was going through and you realize just how badly you acted.
You need to walk in her shoes for a day just to see how you would of reacted by getting earth shattering news like she did.
2007-05-01 12:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her out dude...
make preparations, find some romantic stuff that would win over her heart back.
Don't be cocky nor shy.
and like always... it's all about timing.
Show her how you feel.
Show her your THE man.
And.. I really don't know what the reason for your wife to leave you in the first place...
...but don't do it again. and you need to some how appeal to her that your a changed man.. as to you won't do whatever she didn't like again.
good luck
2007-05-01 11:50:08 · answer #6 · answered by Air 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people can not see a good thing when they got it.That is alot of time invested in someone and for them to just walk away like that is beyond me.Keep your chin up and your head high ,because everyone deserves to be happy with or without her .remember that and good luck!!!
2007-05-01 11:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by Amy H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want her back just be nice to her and maybe she'll see what she lost.
2007-05-01 12:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time. time heals all. she will be back
2007-05-01 13:28:37 · answer #9 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋