I have to go past a persons desk at work each day who I once got on well with, but who now makes a point of ignoring me by not replying to my greeting ect. I feel as if the person is insulting me in front of other people. Should I say something, or pretend it isnt happening, or what? I am a quiet person and can attract this type of slight more than I would like, and have found in the past it can spread to others who have observed the first slight. How do others deal with this type of issue?
2007-05-01 11:15:14 · 20 answers · asked by pete the pirate 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
The easiest thing to do is to avoid that persons desk and if it is impossible, then just look straight ahead and don't say a word to them.
I think in about a weeks time you will get the answer to all your questions. Usually the person doing the ignoring hates it when they are being ignored. So i believe they will blow up and say something.
2007-05-01 11:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
My boss is a psycho. Some times she likes everyone and sometimes shes a jerk. She thinks shes queen of the world. If your not kissing her but, she ignores you and you're no longer on her "favorite" list. So generally I ignore back but lately I've become a little snappy whipper snapper myself. For instance I got out of work 20 minutes early the other day, and she said, "Good, go get the merchandise from out back." And I knew she was only being a snob, so I replied, "OH the merchandise that you were supposed to get yesterday but was too lazy to get?" And I poured a cup of coffee and ignored her glares. Next thing I know she's out back slamming stuff around. So the point is, ask the person what the heck is going on. You're no ones door mat! When I am on my bosses "Sh** list, I walk right by her with a big grin and say, "Well good moring and how are you this lovely day?" Right in the face. She has no where to turn! She must say something back! :)
2007-05-01 11:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by Billiebaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When there is not a lot of people in the office just go over while he/she's not busy and just say," I don't know what's happened in the past but I would like to start over and have a well done friendship. To deal with this type of issue confront the situation and talk to the people, talk over some coffee. Whatever the problem don't confront it in a mean jumpy way, let it just crawl through and give it time.
2007-05-01 11:27:20 · answer #3 · answered by none 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am thankful. If I believe I've done nothing wrong to this person to the point they cannot return a greeting....so be it. I also believe that anyone that goes along with the original jerk, and cannot confront me...then, they are no bit better.
I would stop all greetings. Don't let their problem effect you or your job. I am mainstream in my paths at work...so I have little chance to chat. It may be terrible, but maybe not. Ya can't take the lousy crap people want to whip up. Give em your own brand of justice and walk on by. Chin up.
2007-05-01 12:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by Dgirl97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them back. They obviously don't want to talk to you, so grant them their wish. But make a point of saying "hi" to everybody else, so they know that you're a nice person. In fact, if there is someone standing near this other person's desk, make sure to give them a big greeting when you go by, but ignore the original person. Let them wonder what's going on. But to avoid having this person poison your office relationships, break out of your usual pattern and be an outgoing, friendly person who always says hi and is helpful. It will drive the original person up the wall :)
2007-05-01 11:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It takes a bit of guts, but humour is always a good tool. You could ignore them too, but that isn't going to solve the 'spread situation' DONT show that it bothers you, because it shouldn't they are the ones who are being rude. You have to make it look like the other person is the odd one out, you could try laughing at them when they ignore you , people hate being laughed at, and then after a few days don't say hello ar all. hope it gets better for you.
2007-05-01 11:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by samootch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are going through this experience. It sounds like it's hurting you very much.
The person who is ignoring you is not being a jerk. You must have done something to hurt this person and now they do not want to be around you. When people get hurt they tend to shut you out physically (turn away from you, won't meet your eyes), mentally (act like you're not there) and emotionally (ignore you). A lot of times they are not doing this deliberately. They are just reacting to the hurt feelings that your presence brings up. Don't you now feel uncomfortable when you are around this person? They feel uncomfortable around you.
If you want to be friends with this person again, then pick a moment when the two of you are alone and just say, "I'm sorry if I've done something to upset you." and let them tell you what the issue is.
If you do not want to be friends with this person anymore, then just ignore them.
You may think that it's the other person's problem, because they are ignoring you. But, maybe you hurt them so much that they can't be around you. Hurt simmers under the skin and turns to anger then hatred. The longer you let it simmer the harder it will be to heal this relationship.
2007-05-01 11:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Say screw them and talk to those willing to listen and respond to a nice greeting. It is just that simple. They dont put food on your table, money in your pocket, they dont make or break you having or keeping your job so fuc them. If their making you look bad in front of other coworkers by making smart comments make one back. say "VERY CLEVER" or "ARE YOU FINISHED YET" or say "WOW MUSTVE TOOK YOU ALL DAY TO COME UP WITH THAT ONE". theyll get the picture and back off. Im a natural born bytch i dont have those problems cause everyone i work with knows im a little on the crazy side. Im their to do my job not friendly bob with a bunch of back stabbers that i wouldnt dare hang with on the outside but i do give respect when it is given. When you act like a push over thats how you will get treated. I wish you the best of luck with this situation.
2007-05-01 11:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by meka g 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always feel that confronting issues and getting to the bottom of things helps clear the air. Just ask why she is ignoring you or why she is upset, etc. i know it might be difficult asking seen as you are shy but it is better to ask and find out then to continue working in that awkward environment.
2007-05-01 11:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by Widgi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with being ignored is always to simply not care about it. Just go on with your business. If something that insignificant can get to you then of course your other peers will start to look down on you.
2007-05-01 11:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋