I like this girl, she is everything i look for. She likes the same things i like, she comes from the same town that i do, i like to be around her and she seems to feel the same. Only thing is, she is Single and i am married (unhapply). my wife just wants to sit at home and do nothing. this girl wants to go everywhere with me, another thing is she is like my 3rd cousin by marriage, what to do ? (there is a 8 year old involved in marriage also)
2007-05-01 09:14:09 · 31 answers · asked by damjeepster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is always a better women out there. There are around 2 billion women on this planet.
You made a choice and you have to live with it. You do not have the right to even think about it. Never talk to the other women again. Take your wife and son out for some fun tonight. Latter, have a talk with your wife about the things you are not happy with. You have to work hard at a marriage.
2007-05-01 09:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by PJ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You STEP BACK and take a hard and long look at the meaning of commitment AND of marriage. It is NOT an institution to come in and out of like swinging door, when the mood strikes you or just because it may not be 'happy' at the moment.
I suspect that immaturity has a lot to do with your level of unhappiness - you still seem to be chasing the aura of romance rather than the love.
Your wife may be feeling depressed due to the state of your seeming uncaring attitude...remember marriage is not about hanging out all the time and having fun as singles....it is about building a meaningful life together. Yes, it can be great fun but BOTH people have to work at it and not have instant gratification expectations from each other. You must communicate your honest feelings; not point the finger and not be so willing to 'water' the grass on the other side.
Last but surely not least---
You mention an 8 yr old who would suffer for your whims....so my answer is NO
2007-05-01 16:19:02 · answer #2 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have some marriage counseling before you think about divorce. Just because you like this girl is not a good enough reason. What attracted you to your wife in the first place. Try to resurrect those things and feelings. Do you know why your wife only wants to stay home? You need to communicate, maybe divorce will be the end result but work on what you have first before getting into another relationship.
2007-05-01 16:22:25 · answer #3 · answered by KAREN P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GROW UP! Marriage is not perfect but it is supposed to be forever. Talk to your wife, work things out. You don't get a divorce because some other girl likes to go out and your wife doesn't. Sounds like your wife may be the mature one here, she has realized that she has an obligation to her family and life is not one big party...you have not. Make things work with your wife, you guys obviously loved one another at one time. The grass is the same color on the other side. Stop looking to other women for things your wife can provide for you. Stop talking to this other GIRL. That's just my opinion, but I've been there...I divorced my wife of 11 yrs and we remarried 2 yrs later...I wish for my kid's sake someone could have talked some sense into me.
2007-05-01 16:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is always going to look greener on the other side. Nothing is perfect, even if it seems that way. Try to stick it out with your wife; maybe tell her why you've been having a hard time with her.
Do everything you can do before you divorce. Someone who knows that you're married, but has an affair with you anyways is only going to bring pain in the long run. I know these words may be harsh, but please listen. And what about your little girl? Children of divorced parents go through more hell than people know.
2007-05-01 16:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by EmeraldFire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say try to work out the marriage. In fact, you need to look at why you're spending so much time with someone other than your wife anyway. Just know that it is easier to leave with NO REGRETS, knowing you did everything you could to save your marriage.
It's all about open communication. Talk to your wife and ask her why she sits at home. Her sitting at home probably means she's not happy either. Also, try to remember why you married her to begin with. I'm sure you loved her at one time, enough to marry her anyway.
Just be sure if you leave your wife, it is not FOR someone else. It needs to be for you, yourself. So, pretend like this single girl wouldn't want to be with you. Would you be happier alone than with your wife and child? That is the question.
TALK to your wife! Then you'll know what to do, or you'll at least have more information to make a decision.
Good luck!
2007-05-01 16:20:43 · answer #6 · answered by pro_vegas_voice 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ask yourself what you are going to do when that exciting honeymoon period is over. Sooner or later that excitement you feel now is going to end and you'll be doing the same things you do now. Do you actually ask your wife to do anything? Try taking her out on a romantic date. Suprise her with a sitter and a little weekend get away.
Besides that there is more to being married than going out and doing things. Do you do the things you're wife likes. Have you ever heard of the word compromise?
You dont say how old you are but to me you sound like you are having a mid-life crisis.
2007-05-01 19:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by tomarsha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you'll leave your wife for this chick because you're bored with your wife, what willl you do when you get bored with this new girl? Nothing lasts forever. And the fact that you say "girl" and not woman makes me think that you're older and this new girl is quite a bit younger? Maybe you should get some help with this...like a counsellor, perhaps? Someone you can really open up to?
You also say you "like" her....but you don't say you "love" her. Why would you leave your wife and child for someone you "like"? She's your cousin, too? that's kinda.....sketchy.
I'd say you should try to fix things with your wife before you up and leave. You must have loved her at some point, since you married her.
2007-05-01 16:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not divorce, just plan some time for you and this girl to go places including your wife in these ctivities might help her realize that you two need some fun times like this but without this other girl.Also try getting your 8 year old involved in these activities too, like take a nature walk in a local park,or plan a family picnic.You could follow this advice but rember DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT don't base this oppion on what other people would do.
2007-05-01 16:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find out if your wife is also unhappy. If that is true then you should end it on good terms for your kid. If she still wants the marriage to work you made a commitment and you should try to work it out. Stop talking to this girl and explain to her that you need to work on your marriage. Also the grass is not always greener on the other side. Life is to short to be unhappy but your child deserves a chance to be raised by both parents. Talk to you wife you must have loved her at some point. Give your mariage another chance and then if it doesnt work give yourself and second chance but please keep everything as normal as possible for your child.
2007-05-01 16:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Addison 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋