how can i get my wife of 20 years to stop treating me as if i was a child and start treating me like a person?

Question

i would like for her to treat me special like i do her but for some strange reason she can,t do that and it really hurt ihope that someone can help .

Answer 1

You need to do what a child would do. Leave the nest. Its your only option. She isn't going to change. Only you can change your circumstances. She isn't going to do it. I know its not what you want to hear,, but it is the truth.

Answer 2

You need to get your self worth back. This is going on for 20 years and maybe it's just a routine. She's probably so used to treating you like that and it may not change overnight.

Well, if you want it to stop and you will no longer put up with the way she's making you feel, then you have to discuss this with her. Nevermind, "for some strange reason, she can't do that". She most certainly can do that and you have to tell her that she has no choice, she will do it, if she wants a wonderful marriage. Tell her you have overlooked the way she's been treating you for too many years and now because times have changed, you want it to stop.

She is married to a man. If she doesn't love you and respect you as a man, then down the road that could cause marital problems. You can work it out, before it gets to that point.

Answer 3

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SPENT A ROMANTIC NIGHT JUST FOR THE TWO OF YOU......... WAITING??? OR TAKE HER OUT AND LET HER BE THE CHILD AND YOU THE ADULT, LIKE TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK............. WAITING??? OR HOW ABOUT THIS TRY AND FIND OUT WHAT ARE HER PET PEEVES......... WHAT SHE LIKE TO DO ? IF SHE TREATS YOU SO MUCH LIKE A CHILD, THEN LET SEE (A CHILD CAN NEVER MAKE UP THERE MIND AND STICK TO IT), (ALWAYS MAKING THINGS UP TO GET THE WRONG ATTENTION), HMMMMMMM ARE YOU ANYTHING LIKE THIS. THEN THIS IS WHY YOU ARE GETTING WHAT YOUR GETTING. YOU ALL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU PUT IN AND FOR 20 LONG YEARS YOU ARE STUCK BECAUSE THE NEXT WOMEN WOULD PROBABLY BE THE BABY OR/ CHILD AND YOU'LL HAVE TO BE AN ADULT. AND ONE MORE THING IF YOU DON'T STEP UP AND BECOME THE MAN SHE MARRIED, YOU JUST MIGHT LOOK UP AND NOT BE MARRIED ANY MORE. STOP LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S ANSWERS AND LOOK UP!

Answer 4

20 years? Come on my man - what have you been doing for 20 years that makes her feel like she has to treat you that way?

Ever picked up a sock? Remebered where your own damn keys are? Paid the bills? Remembered the kids' birthdays? Done the dishes? Or do you just let her baby you? If you do, then why are you surprised when she treats you like a baby?

Either she is an insecure control freak, or you are a lazy slob, or some combination thereof.

You can control the slob part by being more mature and responsible. You can work with her on the control freak part by saying "For every thing I do on my own, you have to go one day without treating me like a child. And here's what that means: asking me for help - letting me do things on my own - not cleaning up after me - not telling me how to drive. What ever it is.

That, or smother her with a pillow. Take your pick.

Answer 5

you may very well be 19 years and 364 days to late on that and if its a problem now why was it not all along?when i hear men complain about being treated like a child it usually means the wife had been handling every adult aspect of their life together and now he wants to be considered more,sorry not a man hater but the time to stand up and be counted was long ago.

Answer 6

Let's see..20 years and she has not changed..hmmmmmm! I suspect it will be much easier for you to change how you take this rather than her stopping...she is a natural mother, cannot help herself, has no idea how this comes across, regardless of what you say. So, turn it around as a caring, loving wife who likes to mother you...take advantage of it rather than putting it down. You can make it work in your head if you put the right spin on it. Good luck

Answer 7

If she treats you like a child, maybe it's because you are acting like one. In what way does she treat you like a child? Be honest with yourself. Do you leave clothes around? do you help with chores around the house without being asked? Do you take the kids out on a regular basis? When was the last time you treated her like a woman and not just the mother of your kids?

If you have kids and she spends a lot of time with them, she might be on autopilot and just treating everyone that way. Some women are just mothers.

Answer 8

in this relationship i think its part of the way of life you have been living in, it is goin to b hard to break the hadit of the way she treats as she has done it for some time, it wont change over night but it could change, you have to start by sitting down together and talking about the feeling you both feel for eachother, then you both have to write a list out of what you would like to change about the relationship and go on from there, its goin to be a long road to change it, good luck to you and hope it all works out for you

Answer 9

Stop acting like a child. Explain to her how you feel about her treatment of you. Stop taking it. Get counseling. She can stop treating you like a child, but perhaps she won't. Then you will have to decide if you take it or leave. You ALWAYS have options.

Answer 10

Tell her that you appreciate her concern and care and you know she means well, then communicate your feelings to her first, then change up. Take a more aggressive/assertive disposition without being condesending and without resentment. Smile, when she does it and politely assert yourself and restate your feelings. It'll take time but things do change. And more importantly believe that you are a person with likes and dislikes and ideas and dreams worth listening to and that you're ok and like everyone else you are entitled to your mistakes. Believe in yourself and people will believe in you.