I am so confused?

Question

I am working at a contract position right now. The company is moving their headquarters at the end of September. They want me to stay until then and are offering me a bonus to stay.

I am looking for a permanent job because then I will have benefits through the company. I am currently paying for COBRA benefits which are expensive.

My ex-husband has asked me to come and stay with my child in another state. He moved due to job reasons and wants me to stay in his house with the child for 2 more years until she graduates. She is living alone with her grandmother taking care of her now.

My parents are pushing me to stay here in the state where I live and not worry about my child. I am in a constant of worry for my daughter and its affecting my health.

What should I do? I want my priorities to be set right and do what is right...

Help!

Answer 1

A child belongs with a parent. Thank goodness Grandmother is there to pull up the slack for now - but it seems that neither you or your ex are thinking about your daughter here! Her well being must come first and foremost! Even if it means uprooting her to either your ex's location or to yours. I know it is difficult when a child is in high school - but sometimes you just gotta do what 'ca gotta do! You, yourself also need to be able to support yourself fully - including benefits. COBRA is wicked expensive. Your opportunity to join this company can offer your financial stability. You've got some options to weigh here. Even if you move to where your daughter is - you'll need a job at some point right? Are there opportunities where she is that are comparable to what you have now? This isn't really an easy solve! Get out the scale and start weighing your options - then make the most logical decision. I can tell you right now - not everyone will be happy. But everyone can agree to come up with a workable solution.

Answer 2

You have a lot on your plate, without knowing all the details, I can offer you advise based on what you have shared. First off, I think children are and must be our top priority. However, I dont think that living under the same roof with your ex-husband is the answer. I feel that doing that would result in your health deteriorating further from more stress, plus it would be unhealthy for your ex and child too. Possibly a move closer to your daughter would be good, but explore job possibilities first, as you need to support yourself. I believe you already know what to do... your body is telling you to make a good decision as well considering the physical signs of stress that are showing. Follow the path that you believe is best and everything will work out. Follow your heart and the best of luck to you.

Answer 3

What do you want to do? She is 16/17 why cant she come to you? Why would your parents tell you to not worry about your child, sounds like they are worried about you. Would moving cause you heartache? Ask yourself questions that will help you also.

However, you are the parent move your daughter home with you. If your ex cannot take care of her then it is your responsibility to bring her home.

Answer 4

From what you say your daughter is at least 16 very capable of taking care of herself, unless she is disabled. Family should always come first, I cant belive your parents told you not to worry... of course you worry, From what you said she is 16 and can possible care for her needs after school, go in sep if you need the money. IF not go now.

Answer 5

Go where your child is,and keep her, but get your own place. He is an ex, for a reason! Don't get under that same bondage again!

Answer 6

Your first priority needs to be your daughter.

Answer 7

Judging by the tone of your question, you already have the answer.

Go to your daughter.

Sandy

Answer 8

if this is your child...simply have them come and reside with you...u are their parent, correct?