I have some questions for all mothers....?

Question

Ok I'm a 20 yr old who will pretty soon be a mommy and even though I personally think that all women should have babies naturally, with no drugs, to feel what the pain is to become a mother and to make it all worth it I have a question; do u think that u should give birth naturally or with the epidural?? and why?? i know alot of u are going to say because u feel no pain but wouldnt u take a child alot more serious if u had it with some pain?? idk what do u think??

Yea i didnt mean for u to understand my question that way...I know at the end everything is worth it pain or not but some mothers that i know take there child for granted and take motherhood for granted also bc there was no pain involved after the epidural.

Answer 1

I don't think you HAVE to go through the pain in order to take your child seriously. Unless you are a messed up person, you will love your child with all your heart no matter what.
I've heard people say that it is wrong to get pain relief while pregnant b/c a woman is "supposed" to feel the pain, but I don't think that's true. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and if you want to get something to help you through it, or to make it easier on you then I think that is ok.
When I was pregnant I said I didn't want an epidural b/c I was afraid of the thought of a needle in my spine. But after about 6 hours of non-stop, intense contractions I was begging for one. I still remember the pain like it was yesterday, and getting my epidural helped me to rest long enough that I was able to push her out w/ ease.
Next time I have a baby I plan to get an epidural if I feel the need. Every woman is entitled to make that decision for herself and no one should judge a woman b/c of it.

Answer 2

Personally I chose not to have an epidural because I wanted to be able to move around. I labored in several different positions, was able to get up and walk around, hop in the shower/jacuzzi tub, etc. With an epidural I was told that I would be restricted and that I would not be able to move around as much (and the really big needle didn't help either!) There was also the slight risk of the baby not being as responsive because of the drugs - I didn't want to go there. But when it came down to having several hours of back labor, and none of the laboring techniques were working - the baby would not move - I must admit that I did consider an epidural. My son was born about 10 minutes later, so even if I had wanted one, there wouldn't have been time. Just don't get mad at yourself if you need one. Sometimes the pain, especially in back labor, gets so unbearable that you will do ANYTHING to make it go away. Towards the end there is nothing you can do, no positions, no breathing, no focusing, nothing, that will help you relax. Fortunately this does not last for very long (THANK YOU GOD) and you will soon have a baby in your arms. Good luck.

Answer 3

What does childbirth have to do with taking a child seriously? Think about it... it's your CHILD. Whether you give birth naturally, have an epidural, C-section or ADOPT, don't you think the child should be loved the same? I guess you lost me with your reasoning. That's sort of like when people think a wedding is more important than the marriage (I hope that's not your thinking too!)

Giving birth is not as much about your personal journey as it is about having a baby in your arms at the end. Try to make your primary concern about having a safe delivery. If you have a situation where you need to have an epidural or even an emergency C-section to have the child, don't feel guilty and think you "cheated" by missing out on having a natural birth. Get your child out safely!!

But here's the deal...many people in your life and even at pre-natal yoga & Lamaze classes, etc will tell you not to have the epidural. This is an unnecessary pressure on women!! If this were a man's decision and he had to give birth, the painkiller would be assumed!

If you want the natural experience, go for it. It's a personal choice. If you decide to use the epidural or other painkiller, that's ok too. And I'll tell you a secret... NO ONE HAS TO KNOW. It's nobody's business but your own (unless you want to include your spouse or partner in the decision).

Here's what I did: Let me begin with the fact that I have ALMOST NO FEAR OF PAIN. I decided to labor as much as I could at home. After taking an excellent pre-natal class at my hospital, I learned how to identify real labor and what to expect in terms of contractions. I never confused a false labor. So the moment I started real labor at about midnight, I left the bedroom so my husband could sleep and I labored in the living room. At 6am, my husband's alarm went off and I informed him that I was in labor and not yet ready to go to the hospital. I could tell my contractions were getting really close together by about 8am, so we left for the hospital (keep in mind that the pain was so strong at that point that I fell to the floor trying to get to the car).

When we arrived, I requested an epidural because I wanted to be able to relax and enjoy the experience and focus on the labor. It took an hour and a half for me to get the epidural and I was already in transition and had the shakes really bad. I gave birth within 2 hours of getting the epidural. I was able to slow it down enough that I could control the pushing and didn't tear much at all.

So, that's me. Keep in mind also that I had a textbook delivery....no major issues. If there's an emergency, the doctors make the choices for you.

Make your choice. Only you know what you can handle...and you may find you're wrong once you experience the birth. Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm hoping you just used the wrong wording with this question. Your comments are both insensitive and naive. The epidural is a great option for some women, but its not for everyone. I do think it's important for women to educate themselves on the risks associated with an epidural instead of just taking it at face value (which I fear has become the norm).

I do not feel that a mother is any less of a mother or takes her child less serious if she felt little to no pain during delivery. That's just silly. Even if you have an epidural, there is still pain afterwards. There are still sleepless nights spent caring for a newborn, etc. The physical pain does not make you a mother. The pain you feel when your little one is hurt or sick, THAT pain makes you a mother.

This will be a drug free delivery for me, but I didn't choose that route for the reasons you specified. It's a very personal decision and no one should be judged for choosing the epidural. Best of luck.

Answer 5

First of all there is ALWAYS Pain. Some women to not get babies out very easy. My sister in law had her baby in 3 hours..start of labor to birt=3hours. Well I went 10 before I had an epidural so I guess I had 3 of her labors before I even had an epidural. My doctor said my body would have gone out if I did not have an epidural....I was so exhausted it allowed me to get a little rest and build some energy up for pushing which by that time24 hours later let me assure you the epidura had worn off. So I had to push for 3 hours with now epidural and trust me I wish I had one...maybe I could have gotten her out faster. with my second I had an epidural as well and I felt it all but it allowed for a more controlled atmosphere. I had wanted to go natural as well but once I got the epidural I realized that I had made the right choice...you waste a lot of energy when you are screaming because the pain is so bad...Energy that you need. So I think if you have quick labors sure you can get through it without an epidural...the pain is fleeting. But even if you get one don't think that you won't feel pain because you probably will ..i did.
As far as taking it serious...you better take it seriously before youeven decide to get pregnant.

Answer 6

You do still feel some pain but it is just a little easier to make it through something that for me I could not bare. I tried, I went into it saying that I didn't want the epidural as soon as they asked but when I couldn't handle the pain anymore. So I got and epidural and that was right for me.

Some people would prefer to do it naturally and thats fine. But I dont think they deserve a medal for it by any means.
I have been asked by many have you had one yes I have and I wouldn't change it just to have them say to me well I did it naturally.

Let me ask you this, would you go to the dentist or have suregery without medication nope I didn't think so. So WHY on one of the most joyous days of your life wouldn't you want to be able to enjoy every second of it with as little pain as possible!!

And I take my children very seriously and the role of being a mother!! I love my children with all of my heart and that is not different for a mother who has had one or not had one!!


Being a mother isn't about what choices you have made for your child only but for you as well. Being a mother doesn't mean that you give up everything for them but grow with them, because without a happy healthy you what would they be left with.

I dont think that you should say that you personally think that they should do anythin everyone is entitled to theirown decision. You should be a little open minded dont you think, to all possibilities, what happens when they say ma'am you need an emergency c-section do you deny any drugs then so you can get the full experience??

I know mothers that do it naturally that still take there kids for granted. I also know moms that are in there 40's that dont care and moms in there teens that dont. It certainly not in an age thats just a number but in how mature you are. None of that matters and that is not a stepping stone of what kind of parent you are going to be that just doesn't make any sense.

Answer 7

I'm 24 with my first. I would think either or. I think a person who takes their child seriously will no matter what they get. I'm going to have an epidural on hand. But, I'm going to try natural child birth. I have many friends who have been able to focus more because of the epidural so it's how focused you are on your child. I guess it's how you look at it. My child has a chance of Downs. She is still my baby and I am focused as if she didn't have a chance. I think if a mother suffers from something as depression or just not caring or such she will do it with or without drugs. I take my child seriously because I have from the beginning. Mothering does not have to do with anything to do with an epidural in my opinion or those types of things.

27 weeks pregnant

Answer 8

Darlin' no matter if you go drugs, no drugs, vaginal, c-section, adoption....it doesn't matter HOW a baby comes into the world. All that matters is that they come healthy. I had an epidural due to emergency cesarean and my best friend went no drugs all the way....guess what? We love our children equally and have the exact same bond. How do I know that? Because now I'm a mother. My bond with the baby I carried is NO DiFFERENT than the bond a mom shares with an adopted child. By your standards...I should be more bonded than an adopted mother and someone who had their child without drugs is even MORE bonded to their kid than I am. If you want to go no drugs, that's great. But please don't think that feeling more or less pain will make you a better mom or allow you to take the child more or less seriously....it's about raising your baby that will determine that.

P.S. If you know mom's who take their children for granted...it's not b/c they had epidurals! It's who they are inherently and THEIR character flaw! Yikes, you are young if you think it's that black and white. Epidural=taking baby for granted. Huh.

Answer 9

I am almost 36 weeks pregnant with my second child. I was in labor with my daughter for 22 hours. The back labor was horrible and i couldn't take it anymore and asked for an epidural. I'm glad i did because i was able to focus on pushing and be involved with the whole birth process, including helping to catch her. She weighed 9lbs and 1oz. I think that if i had been drug free that i wouldn't have been able to push effectively and would have had to have a C section.
I am almost 36 weeks with my second, a boy. This is my last baby and i really considered going drug free through the labor. But this baby has been measuring large for date through the whole pregnancy and the OB thinks that he may weigh 10lbs at birth. SO in light of that I am planning on an epidural but I want to wait as long as a can. The hospital i am using has a policy that you can get an epidural up until you are 7cm so i would like to labor naturally as long as i can hold out.
I have my reasons for wanting pain relief, but there a lot of other pain relief options out there other than an epidural. Look into them and see if anything appeals to you. But do keep your options open if you can. If the pain to so extreme that it is actually hindering labor instead of helping it, be willing to accept help that is offered.
Good Luck and Congrats!

Answer 10

Just because you use medication doesn't mean anything is taken out of the experience. There is still pain and lots of it. having a child is a beautiful experience whether it's naturally with an epidural or c-section. Being pregnant for 9 months and bringing a child into the world is still worth it and you'll still take your child more seriously. at the end of it all once you see the child for the first time there is still an overwhelming sense of love and accomplishment. to me that's all that matters. If you have love than who cares how you had your baby. Your child certainly isn't. Good luck going it naturally. There's a lot of people who want to do that who always cave because of the pain. It's a lot easier said than done