I live in the state of PA. I've been with a man for 14.5 yrs, We have 2 kids together. never married. He was married and divorced and has 1 kid to her. She abandoned the child so noone knows where shes at. They were married May 1989-May 1993. God forbid if something happens to him. If it should, what are my rights? Does she get his pension or do I? I know my kids would be taken care of but I need to know where I stand. Any ideas?
2007-05-01 08:33:36 · 9 answers · asked by Frankie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have him make up a will. Marriage isn't the only security. Hell, if you were married, he could still leave you out.
Both of you need to meet with a lawyer, draw up will and get life insurance with each others as beneficiaries. Also name guardians of the kids incase both of you go. Some one who can hold your assests in trust for them.
I don't plan on remarrying but I would like a life partner and these are things I'd do.
2007-05-01 08:43:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is the understanding of "Common Law Marriage". This is a concept that as a couple lives together as a married couple would; that over a prolonged period of time there is a "de facto" marriage in existence.
Here is the specific detail for Common Law Marriages in Pennsylvania. A common law marriage is established in Pennsylvania by the exchanging of words between a man and a woman indicating an intent to be married at the present time.
2007-05-01 09:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by zax_fl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you would like to get married and make things legal. Share your very real concerns that if anything happens to either of you, either party would suffer great financial losses, because the partner is not the next of kin. Start trying to get stuff together financially and explain to him that if one of you passed away, the state would take alot from the both of you because you were not married and there are no provisions in the law for unmarried couples with children. Hopefully, he won't start acting ridiculous like many men do about commitment.
By the way, most of your things would go to his ex if they are still married or his kids if they are not. You would get nothing.
2007-05-01 08:54:34 · answer #3 · answered by oh really 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to an atty. to get good advise, for your state.
She won't get his pension if their divorced but I don't think you will either, unless your state has a common law statute.
Maybe he can will his pension to you? The both of you need to see an atty. to get things worked out.
Before you make the appointment, do the following
Make a list of questions you both will have for him
Make a list of assets
I would have a will drawn up, for each of you
His ex should hold no claims to anything he has after the divorce, unless it's in a will.
If he dies w/o a will she could sue his estate on behalf of her child for some of assets
That's why you both should make a list of what you each brought into the relationship.
Hope this helps
2007-05-01 09:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he can tell you that. However, you could research the laws of your state - some places, common law can be recognized as married. Everything else is dependent upon him, and what he chooses - as for insurance, pension, etc. Ah, another reason to get married!
2007-05-01 08:39:15 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is just my opinion, but I would not go through all that time, and kids!, with a man without marriage. Marriage secures you some rights and certain securities. Plus, it is the ultimate form of solid commitment.
2007-05-01 08:39:14 · answer #6 · answered by trancegoddess2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only his heirs (children) will get anything in the event of his death unless he has it stipulated that you will be giving it all. You're not legally married and you are not his heir. That's one of the "perks" of that marriage license.
2007-05-01 11:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u are not his wife...u get nothing...the better question is after 14 years and 2 kids -- why not get married??
2007-05-01 08:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't get squat, my dear, until he signs the documents making you his wife. After 14 years though, holy cow, how did you stay that long???
2007-05-01 08:39:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋