He is Mexican, I am Native. Yet I am Christian and he is Catholic- His family doesnt follow the Bible in regards to fornication and bastard children. Most of his of relatives keep having sex and kids outside of marriage and they all think this is great! I, on the other hand am horrified, as I was raised that you do no have sex outside of marriage much less kids, as its a HUGE sin. Each time we receive invitations to baby showers, or get this, BAPTISMS for these illegitimate kids, I cring, as I do not want to support these sinful happenings by going to these events, much less give them money or presents. Dont get me wrong, the KIDS are not a fault, as they didnt ask to be born from sin, but the parents are.
How can I say NO to these events and get out of going without causing a huge fight. (these occur with frequency, at least 3 times a year or more, as they are like rabbits and pop out kids alot) HELP!
2007-05-01 08:28:19 · 18 answers · asked by flyingdove 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am Native american- yes I have morals and certain beleifs and they dont include fornication nor having illegitimate children. I cannot pretend its ok nor ignore my beliefs as I cannot stand hypocrites either.
2007-05-03 08:40:09 · update #1
forgot to include that attending these events to me, is the same as saying I do approve of your lifestyle choices, whereas I do NOT, it also is supporting these choices, which I dont. Make more sense now?
2007-05-03 08:42:27 · update #2
in catholicism all u have to do is confess ur sins and u get a free pass. i would not go and if they did not like it too bad. i think ur right.
2007-05-01 08:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by david w 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. If you can be honest and open with ANYONE, it should be him. Ask him the exact question you asked here. Is it important to him that you attend these events? If it is, you need to take this into account, and respect his wishes. Like it or not, when you marry a person, you marry their family in a sense. You don't have to do things that you deem "sinful", but you should not be judging others either. Everyone lives their lives as they see fit, and for the sake of keeping peace in the family you need to get over your holier-than-thou attitude. Look at the bigger picture: your belief system is not the only one; many of them have come and gone, and many exist in the world today. Don't let your personal distaste keep you from reaching out to your husband and his family.
2007-05-01 15:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I know exactly what you mean... support the children, but not the adults making the mistakes. Find your own way to do this so you feel comfortable - such as sending a gift for the child when he or she is born, but not attending an "event" like a shower. You really have to talk more with your husband about this type of thing.
2007-05-01 15:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much you and your husband care about being close with his family.
I will say this and you're not going to like hearing it. I do not have children and never will so I have nothing to gain.
Unless you are afraid the behavior of these people will harm you or your children, or unless one of the family asks your advice about it, I would say their behavior is none of your business. Many Christians (and I am one...was raised Southern Baptist) do a lot of judging when it isn't their place. If anyone is going to judge the behavior of these people, it will be God. Just be thankful that what they do is not YOUR cross to bear. Go read Matthew 7:3 and then pray.
I don't mean to be harsh, really. I have said the same exact thing to my own family.
2007-05-01 16:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by K. F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a christian you need to ask God what it is he would have you do. Do you think Jesus would walk away from sin or do you think he would use these opportunities to show his love and mercy to those that others have deemed unworthy? Our job as christians is to try to win over all those that we can. It's easy to love the lovely but hard to love the unlovely. Look beyond the sin - God knows your heart - and, without sinning, participate in the activities/events. I don't think it is a sin to celebrate a new child's life through baby showers or baptisms and these could be good opportunities to reach out to others.
Frankly, if people would have shunned me when I was unsaved and still sinning like mad, then I would never have been saved, if that makes sense.
God has a plan - ask him what it is and then do it:):)
2007-05-01 15:33:40 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
His family being Catholic.Has nothing to do with having kids out of wedlock.Catholicism frowns on doing anything outside of marriage.So they aren't practicing Catholics anyway.It is more a issue of lack of morals that a issue of faith.You being Cristian may think that Catholicism allows for such behavior but it doesn't.So keep us Catholics out of it.Please.Has for going to your hubby's family events.I can understand you have your beliefs.But you can't tell other people how to live their lives.Besides being a family you still stick up for one another and be there for each other.You don't have to approve of their life styles.But since you married into this family you need to get off your high horse and participate in family functions.That is what we do for family.We support even if we don't agree.And by the way you aren't a very good Christian if you don't practice understanding and love for your fellow man.Doesn't you bible say something about not judging?Isn't that up to god to do not you?
2007-05-01 15:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Then I guess you are Miss Perfect and have never commited a sin. Dont be judgemental because in the long run you do not now if it will happen to you or your children. If its really a problem why havent you told him or his relatives that that is the way you feel. Is it because they wont like you. Get a life and stop worrying about everyone else. Worry about yourself and your sins.
2007-05-08 04:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by MZ. Latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it interesting that you describe yourself as a Christian, but your husband as a Catholic. Did it not ever occur to you that Catholics are Christians? Hello! I think you're being a religious snob. Attend the baptisms because this is when children are dedicated to God. It's God's place to judge these parents, not yours.
2007-05-06 15:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by majormomma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attending these functions doesn't only mean that you approve of this behavior. It means that you believe in your husband, and your obligation and desire, as his wife, to accompany him and be at his side. It shows your solidarity and commitment to your marriage and to your husband. You can't control what anyone does, all you can do is let your light shine so that people can see your goodness. By word and example, you can influence people to see the truth and value of good morals.
2007-05-06 23:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should look into you own heart, and find mercy for your husbands relatives. Attend the events and give gifts. Show christian love.
2007-05-09 12:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by candle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of family harmony, as well as religious tolerance, you need to suck it up and go. Going or giving presents doesn't mean you necessarily approve of the situation, but you weren't ASKED to approve. You also don't have to follow their train of thought. It just means you are part of the family and are there as a family member.
2007-05-01 15:37:11 · answer #11 · answered by kj 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋