This is the scenario......1 year ago I had a baby with a man (In which I found out after 4 months of conception was married) It pretty much turned my world upside down when I found out about the marriage. But I accepted it and went on with my pregnancy. After givin birth to my daughter he was very supportive. (And we continued to date and be intimate). When my daughter was 8 months old a woman called me (not his wife) and told me that she was intimate with him for the past 3 months!! It made me very upset so I called his wife and told her about our relationship and our daughter. It destroyed his marriage, They sold there home and he lost his job of 5 years after all the turmoil. I feel like I did so much damage, But he has not supported my daughter since I called his wife. WOuld I be wrong to put him on child support? Should I wait? Or have I done enough damage?This is the scenario......1 year ago I had a baby with a man (In which I found out after 4 months of conception was married) It pretty much turned my world upside down when I found out about the marriage. But I accepted it and went on with my pregnancy. After givin birth to my daughter he was very supportive. (And we continued to date and be intimate). When my daughter was 8 months old a woman called me (not his wife) and told me that she was intimate with him for the past 3 months!! It made me very upset so I called his wife and told her about our relationship and our daughter. It destroyed his marriage, They sold there home and he lost his job of 5 years after all the turmoil. I feel like I did so much damage, But he has not supported my daughter since I called his wife. WOuld I be wrong to put him on child support? Should I wait? Or have I done enough damage?
2007-05-01 07:53:11 · 16 answers · asked by inquiringsista 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
U should make him pay child support because he is the babys father. just because he is mad at you for telling his wife he cannot just stop taking care of his daughter!!! u have let him go on this little bit of time without paying and soon he is going to get comfortable with it and never send anything just because he thinks he can get away with it. his wife was going to find out about his sideline relationships eventually just because you told her before he did that doesnt make you a bad person that just means you are a real woman and know how to fix things when you mess up. and a little peice of advice about men in general... test them before you become intimate with them. ask them the normal questions but do some backgroung research for yourself. you know search the internet, ask around about him, see if he will let you meet some of his family members the list goes on and on. doing things like this just protect you from putting yourself in a vunerable place, especially now that you have a daughter, you cannot afford to make anymore mistakes. Make sure you put make him pay child support he needs to help you take care of your daughter.
2007-05-01 08:07:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've pretty much done it all but yes,he should support your daughter.
Why in the world did you continue to date this man and be intimate with him after finding out he was a married man?You not only ruined his life but yours and your daughters too.And what made you think you were the only one in his life besides his wife?Once a cheater,always a cheater.
Sounds as though it didn't make you feel any better after calling his wife.Revenge is not so sweet after all.You should have put an end to seeing him when you were four months pregnant and you wouldn't be feeling like you had done so much damage.Now there's not only you and your daughter but his wife and children also if they had any.
Certainly go after child support for your daughter.That may be all she ever gets from her father.I'm glad I'm not ther one who has to explain all this to her when she's old enough to understand.
Good Luck and may God Bless your little child.
2007-05-01 08:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only damage you have done is not cutting things off with a married man sooner. If you truley didn't know about his marriage, that's one thing, but once you do, you need to respect that and break up. Now that you didn't, you've gotten yourself into loads of trouble. Can't you see that this man doesn't really love you, that he just wants to use you? He's intimate with 2 other women. I think you're crazy for putting up with it, and yes I don't think you should regard in the least his feelings considering that he's broken 3 women's hearts. He should pay child support and you should leave him alone without anyone to love since that's what he has basically done.
2007-05-01 07:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by .:Blair:. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like he was on the road to destruction before you came along. Im sorry but i doubt you were ever the ONLY one......
You can work it 1 of 2 ways. Walk away and take care of your daughter along. Can you afford to support her without him or his help? If so, walk away.
Get a hold of the courts/child support and get his ***. He most likely has other children, and I am sure other women are getting him, might as well get what YOUR CHILD deserves. Its not her fault her dads like this. If i were you I wouldnt have gotten involved in the first place.
Think of your child, NOT YOURSELF and HIM, Get child support set up......and put the money away for her future(if u dont need it now).
2007-05-01 08:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by Christie E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should put child support out on him because child support is not for you or revenge but for your precious child. Even if you would rather not have the money for your childs bills,and can and would rather pay them yourself, put the money away for your daughter. she's going to need that for college or private school, heck maybe even dance classes who knows? but that money from him is not making you out to be the bad guy but a responsible parent as he should also be. No matter how many women he has or will get, your child will only have one biological father and that biological father should take care of your baby's physical,mental,emotional,and FINANCIAL needs! Even if he doesn't do the other things at least the law will make him take care of her in one way. He may not respect your decision but in his heart he would know that he wouldn't have given you one red cent with out the panties or the law behind you.Try to think of what would be best for your child and not so much about him and how it will affect him, he didn't care about you so put your energy into carring for your sweet baby girl. Keep smiling
2007-05-01 08:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by Cin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your child deserves to be supported. He made the choice to date you, have sex with you and you got pregnant. It happens. Don't worry about him. He is a grown man and sounds like he knows how to look out for himself but just can't keep it in his pants. Call your local Child Support Enforcement Agency and seek child support ASAP. The process takes time. They will assist you at little or not cost. Cut your losses with this loser and look for a nice unmarried or divorced man who is responsible and move on with life.
2007-05-02 02:36:05 · answer #6 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay....you didn't do the damage. He did it. You should most definitely file for child support. The relationship between you and him has no bearing on whether or not he supports his child. He is financially responsible for her, and should also carry her health insurance coverage. Don't be dumb - get the money to which your daughter is entitled for her care and well being!
2007-05-01 07:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did what you had to do, and it was not wrong. YES, get him for child support. He helped make the child, he needs to help support it, no matter the circumstances. Do not let guilt keep you from getting the help you deserve. After all, what favors is he doing you now? Why should you do him any?
2007-05-01 08:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by trancegoddess2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, put his sorry *** on child support!! He is a pig....plain & simple....cheated on his wife with you, then cheated on you & HIS WIFE with another woman!! I mean, I know we've all been naive, but wake up sweetie!! You should have put his *** on child support the minute you found out he was married, or the day the child was born.....he is a pathetic excuse for a human...ruining women's lives like that.....Get whats owed to you!!
2007-05-01 09:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by tracee2923 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is the child's biological father he should be paying child support. You would do your daughter a disservice to not collect whatever money you can to give her a good life. You should seek child support from him and try to include him in your daughter's life.
2007-05-01 07:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by Cynthia W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋