Naming after a dead child?

Question

I know this is probably going to get me different answers since everyone has a different (ethical, moral) stand point... But my fiancee wants to name our baby Alexia... I have always loved Alexia. The problem that I personally find is that a few years ago he was previously supposed to have a baby girl with his ex girlfriend, she tried killing herself and in the process killed their baby. They named her Alexia.

Is it wrong for me to think that maybe its not such a good idea to name the baby this? I don't want to feel like this is a replacement baby... I dunno i just don't like the idea of giving the name to our baby ( EVEN tho I love it). And there's always a chance i could be having a BOY!!! guess I'm overstressing it... What do you think?

Answer 1

What a sad story.

First of all, I think it is strange that he suggested naming your baby Alexia if it was a child he was to have with another woman.

In all honesty, I would never go for it if I were you. He must still be bothered about the death and that is perfectly normal but naming a second child the same thing would be way too much. I think that your fiance may even regret it later. It would be an everyday, in your face, reminder for both of you.

Finally, I see it as disrespectful to his first girlfriend (Alexia's mother) From what you wrote it seems she is still alive and if I were her it would feel like a slap in the face. Even though her own selfish actions caused her baby's death, it is still a dead baby and must hurt to think of.

It is up to you but there are mllions of names to choose from, why would you pick one with such a negative feeling attached.

Answer 2

I think you are right to have doubts.

The problem is, the key to the answer is what your fiancee is thinking, and none of us know that.

Try talking to him about it.

There is a big difference between having a "replacement child" and simply wanting to honor the memory of his other daughter.

If it seems to you that he does want a replacement--scrap the name! You can't put that weight on a child. The child's feelings are more important than his!

And yes, I agree Alexia is a pretty name.
How about compromising and using it as a middle name?

Answer 3

oooh, thats a toughy. Although I like the name Alexia as well, I could see your concern on the replacement baby thing. You need to do what is comfortable for the both of you. If naming this baby Alexia is only going to bring up bad memories of the deceased baby or the old girlfriend, it is not a good idea.

Maybe you could name it something very similar, like Alexis, Alexa or Lexiann. Just a few ideas. I know I wouild not be comfortable with it, But you need to think of his feelings, and go with your heart!

Answer 4

Well in my opinion i think you shouldn't name ur baby with a first name of Alexia. That is like she is a replacement. Idk how u feel about this but how about u name her with Alexia as the middle name. That way u could call her that if u really felt like it or u could just have it as the middle name and still call her the first name. Having it as the middle name would be a really nice memorial to the baby that died, or atleast i think so, but it would still let u use the name u love.

Answer 5

No, your not stressing. I would feel the same way. Have you talked about possibly using Alexia as the middle name to honor his late daughter? I think that would be the best answer and most fitting since most people give a middle name based on someone else in honor. I personally did.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i would feel weird about this as well. talk to him about it and see if he will understand where you are coming from. i can also see how this would be a sweet idea too, though. have you thought about using it as a middle name instead? or, some babies even have two middle names. just an idea. bottom line though is that if this makes you uncomfortable even after you talk to your fiancee and consider the possibility of using alexia as a middle name, then dont use that name. her name is for the rest of her life and you dont want to be uncomfortable with it as her parent

Answer 7

I don't think you're overstressing at all. You should sit down and explain to your fiance that maybe you can think of different girl names, for the sake of the memory of his lost child, know what I mean? Tell him it's a little unfair, and in my personal opinion unimaginative, to name your child the same thing. Maybe come up with some names that are similar sounding & have both of you be part of the decision, because it sounds like he's already got his mind made up, when you should be involved as well.
Good Luck!

Answer 8

Thats a tough one ... Hopefully its a boy& then that solves that but if not maybe tell him no disrespect but you would like your baby to have a name thats different .You could go for something similar that may be an option I guess its really up to you guys you need to talk this out a bit more & express your feelings. I personaly would not name my baby after someone elses especially under those circumstances the memories would always be right in his face

Answer 9

He already has a child named Alexia. She died early that's all. You going to name all your children Alexia?

Personally, I think you are nuts to be pregnant and engaged to a guy who already has shown his reluctance to commit to marriage!
Yeah, I know, you're special. (I'd be more concerned about which LAST name she will have.)

Nope, Alexia is taken.

Name her something completely different, and help him to get on with his life. Sticking with a name from the past will just keep[ him stuck there.
There was a girl my son was in love with in high school, named "Monica." My son planned to name his almost daughter "Monica" until all H broke loose over Lewinsky and Clinton. He is surely glad they didn't do that! Even today, she would be getting kidded/harassed.
Don't name him Alex, either.
Leave the past in the past. How about Hayden? Dana? Jill?
Good luck.

Answer 10

You need to name the baby what you and your fiancee are comfortable with. If it is going to bother you....which it must a little or you wouldn't be asking.....then I would definitely not use the same name. Maybe as a middle name and it could be in memory of the baby that was lost. God bless and good luck.