They Are In Same Political Club. When We Go Out & She Is Very Touchy Feely (WHISPERS IN HIS EAR WHILE HOLDING HIS ARM, not necessary) When We Are Listening To Speeches I Look Across the Room, There They Are- BUTT BUDDIES, even at my own home. (he will soon be the head of group & start meeting monthly at her office) Last dinner we went to he introduced me as his wife (BEEN MARRIED 28 YEARS) someone made the comment that they thought she was his wife. Calls her on his cell & talks longer than he does with me (10-20 MINUTES) tels me it's a work phone & shouldn't get personal calls He has lied to me about being on the phone with her TOLD HIM I DONT LIKE RELATIONSHIP TO CALL HER AT NIGHT FROM HOME. HE REFUSES-SAYS HE DOESN'T TALK TO HER THAT OFTEN I'M JUST JEALOUS & REFUSES TO DISCUSS WITH ME. SAYS WOMEN ARE JUST LIKE THAT (IT'S A 2 WAY STREET & NOT ALL HER) I found out her office is 2 blocks from his & he says he just found that out He works construction she sells insurance
2007-05-01 05:39:58 · 15 answers · asked by Sue C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband should have enough respect for you that if there relationship makes you feel uncomfortable he should not be as flirty with her. My fiance is the same way but he says its because hes a sociable person.
2007-05-01 05:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by clints_wench 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
An Ultimatum is the WORST thing you can do. I am a guy and I have been in some situations, myself...
If you love him and want to salvage the relationship,
1.) Be there for him..
2.) Show him how much you love him, in every way you can think about
3.) Do not constantly gripe at him.. The more you nag him the more he will look at other women (In this case the lady) for a peaceful and enjoyable companionship.
4.) Do not read too much into everything.. Let be what is.. All you can do is the above, if you want it to work out...
If you give demands or ultimatums you will drive him further away, even if not right now, it will do more damage than good...
2007-05-01 05:49:04 · answer #2 · answered by jas2_dm 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, this is certainly weird as it doesn't really seem as though they are trying to hide their friendship from you. It could just be that they have a lot in common or passion about the same subject and it could also be that she's just a touchy feely individual with many people.
However, I can understand your concerns. Stop acting jealous so that your husband can no longer devalue your legitimate concerns. Let him know that you are ok with him having female friends but there also needs to be boundaries. Tell him that her touching him and acting flirty is stepping over those boundaries and that he needs to let her know that. Also, let him know that when he withholds information or refuses to discuss the subject it only makes him look guilty.
If your gut feeling tells you that your husband and this woman have overstepped being "just friends" then I would suggest making sure it's a fact and dealing with it accordingly.
2007-05-01 06:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lwood 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can swing it get an investigator to check him out. Something is probably up and you need to protect your future. I would even rent a car and watch him myself. The gut feeling is all ways right! Twenty eight years is a long time to invest with someone and for him to take it down now. I would get on it and find out the truth one way or another and not stop till I do! This is your life they may be playing with and you need to know the truth. If you catch him take it all!! Good Luck Sweetie.
2007-05-01 06:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea something isn't right. I dont understand why men can't respect that without saying "Women are jealous". This is not acceptable at all. If he is not guilty of anything then he should tell you about the phone calls and be more respectful of your feelings. Talk to him and tell him how much it bothers you and that he'll have to make a choice or atleast reduce his interaction with her.
2007-05-01 06:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by Luv Peace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If something deep in your being says this doesn't feel right, it probably ISN'T right...and as an outsider looking in on this story, I think something smells rotten in Denmark. If you told him you don't like him spending so much time with her, or talking so much to her on the cell or whatever and he continues to do it, then his priority obviously isn't his marriage. What man would be calling YOU late at night...and how would YOUR husband like it? I say, start dressing up to KILL and leaving the house looking like you're going somewhere HOT, and don't bother to tell him. Go to a friend's to the store, out by yourself...whatever...but do NOT let him in on what you're doing. Let HIM wonder what the heck YOU'RE up to, and maybe he'll stop spending so much time with HER. OR....just take it until you've had enough, and walk out of it if he won't consider you in the relationship. Just from my point of you...something spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E in this situation!
2007-05-01 05:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Something is up..... and if it isn't he will give up the relationship for the sake of the marriage. He is putting himself in a position for something to happen or feelings to develop. You should be #1 and if it makes you uneasy he should stop!!! There is always a reason we have gut feelings and they are usually right. I agree is is a two way street and he needs to step up to the plate and change his number and stop calling her. After all you should be his priority!!! He should even quit the club if need be and join another one elsewhere. He needs to cut all ties with her and put your marriage first..... after all that is what is important.
2007-05-01 05:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by JC 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that this is a two way street and if he can you can too. Time to bring out little black book. Call some guy you know and go have 'DINNER' invite him to your house and touch him and whisper in his ear. This will get to him. If it doesn't call her and tell her she left a note at your house and it looks like it fell out of her purse. Tell her to come by and get it, if she doesn't mind. When she gets there, beat her a**! I'm serious. I would let you borrow my husband if you were in my hometown.
2007-05-01 05:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let him know that while you respect his right to have friendships and acquaintances, the level of interaction between the two of them makes you uncomfortable. You can't tell him that he can't have friends, but he should respect you and your marriage enough to temper the friendship to a level that you're comfortable with.
The "thought she was his wife" comment is very telling. I might gently take that person aside and ask them why they were confused, and find out what other cues in their interactions you might have missed.
2007-05-01 05:44:50 · answer #9 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think there something going on between them...he is falling for her and she want him too...You should not blame her ...you should balme ur husband,...he is the one married to u...u need to talk to him and tell him this is not accectable and they can't be no more friends...what i will suggest find out who he goes out on lunch with...I bet u its her...they see each other everyday behind ur back...Why don't u start being friendly with some other guy and make him jaelous and realize what he is doing to u...call him like he calls her...BUt let this new guy know why ur doing this and ask if he can help u
2007-05-01 05:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋