This has been going on for years! He's really great at cheating. Surely she must know right? She's extremely naive and they've been together now for 11 years. She's thinking about having another child with him. The truth needs to come out before she continues to waste her life on this LOSER! I've thought about sending an anonymous letter with dates of when he has had women at their house or calling her family about it and then have them approach it with her. She trusts her family enough to leave him. Need advice please...
2007-05-01 05:33:32 · 25 answers · asked by Scout 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take it from someone who is wondering every hour of the day whether her man is true blue - tell her!!!! You will not ruin the marriage - he has already done that. And, yes, she may be upset with you, but in the end she will thank you. I know how I would react if someone confirmed my suspiscions. Be a good friend and tell her.
2007-05-01 06:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can do what I did in such a situation where I knew a guy who was cheating on his wife. I had been friends with both of them for quite some time. When I found out he was having an affair and I was certain - I told him he had a certain amount of time to tell his wife or I would. Was too difficult to be around them knowing what I knew. He ended up telling her and yes, I lost him as a friend. But I still feel it was the right thing to do.
2007-05-01 13:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to be an adult and keep your mouth shut. Nobody has selected you to be the Moral Police. What you imagine to be "cheating" may be perfectly cool with your friend and her husband. Sounds like you are a bit too involved in your friends personal life. Are you stalking her and her husband? That is illegal, what they may, or may not, be doing isn't illegal, but may be immoral.
Sounds like you need to create some serious, damaging drama in your life and the life of your "friend". You will ultimately be the looser. Ask any cop...never get between a husband and a wife. The husband will turn on you, and if you start to defend yourself, or even look like you might be winning in a fight, the wife will then turn on you, to protect her husband.
Go to church, talk with someone that may actually care about your opinion. Or, like I first said, shut up!
Ricky
2007-05-01 12:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by RICKY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, someone who has been cheated on, leave it alone. Ya ever hear the old saying, what ya dont know wont hurt. I had suspected my husbands affair and just as I was starting to 'believe' him, that stupid tramp called me and told me everything. The truth killed me more than not knowing for sure and it DID NOT "SET ME FREE". Let me tell ya about cheating husbands, yah they are pigs, and if their wife catches them, she needs to make the choice. But MOST men NEVER leave their wife and kids. He probably treats her like gold. I'd just leave this alone, because no matter how you look at it and no matter what she decides, she will always look at you as the bearer of bad news, the one who told her the info that broke her heart. I know your intentions are good, but in the long run, you telling her will only cause damage I dont think you want to deal with. Trust me.
2007-05-01 12:45:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No one likes a busy body troublemaker. You've got no business hurting her like that, even if she's your best friend in the whole wide world. You've known about it for years, and only now do you decide she needs to know about it? Nothin' doing. If you didn't tell her when you first suspected, then you really didn't and don't have her best interests at heart.
If you MUST do something, confront HIM and let him know that his behavior isn't as discreet as he thinks it is. He's the one misbehaving, not her, so if you have a problem with how they conduct their marriage, take it to the one who's cheating.
2007-05-01 12:38:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jarien 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if they have been together for that long she has to have picked up on something. So to answer your question the answer is to mind your own business. She has been with this man for 11 years and for all you know this could be what works for them. You would have to live in another world to not have noticed something strange in 11 years.
2007-05-01 12:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by KH 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have known this for 11 years and you want to tell her now? What is your motivation behind telling her now? Had an affair with him and got dumped for a new "love?"
I would guess she knows and accepts his infidelities as long as he doesn't leave her. If you feel that it is in her best interest to know what is going on then tell her. But make sure your motives are pure and not motivated by negative reasons.
2007-05-01 12:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by Stefka 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how do you know this? are you a 'neighbor'? if youve seen this in the past, why do feel now is the time? just wondering why if fyou feel she's probably somewhat aware...why you didnt say something to someone a long time ago? Has she ever mentioned any suspicions regarding her spouse?
If she's that clueless ...doubtful...perhaps, she isnt ready to deal with any of it. send a note to the philandering spouse instead.
2007-05-01 12:42:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would definitely do something about it, if you know a man is cheating and you know his girlfriend or wife, you dam strait they should be told!! I would write that anonymous letter, or just sit down and talk to her.And be there for her, cause she will definitely need a friend when she hears of her husband cheating, hopefully she will find out before she goes and gets pregnant.
2007-05-01 12:57:56 · answer #9 · answered by blondie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay out of this...it is not your business
Maybe she already knows but chooses to look the other way..and if u bring it to her attention..now she must do something about it...and YOU would be responsible (in her eyes) for ruining her marriage
2007-05-01 12:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋