Okay I have been engaged to a man for 2 yrs now. We both have children who live with us. Our issues stem from fighting over our kids mostly. Just 3 days ago I was told to get out of HIS house with my messed up son. This was the last straw for me. I said I would leave. He finally gets home several hours later and tells me he over reacted and he didnt mean to say it that he was just angry. If this were the 1st time i might buy it but its not. I am always reminded that this is his home not mine and how my son is a mence and his is an angel. I am still so angry but hes been trying to work things out with me since he said this. He has been acting so different with me and being so kind its not even like him. I am afraid to let my gaurd down again just to have him fly off the handle with me. I feel as if I dont care anymore at times. I know I love him but i think he may have pushed me to far this time. How do I know if this can ever be repaired?? Is it time i need?? Is it worth it?? Help!!
2007-05-01 05:26:03 · 11 answers · asked by Kim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is it possible that he knows Im over it and thats why hes being so loving and kind now?? Ive always been the one chasing behind him and now I refuse to do it anymore.
I have been let down more times then i care to mention. He sets so many demands for me to reach in order to be his wife. I have to do this and that or he wont marry me, love shouldnt be this way. Right???
2007-05-01 05:28:23 · update #1
He doesn't want to marry you that is why the rules change every time you meet the new rule there is another one for you to follow.....It's never ending.....He doesn't even meet his own expectations so why should you burden yourself to meet his.....He is a farce.
Move out of HIS house.
2007-05-01 05:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is putting your son down and making him out to be a horrible child, I would leave and never go back. A child's self esteem is very fragile and if he says mean things to you, imagine what your son overhears, or even worse what he says to your son's face. I would pick up the pieces and move on...your son deserves better. He should not spend the rest of his childhood being compared to another child. If you feel you have to make it work, then I suggest family counseling. Good Luck...think about what is best for your child, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You don't have to live up to anyone's but your own expectations.
2007-05-01 05:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by Krista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, only you know if its worth it to you. BUT the REAL question is the effect on your son. Does he treat him bad? If he does then you have to get out. Its not fair that your son's life be ruined and his poor little heart wrecked so you can have a warm bed.
Im sure that even if he doesnt say these things in FRONT of your son, it comes out in other ways that does effect the boy.
If your going to continue to be with him he has to have respect for your son and know that you are ALLLLLLL in the relationship together. Maybe your kid does things that he shouldnt. Maybe you need to rethink your discipline, but even if that is so, it doesnt give him the right to hurt your son's psyche and make it all worse by forcing the boy to live in a bad situation in a place that is supposed to be safe,...home.
2007-05-01 05:38:07 · answer #3 · answered by stardawned 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is no way to live, for you or your son. There will always be HIS and MINE when it comes down to it because you are both bringing in a child to the relationship...that struggle will always be there. It's not worth it, and like another answerer said, you need to show your son that you have self respect and don't have to put up with crappy behavior and treatment just for love and a roof over your head.
2007-05-01 05:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well the first issue is that this is not about you have you considered what this is doing to your child. I'm just wondering what he thinks of his mother for putting up with that kind of crap. You are definitely sleeping with the enemy, how are ever going to have a healthy relationship with this man. He obviously does not care for your son and unless you haven't been told children pick up on everything. So with that said I will say this is being with this man worth eventually losing your child's respect for you as a mother. Good Luck
2007-05-01 05:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by KH 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
More expertise wanted, that is extra of a rant. Are you Latin, Black, Asian ? The different guy seems like a racist, and is illiberal of interracial relationships. Mixing races is a assured components for gorgeous offspring because it additional varies the gene swimming pools. I recognize a Korean/African woman who's by means of a long way the freshest factor Ive ever identified.
2016-09-05 23:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, u're better off without him. Dont do this to yourself and dont do this to your son. Your son would end up having very low self esteem if he is continuously put down by his step dad. These type of guys dont change.
2007-05-01 06:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by Luv Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not trust this man. A relationship without trust has absolutely no foundation. Take your son and leave this abusive man before he does damage to your son.
2007-05-01 05:45:34 · answer #8 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should lay some ground rules yourself. If he wants you to be his wife he must respect and appreciate you, and have compassion for your son. Don't let him walk all over you.
2007-05-01 05:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a control freak. if you're that miserable, move on...can you imagine how miserable your child is, with the constant comparison and criticism? verbal abuse!
if you want to stay in it, while he on the rebound, suggest counseling. otherwise, you will stay miserable...
2007-05-01 06:08:41 · answer #10 · answered by D.... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋