I think I just caught my kid cheating on a school test. What to do?

Question

Im cleaning the livingroom and a find a little piece of paper that is folded up that has difficult science definitions in very small letters printed on it. Boy did my childhood come back to me and I remembered my cheat sheets that I made for tests. Im thinking that its a possibility that my 15 yr old daughter may be cheating. Ive never had a reason to think that she has in the past. Im not sure how to handle this. Any advice?

Answer 1

In a calm way confront her, and let her know that cheating is wrong, and is that the way she is going to operate going through life

Answer 2

Before I had my baby, I was a junior high teacher. I had strict rules on cheating. If I could prove that someone was genuinely cheating (not just hear say, or a guess), then I would talk to them at the end of class. I would ask them if they were cheating. I would tell them I was disappointed that they cheated, and if they felt like they needed help, they should have asked me for help in private. (We could work something out like an extra credit assignment or tutorials) After that, I would tell them the consequence for cheating (which they already knew) and give them a 0 with no make-ups.

Cheating is a big deal. Generally, the student is feeling the pressure to achieve, and really feels bad about cheating, but feels worse about not getting a good grade, or not having studied, or whatever. They're chosing what they think is the lesser of two evils. In reality, they are permanently sacrificing their integrity for a temporary problem. Every time you cheat, lie, etc, without having to face a consequence, it makes it easier to do so the next time.

I would talk to your daughter, then if she was cheating, the two of you should talk to your teacher. Even if she says she didn't cheat, you might want to call her teacher anyway and check up on her performance and attitude in class. It is always a good idea to communicate with your child's teacher frequently.

There is always the possibility that she wasn't cheating though. Since you found it at home, maybe she thought about cheating and changed her mind (yay!) or maybe her teacher told them they could use a "cheat sheet" where they could fit as much information as possible on a specific sized sheet of paper. Some teachers think this technique "tricks" the student to committing the information to memory because they are writing it down.

Answer 3

First thing, you are not sure whether its true or not, its just your feeling. Now even if your feeling is true, in both scenarios its a delicate matter.
So first thing you need to talk.
This is the time in her life where she should be told the difference between right and wrong.
Another important thing that i would like to tell to my daughter when she is adolescent is ' In our life, many time we have two options, the easier one and the harder one. The easier one gives us temporary success but it ends in a quagmire. The harder one is tough in the begininng but the output is often better than what we would have expected'

So in your case, easier option for her is to cheat on school tests and get good marks but she will miss learning the subject. The harder way is to read the books and secure (may be less) marks but the outcome will be better, becoz she will know much better about that subject atleast.
Lastly, dont yell or forbid her, speak to her calmly and give examples and let her learn by her own mistakes.

All the best!!!

Answer 4

There isn't a kid alive who hasn't cheated on some kind of school work. I found the answer key to my chemistry exam and you better believe I cheated my little butt off. Ah....memories. I am not condoning cheating, but you said yourself that you have. Obviously there is something about this class she isn't getting. Is it a hard class? Ask your daughters teacher if she maybe needs a tutor or some extra explainations from the teacher. It could be that your daughter is distracted in class and not paying attention. There could be a boy, a tiff between friends. Get your daughter to talk to you. Don't tell her anything that you know. If anything be sure to talk to the teacher about your daughters performance at school. There's more to this than a cheat.

Answer 5

Get a meeting with the teacher. Take her with you. Cheating doesn't get her anywhere in real life and depending on what she cheats on older in life, it could get her into real trouble. Make her earn her grade by losing the points she got on whatever test it was she cheated on and make her do extra assignments in that chapter. If your kid is acing this class she may be cheating all the time. Stand up for what is right and wrong and make her learn a lifelong lesson. Don't just let her get away with a bad girl, Small things nowadays turn into bigger problem down the road if there is no real penalty for poor behavior. Examine your daughters life too. Does she have an IPOD, a cell phone, a computer......she should have plenty of time to study for school. but if she is a normal teenager with all this extra crap, take it away and crack down on her. She needs to get good grades in school and earn them by studying, not cheating. Real life doesn't allow you to use cheat sheets.

Answer 6

Don't start accusing her right off the bat. Ask her about it.. give her the benefit of the doubt. And if you can tell she's lying or she tells you the truth that she did cheat, then you need to tell the school. She needs to learn for herself the consequences of cheating or else it'll keep happening. She might be mad at you at first.. but she's in the phase where no matter what you do, she'll be mad at you. So let her know you're there to help her study next time if she needs and so on so forth. Just don't pound at her right away. Be there for her.

Answer 7

Some teachers let you carry in a cheat sheet, if you can fit it all on to one small piece of paper. So before you go off the handle with her, you may want to ask her if they were allowed to have it. It may have been allowed in that particular class.

Seriously, when I was in high school, some teachers allowed us to carry an index card and whatever information we could fit (not from the test, but from our study materials) on the card, we could use it .... like an open book test kind of.
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Well..... what happened?? Have you talked to her yet?

Answer 8

Just explain that if she really needs help on a test that you will help and if she cheats, she won't learn a thing. I remember the first time I tried to cheat on math questions and I remember going to my mom like 3 days later and crying because I cheated because I couldn't understand the math questions. She explained why it was wrong to cheat and helped me learn what was so difficult with the math questions. I remember learning them so easily once she sat down with me and I never cheated again!

Answer 9

You need to confront her with what she has done and show her that you found the cheat sheet. Children should learn early on that cheating is wrong and will not put you ahead in life. One suggestion is to arrange a Parent/Teacher conference where your daughter confesses what she has done to the teacher. Than request a make up test or additional work. Once it starts and she gets away with it, more than likely she will do it again. If taught early on that there are always consequences to her actions, she will be less likely to do it again. Good luck!

Answer 10

It sounds like you need to make sure she is studying more and doing her homework instead of goofing off so much. Isn't that why a person has to cheat in the first place.

Tell her you caught her and that you are going to help her prepare better by holding her accountable. You might want to threaten to let her science teacher know about this so the teacher can keep an eye on her in the future.

Answer 11

Ask her about it-although thi brought back memories does not mean she was cheating could have been used for study purposes.You might relay to her your cheat sheets with the role of a parent to teach principles and although you werent't caught to get a consequence were you to catch your child you'd be obligated in fulfilling your role as a parent to give the child a consequence. Since I believe the consequence should be meaningfully related to the crime perhaps a 1hr of study in tht subject with a written summary at the end of each study given to you for approx 5 days should it be true that she was cheating.She'd have to admit for you cannot consequent just on a suspicion. for would be disastrous to your relationship with this child.