Suppose you're happily attached with your sweetheart, and planning for marriage the next year. You just got to know that your spouse-to-be is unexpectedly diagnosed with an illness and doctor say he/she won't lived pass the age of 40.
2007-05-01 05:05:55 · 36 answers · asked by LucKY 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I read some of the marry them now answers but to be honest, I don't know what I would do. Would I want to be straddled with debt after they were gone from all of the medical bills? What about children? Would I want to have a child and raise it without the other parent? How hard would it be for a child to loose a parent and know that he was conceived knowing that said parent would not be able to raise it. The optimist would say that the deceased parent lives on through the child but how would the child feel.
Death is hard enough without having to live everyday knowing that the person that you love has a ticking clock and their time on this earth is so limited. You don't say how old this person is. Are they in their 20's or 30's?
But then again, what do doctors know. There is no expiration date stamped on the persons foot so maybe they will live to be 60.
I would think this over carefully before I did get married. Are you willing to take on the financial responsibility of all of the medical bills? Are you willing to wipe this persons *** if necessary? Are you willing to give up your life at a certain point if this is an illness where the other person will need you to care for them whenever you are not out making money to cover the doctor bills?
I'm not saying to abandon the person. I'm just saying that when you stay together and don't get married the sick person can get help from the state and other systems for medical bills, in home care, etc.
I really hope that this is a hypothetical question and not a real life issue. If it is, I am sorry for you because that is a lot for any person to have on their plate. It is hard to watch someone you love die. It is harder when you know that the best thing for them is to die because their life on this earth is just too hard with all of their physical ailments.
2007-05-09 02:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by bobbijoslin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? We never know how much time we are going to have in this world. Any of us could be hit by a car tomorrow, even though we're perfectly healthy. And when we're gone, all that remains of us is the memories of those that loved us. Go ahead and get married. Live every day together with the knowledge that there's no time for pettiness or anger. Love them with all you have and let them love you.
I would definitely agree with the "not having children" part, because that just isn't fair to the kids, who don't get to make the conscious choice that you are making. But doctors have been wrong before, many times. You could end up with 10 years of happiness and that's a lot more than most married people I've met.
There's a great movie about this called "A walk in the clouds." Watch it and see how you feel about it. And if you decide to stay, then I wish you both happiness every day that you have together.
Good luck.
2007-05-08 06:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old are you both now? I really cannot suggest anything to you. I all depends on how much you love him. It is really up to you. No one else can help you make that decision. Especially on y/a.
Medicine advances today are growing so fast. Their is a strong possibility that a cure will be found. The best people to speak to are the doctors, and then discuss it with your parents, or family.
I know if it were me, and I loved him with all my heart. I would marry him, and love him to death (figuratively speaking). You will have so many wonderful memories. Why throw away all the wonderful, and good times you will have together. Also why don't you move up the date of your intended marriage, if you do decide to marry him with his illness.
Again you did not tell me your ages. So this is the best advice I can give you with what I know.
Good luck to both of you.
2007-05-06 02:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have seen such medical wonders in my life that to say someone only has ten or 20 years to live would not mean much these days. When I was young if you had a heart problem you died. Simple as that - if you had a bad heart valve you died. Last year I had a metal valve inserted in my heart and I am expected to live a long and productive life because of this. Don't believe for a second that a doctors doom can't be reversed by God. -k-
2007-05-08 05:06:48 · answer #4 · answered by kbama 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This a lower back-door liberal attempt to bypass the form via utilising the UN. (as though I care what the UN thinks). No, a handgun, rifle, or shotgun isn't a weapon of mass destruction, whoever got here up with that's a moron yet liberals and morons have comparable believes and intelligence stages. this is a fashion for libs to aim to bypass some style of gun administration without dealing with Congress. I say bypass it. It won't replace something simply by fact maximum individuals do no longer care what the UN thinks. we would desire to continually withdraw besides.
2016-10-04 05:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love them for as long as you have them. You make everyday special and memorable. There wont be as much taking for granted the things you could do today can be done later. If you love the person, you are going to want to continue to do that until the day you arent here anymore or they arent and beyond, We all know we cant make it out of this world alive, we just dont have that time limit. But maybe it will make you a better husband, will definitely make you a stronger man. Good luck
2007-05-01 05:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You didn't say how old each of you are, and how many years remain until the age of 40. But I would certainly stay with that person and continue with the wedding plans. However long or short period of time you have together, enjoy each other's company and love for all the days you have remaining together.
2007-05-06 12:45:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stick with them every minute of the day...let them know how much you love them every chance you get. Make them feel like they lived a full life and have no regrets for anything. Most of all, let them know that you'll be there for them everyday until god chooses to take them for himself. You also have to think to, so many doctors tell people everyday they are dying and have a certain time to live and they end up living longer than what the doctor says. Stay Strong for your loved one and yourself.
2007-05-08 09:08:18 · answer #8 · answered by yeahwutevrusay 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are wanting to spend the rest of your lives together, that is just what that means...the rest of your lives. Don't abandon your love for this person now...they are going to need you more than ever. This is a gift to know that you need to make the most of your time together. Your vows are "til death do us part" and as hard as that is to imagine...can you imagine your life now without them? The illness is a twist in the road for your relationship it shouldn't be the end.
2007-05-01 05:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by superwmn315 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get married now appreciate and enjoy the time together and there is always hope and faith and treatment cures and anything is possible the person could live a long time and if that happens why lose a chance all the time and the longer the person is around and hope u both get married and with ur significate other hope love faith and happiness and many many yrs together .
2007-05-08 21:57:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋