She is topping from the bottom, and knows it, has been warned about doing this, but continues, how sever should her punishment be this time, twice last times, or more than that.. we are in a 24/7 relationship, she has agreed to be punished, and knows the rules and concensquences...I have not exceeded her preset limits and won't, but I am getting close to them, should I approach them this time or hold off.
If you don't know about this type of lifestyle plz don't lecture me. Only those with some experience, especially fromt her point of view should reply.
2007-05-01 05:04:53 · 7 answers · asked by wizzard 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Push the limits. A Sub should know their place.
2007-05-01 07:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by TK421 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you two agree in advance that it WAS ok for you to push her near her limits?
And is the TFTB a matter of "I can take more if you'd do.......please" (which, in my eyes as a sub, is legitimate feedback on what I can handle at a given time; my reactions vary day to day), versus "do this, do that...please" (which is more of "I want it my way", and not exactly cool)?
Perhaps you two should discuss first what was going on (mentally) at the time and see if there are any mitigating circumstances or misunderstandings that need to be cleared up, before you act per your agreements.
It might be useful to ask HER what she feels would be appropriate handling of the situation. Most subs that I know who've blown it can punish themselves MUCH more effectively (with guilt) than their Dominant ever could....
Of course, if she's doing the smart-aleck sub routine and **trying** to provoke you into punishing her (for whatever reason), you'd better do some heavy duty discussion as to what the heck she wants in the relationship, and can she get her needs met in a less manipulative way.
Here's hoping you both have a good, productive, honest, open conversation and get things worked out.
2007-05-01 12:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by samiracat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me that if a sub wants to be punished there are better methods of disobediance then to top from the bottom. You should probably ask her this question. Remember you don't have to break your 24/7 character to ask. You can always order her to tell you whether or not she wants you to get a bit closer to her limits. Having a sub keep a journal that you can read is also a great idea. Remember no matter what type of relationship communication is key.
2007-05-01 14:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Apriltg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get the idea of the lifestyle tho I have never gotten into that myself). Consider me as an outsider looking in.
Perhaps you have to take a hard look at your relationship. Maybe you are both at a point where things are no longer working for the two of you.
Try sitting down and talking with her but not "while in character" (for lack of a better term). You have to get things back into perspective and then decide what to do next.
It is a good thing you won't exceed her limits because at some point it can cease to be a relationship and become assault (even though you may not feel it is).
Good luck.
2007-05-01 12:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst punishment you can do is banish them for a while. Ignore them.
They will hate it.
2007-05-01 13:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hunn i really didnt understand ur question... need more details........
2007-05-01 12:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by sexybitch 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
huh???
2007-05-01 12:13:15 · answer #7 · answered by Jon A 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋