heres a description of a woman, what would you assume happened to her to make her this way?

Question

she rarely saw her biological father, had a stepather between the ages 6-12, got perfect grades until the fourth grade and and never did "well" in school since then, was severly depressed as a child, has no memory of any kind of abuse, engaged in sexual acts with other children around age 7, mother had a drug addiction when she was 8, she had sex at age 13 got pregnant at 14, lost oldest sister during 7th month of pregnancy, gave the baby up for adoption, became very promiscuous after that, found out she has the same heart disease her sister died from, occasionally experimented with drugs after age 18, seemed attracted to "bad boys", cheated on every boyfriend she ever had, got married and had a baby at age 20 and recently after that she falsely accused her hsband of molesting their daughter (she thought it was true but it wasnt), and has always had problems with anxiety and depression. I understand that she needs help but im trying to understand why she is so self destructive.

Answer 1

she has not had stability in her life and therefore has had no example set for her on how to make good decisions. Therefore, she has made a lot of bad choices and then had to live with the consequences. If only she could see that she has the power to decide how she wants her life to be from this point on and then piece by piece and little by little she can start reshaping her life. To do this, she will need a very solid vision of what she wants for her life and then she will need to start manipulating her circumstances to match up with her vision. She can do this, but it will be harder for her since she did not have any good examples when she was growing up. Whatever happened to her in the past may not be an issue if she decides to take control over her life and dismiss the past. She cannot change it anyway. The only things she has any measure of control over are the present and the future. I don't think she is self-destructive. I think she just simply doesn't know how to take charge and she doesn't know she truly has the power to do this. Help her figure out how she really wants her life to be. and then help her figure out what she needs to do to accomplish that. She can have a serene comfortable home and a happy productive life.

Answer 2

I think it is pretty obvious that your friend was molested by her step dad and probably other people that she trusted in life. She probably has a mental block so that she can "cope" with the day to day. I feel for your friend but she isn't alone. She probably feels a lot of shame. She probably never thought that this is the way her life would turn out. I am sure she feels bad because she was promiscious and had lot's of boyfriends and drank and did drugs. When she was little, she probably thought she would never do any of those things.
The problem with your friend is that she is going to have to want to make changes. Help her to find a good family doctor that deals with mood disorders and sexual abuse. This doctor could help her get on the path to healing. She is probably Bi-polar or has some sort of mood disorder. Talk therapy and cognitive behavior therapy as well as a change in diet and sleep regimen, would probably be helpful. She should not drink alcohol or take any mind altering drugs like: Crystal Meth, crack, coccaine, speed,ecstasy. And she should stay a way from caffein.
If she goes to the doctor and they want to put her on meds. Tell her to wait until she is mentally stable and diagnosed properly. Medication with out therapy is not going to solve the problem. Sometimes it makes it worse.

Answer 3

Classical textbook case of long-term, severe sexual abuse which has been repressed in her memory. Sometimes it happens long before conscious memories can be recalled, and other times the memories are consciously and purposely repressed because it is not safe to recall what happened to her. Only when it is "safe" to remember what happened will she be able to address the situation and begin to heal. That in itself may take years.

I suspect that there is no "Borderline Personality Disorder" that you find named in psychology textbooks. I believe this is really "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" recurring and recurring over and over again to the victim of severe sexual abuse. This woman needs help, and I suggest she look into an AMAC group. "Adults Molested As Children". You may find it listed in the phone book, or perhaps a rape-crisis counselor would be able to find one for her. Best wishes.

Answer 4

It seems to me she acting out,and has never had any good role models to look up too. I think she might have been molested by her real father and has blocked the memory of it out of her mind.

Answer 5

We live what we learn and learn what we live.
Some look at life experiences and take them as lessons of how we do and don't want our life to be.
Some never look and keep repeating the established pattern.