when me and my husband got together i new he was still talking to his ex girlfreind from highschool. i didnt think any thing of it at the time, he told her that he was seeing me and then we got married he told her that too. she still e-mails him he clam's up and down that he never talks to her or calls her but on his phone i noticed that he called her(she didnt pick up though) and on his e-mail he has writen her also it s nuthin lovey dovey or any thin but i know she is still in love with him. he clams that he will never leave me for her cause she cheated on him with hi brother and then got pregnat and then gave it up for an abortion. i just dont know why her wants to talk to her and why is he lyin to me and what sould i do?
2007-05-01 03:14:53 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well i also checked his e-mail he wrote her when i was out to a friends house he told her i was out and he wanted her to call him
2007-05-01 03:30:35 · update #1
I think he didn't have closure with his ex yet...give him a chance to...an ultimatum, and ask him that after ta]hat he should forget about the ex and concentrate on you
2007-05-01 03:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very obvious that your husband is being very dishonest to you. Maybe you should suggest that the three of you sit down and have a frank discussion about what really is going on. If your husbands disagrees to this, that means that he has something to hide. If he still has feelings for her, that will definitely put a damper on your relationship. I'm sorry but there is no way he can successfully make a go of your marriage when he is carrying all of this excess baggage from the last relationship. From the sound of the email he is trying desperately to get in touch with her behind your back. Sounds to me that he is still hung up on her and he might be trying to pacify himself with you until he gets over her or get her back. Stand up and demand to know the truth, he exchanged vows before God, and you deserve the truth, as well as respect. Good luck, and I hope you get to the bottom of this.
2007-05-01 10:55:41 · answer #2 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All i know is... My husband was talking to female friend on intranet and I asked him stop and he did. I wasn't in fear of him cheating, but i know good and well she was. Some women are just in for the count down. They are just waiting for the catch. We all want a stable man and married men are usually it. He likes the attention she's giving him, but it's bullshit and he needs to cut it off. I would give him a ultamatim.
2007-05-01 10:28:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's stroking his ego. she dumped him and got pregnant for his brother and her life has apparently been miserable since. I don't think he has any true interest in her accept for the fact that she screwed up and that she's miserable. I wouldn't worry about it-he married you. But if it still bothers you, ask him how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. My guess is the e-mails and phone calls would stop. LOL
2007-05-01 10:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by Misty D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him know that the marriage should be more important to him than that contact. Don't give him an ultimatum, just tell him that it's putting a strain on you guys and ask him if he thinks it's worth that. If it is, you have a problem. Otherwise hopefully he'll stop for real.
2007-05-01 10:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Itis a problem. If he is still making contact with her, he cannot be totally committed to you. Don't go for that old "rationalization" that she's just a friend routine. He cannot be totally committed to you if he is still connecting with old girl friends. Talk to him about your feelings. Let him know that you have abg issue with it. then it will be up to him to explain or change. But you will know where he stands on the issue.
2007-05-01 10:24:57 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray can change that, ask God to deal with his heart, let him know how it is affecting you open communication is needed let him know your heart. Let him know all that you know about whats going on BUT remember approach him in a way thats gentle and not rude if not conversation could lead into a debate, but let him know that you love him and this issue is hurting and affecting your feelings
2007-05-01 10:23:09 · answer #7 · answered by The Truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with btpage06. Also, you need to address the issue of his lies. Why is he lying? What else could he be lying about? It is important to have honesty and trust in a marriage. The reason you are insecure and don't trust him is because of his lies. Explain that to him. He won't gain your trust if he lies.
2007-05-01 10:23:19 · answer #8 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if its nothing lovey dovey then dont be worried.. he married you not her, he made his choice
2007-05-01 10:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋