I was 19, not married, and it wasn't my parent's mistake. I did what I felt in my heart was right. I gave him a chance for a good like that at that time I couldn't have given him.
He is 34 this year. Born in 2/13/1973. I feel like I need to find him for nothing else than to let him know about some family health issues that could affect him. Like a family history of cardiac problem that includes grandparents and mother.
I sometimes wonder how he's doing. Then there's that little voice in the back of my head saying "Maybe he doens't want to know you" That's ok too.
2007-05-01 02:55:18 · 9 answers · asked by snibbett53 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Deep down he does want to know you, and wouldn't it be better to find out for yourself, instead of wondering? I think what you want to do takes a lot of courage, and more power to you!
My mom was adopted, and her birth mother contacted her when she was 35. When they were reunited, they were both very emotional, but absolutley no hard feelings. They both had lived a good life, and my 'grandmother' explained the reasons she had to do what she had done. Ever since, they have been the best of friends.
I'm sure your son will understand, I really hope you go through with it, I'm sure a big weight will be lifted off your heart!
GOOD LUCK!
2007-05-01 03:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by sarahjc23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a brave kind hearted women who put the needs of a innocent child before your own. I was a virgin at 18, pregnant at19,had my first child at 20.
Why? Because all I wanted was to be loved. Sometimes I feel like my child is paying for my own insecurity's.
I am sure you did the right thing, and your child will understand that. I truly believe that your heart was in the right place and you are the true meaning of the word MOTHER.
2007-05-01 03:58:08 · answer #2 · answered by Betty boop 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely you should look for him! Get lots of support from a group of first moms, and be prepared. But look.
So many times mother and child sit for years in intertia wondering if each one wants contact. The years go by so fast. So many years have gone by already. It's really great for you to want to search.
No one can tell you what will happen. You may find him and he may refuse contact. Or he might initially refuse, but then change his mind. Or maybe he's sitting right now wondering the same thing - 'should I search for my mom?', or has been searching for you for years but running up against brick walls due to state laws.
Please don't hesitate to contact me through the email link in my profile. If you need help locating the state medical history registy, reunion registry and search procedures I can give you some links.
At the very least, please register at ISSR and the adoption.com registry if you haven't done so already. There are 8 males there with your son's date of birth.
http://www.isrr.net/faq.shtml
http://registry.adoption.com/
Also feel free to contact me if you don't know of any first mom support groups, and I can direct you there as well.
Good luck. But yes, please look for him.
2007-05-01 09:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by Theresa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your new child develop into not born into your marriage? If he develop into, then you fairly're assumed to be the daddy regardless of the DNA reality. seem into this. Get a kinfolk lawyer and assert your parental rights because you apparently have not performed so contained in the previous 5 years. i'm having worry understanding the position you've been for 5 years and why you probably did not get joint custody upon your divorce. yet you'll assert your parental rights, to boot because the privilege of paying new child help, now.
2016-12-05 04:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for taking responsiblity for your actions. I'm proud of you, your decision was made from pure love.
I think you should search for your son. If not for you and the sake of having a relationship with him; Just to continueing to be a responsible parent from afar and telling him about the health risks.
Dispite what some kids feel, most want to know what happened. Their's a void only you can fill, not only for him... for yourself too.
Good luck! go find your baby.
2007-05-01 03:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by Bianca 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't look for him. Letting him know about the family history of health problems is a lame excuse. You just really want to see him, that's all it is. Unfortunately, some decisions are irreversible. Your motherly instincts have woken up after 34 whole years - you're a little late.
You shouldn't disrupt his life now. Let him live and forget about him like you managed to do for 34 years.
2007-05-01 03:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by anjusmile 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you feel you want to meet him you have the option to try and do so if he doesnt wish to have contact with you he or someone will tell you so
2007-05-01 03:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find him otherwise you'll always wonder "if"....You may find a wonderful relationship with him or may not. Just be prepared for either and respect his wishes.
2007-05-01 03:02:33 · answer #8 · answered by Luv2RIDE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should pursue him.. in my opinion. But be careful, he may not know he was adopted. I hope everything works out.
God Bless
2007-05-01 03:01:23 · answer #9 · answered by lovepink317537 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋