Marriage after a couple of months?

Question

Okay, I know the general consensus is that I shouldn't marry this guy, but, what I am interested is in anyone who has a story to share, a positive story, about jumping into marriage.

Answer 1

There are cases, where two mature people that know what they are looking for, happen to find each other. It's also true that if they are wanting to start a family or they don't believe in sex before marriage that they may even get married fairly quick.

Having described this situation, let me tell you something. My fiance and I knew each other for only 1 month and we knew we wanted to marry each other. However, even in discussing it and preparing for marriage (which I HIGHLY recommend before someone jumps in) we took some time to really get to know each other. We went through devotionals together and books designed to ask tough questions about your potential spouse.

We knew each other for 5 1/2 months when we got engaged and we will have known each other for a year before we are actually married.

While most of our family and friends believe we have a healthy relationship and are right for each other, almost EVERYONE thinks we jumped into it and were really fast. We do too. If you are going faster than that, be careful.

Do you know how and if you'll raise children together, what faith you guys are, what each other's stances are on every political issue and social issue? Do you know how and if you'll take care of each other's parents when they are older? Do you know what you'll do if one of you loses a job? Do you both want to live long term in the same area?

There are probably hundreds of more questions that you should know the answers to before making that leap. Marriage is forever, and it's worth putting some effort into before you are even married to make sure it will last.

Answer 2

Slow down.

There are a few stories of people who have met and married after dating a month or so and all has worked out well, but they are rare.

A mature, rational approach, will make for a better possibility of a lasting marriage. It only makes sense.

You can marry someone, move in with them, and then find out that they don't do anything but mess and aggravate! They can actually turn out to be mean or at least not very nice...nasty name calling, etc.

People change pretty dramatically after they get used to being with you. It is best to spend a lot of time with someone before this serious decision. Are they kind, hard working, considerate, clean, have high values and good judgement in most situations? These are the things to watch for!

Remember, when the children come along, you want a decent, good hearted, hard working mate by your side. Life can be h*ll when a partner just isn't there for you!!!!

I say wait, watch and go in with a clear head!! The 'hot love' does cool down and things change.

Answer 3

The first question you need to ask is why is the consensus not to marry him. If it is because you only have known him for a short period of time, or for some other reason. Marriage is not something that should be taken lightly, and yet has been more and more demeaned of its integrity.

My brother got married in less than a year from when he met his, now wife, and they were engaged only a few months after meeting.

Are you in a rush to get married, is there some reason you have to do it right now. Why not stay engaged for a year.

The fact is that, if you truly love someone, and you can't picture yourself being away form them, and this is the hard part, would miss even their most annoying habits, there is no reason you shouldn't get married.

If you are getting married for a reason other than this, you might want to slow down, and get engaged for a while.

Answer 4

No, not really. Seems like it would be the opposite if anything- I think that sort of relationship makes it a lot less likely. It just doesn't seem sensible at all unless you've known each other for a long time before dating. Also just statistically speaking, couples who live together before marriage are far more likely to get divorced. And like the first answer said, there are no guarantees in marriage at all.

Answer 5

I know you are looking for other stories to help you reaffirm what you are doing is right and can work. The reality is that every situation is different and unique to the individuals involved. If you feel right now at this moment that what you both are doing the right thing then ultimately you can have no regrets, even if things don’t work out. If you have doubts over getting married so quickly however, then why not wait a bit longer? if you are both in it for the long haul then what difference will it make in the end? Best of Luck!!!

Answer 6

Having a good marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world to do. You need to know someone at least a year before even considering it or in a few years you will be in divorce court ,more often than not. If you can't wait, you don't have the maturity to get married.

Answer 7

If you really feel that you want to say yes, what would be so bad about a long engagement? If you set the date for a year or two out you still leave yourself time to see how the relationship progresses before you make a lifetime commitment.

Answer 8

I don't know the story, but I can tell you that 'jumping into marriage' (which to me implies either you haven’t know him long or you're ignoring warning signs/problems in the relationship) is never a good idea.

Answer 9

Married my wife after just 4 mo. we just clicked but a lot of our friend's that have long engagment's or move intogether before they are married are now devorced..Were married for 19 years now.. most good times a few rough times but worked it out....

Answer 10

I married my husband after knowing him for 5 months. Without going into details-- Honey please take the time to get know everything about this man because marriage is supposed to be forever