Love a married woman, I know .... Wrong. But too late for that scenerio to be different. We have a great time when were together. We are together even when were not. I know how? Believe me we are close 24/7. She has a miserable man for a husband and the family of 4 kids is losing out on their childhood because she stays and is waiting for him to make the move and leave. Since she don't want to be labeled the failure by her calling it quits. She tells me not to wait for her. I know she thinks of everyone else before she thinks about herself so I don't put much into her telling me not to waste my life on her. You see it's like treading water in the middle of the ocean ,, waiting for a ship to come by and rescue you. If I settled for someone else I would always be sad that the person I loved most wasn't with me and make me unhappy my whole balance of life or wait and when she's finally put her family thru enough to leave him be there waiting. Pain now or pain later?
2007-05-01 02:29:44 · 10 answers · asked by dan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she will NEVER divorce
move on
2007-05-01 02:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The key word that you seem miss is Pain--love is not suppose to be painful. In any event, she is using the same tired old excuse that has been used for years. You need to tell her to leave him, that if your love is true that the healing won't begin until she is out of that poor situation. It isn't good for the kids, her , her husband or you. Get a plan together and tell her to go. How do you know that the husband isn't also having and affair and waiting for HER to make the first move? It is just as easy for him. If a marriage is done, and it is over enough that one of the parties has gone to cheating on the other, it certainly seems that there is a dead horse being kicked here and it is starting to stink--someone needs to be the adult and get this situation done, and get the kids counseling, and start letting people heal.
2007-05-01 09:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long? You will know, when the pain of waiting overcomes the joys of love.
Few relationships with a married person work out. I don't doubt she cares about you, but taking a decision of leaving her husband can be extremely difficult because of the children and her own marriage history.
Just you know how much you can stand a relationship with someone you love and that can't be there for you.
You asked, pain now or pain later. So hard to answer, because at the end what we want to avoid is pain altogether.
Listen to your gut feeling, to your instinct. Generally it is our own voice that tells us what is the best thing to do.
2007-05-01 09:41:42 · answer #3 · answered by Flyinghorse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why she is telling you not to wait for her?
It's because she has no intentions on leaving.
The cheating spouse will always say how miserable and lonely they feel in their relationship, and what a lob of crap they are married to.
Bottom line, you don't live there and you don't know the kind of crap she may be initiating.
If she didn't love him and wanted out of the marriage, she would be gone, like last week.
But she stays and it's just not for the kids either.
Do yourself a favor and find a single gal that is available emotionally and physically. One that doesn't have to sneak around to be with you.
2007-05-01 09:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have both, the kids will not be pleased at that the thought of you. Let this women go and get on with your life.
She is married and if she wanted to leave him she would.
If it was meant to be with you and her she will leave her husband and come and find you. Other then that get your life together and stop throwing dirt on someone else's. Also she might be telling you her husband is a bad guy but at home he thinks everything is cool.
2007-05-01 09:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in love with a married woman to. She never left her husband. Get out!
2007-05-01 09:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow thats a tuffy....it depends. you love this woman sooo much so does that mean you want to be with or marry her in the future. thats the only case in which I would wait for someone. she comes with alot of baggage. things might change with her husband and they might work it out, then you would have waited for nothing. listen to the person who is telling you herself not to wait....
2007-05-01 09:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all... what lies is she telling you about her husband?
he could be the nicest bloke you'd ever meet. she outa leave him if she's "so unhappy".
if she was that unhppy, don't you think she would of left her husband by now?
2007-05-01 09:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dylangirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i know someone in a similar situation... and it is not pretty~! it is ridiculous for you to do that... when she is ready to leave him.. she will.. if she isn't ready to leave him.. then she is probably bullshitting you anyways... its like that saying... 'the grass isn't always greener on the other side'
2007-05-01 09:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of their words, people do what they truly want to do.
If she wants to be with you, she will be. If not, she is not ready to end her marriage and it is time for you to move on.
2007-05-01 09:34:20 · answer #10 · answered by CountryLady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋